# Remind me again, what do women want? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 27, 2002, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remind-me-again-what-do-women-want/100390 "2002-03-27T16:08:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remind-me-again-what-do-women-want/100390/21 "2002-03-27T20:01:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by inertia \* > \*\*I’ve got my own bugs to squish (or not) and I’ve got my own life and hobbies that I don’t really care to throw away for the opportunity to deal with someone else’s problems. Particularly when those problems are as insignificant as bug squishing. \*\* Well, **inertia** , since your life is so complete and fufilling that it makes the minimal effort required to lift a shoe and squish a bug seem like too high of a cost for love, companionship, sex, and occasional home-cooked meals, then why are you bothering to ask for women advice at all? I mean really, one of the main characteristics of a serious relationship is that you find yourself _dealing with someone else’s problems_. Significant, insignificant, and everything in between. bella ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remind-me-again-what-do-women-want/100390/22 "2002-03-27T20:03:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Francesca \* > \*\*To be regarded as an individual rather than a generic “woman”. \*\* What a stunning revelation! What will they think of next? Treating women as if they didn’t come off a production line but instead like they are actual human beings with multiple variations? That actually makes sense. We can’t have that now, can we? Back to the kitchen with you, woman, and bring me a beer so that I might scratch myself disgustingly and watch endless sporting events. ---
**Author:** ![chula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a4c791/32.png) [@chula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chula)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remind-me-again-what-do-women-want/100390/23 "2002-03-27T20:24:10Z")
_Reminds me of a joke:_ HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN Caress her, praise her, pamper her, respect her, understand her, compliment her, cherish her, accept her, support her, worship her, protect her, serenade her, charm her, spoil her. HOW TO PLEASE A MAN Show up naked. Bring beer. ---
**Author:** ![miamouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@miamouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miamouse)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remind-me-again-what-do-women-want/100390/24 "2002-03-27T20:37:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by inertia \* > \*\* > > Ignoring the gold-digging comment . . . \*\* You should have. 'Twas a joke. Again: 1. To feel special 2. Mutual appreciation 3. Mutual love Basically, the golden rule should apply. PS. I had a bug squished for me not six hours ago, thankyooverymuch. A big ol’ honkin’ waterbug. And my hero got a much deserved smootch for it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![inertia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d07c76/32.png) [@inertia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inertia)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remind-me-again-what-do-women-want/100390/25 "2002-03-27T20:44:44Z")
I don’t mean to pick on anyone, but a lot of individual women say this > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Francesca \* > \*\*To be regarded as an individual rather than a generic “woman”. \*\* and act like this > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sidle \*\*\*Seriously, all women want is a tall, dark, handsome guy with a sports car, huge wallet, abs and buns of steel, sensitivity, intelligence, charm, wit, a beach house, a cabin in the mountains, > and a great big c[he]ck. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remind-me-again-what-do-women-want/100390/26 "2002-03-27T21:03:32Z")
Hell. I just want a guy with decent power tools. And beer. Guess I’m easy… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remind-me-again-what-do-women-want/100390/27 "2002-03-27T21:04:07Z")
Ah, but the question is, **inertia** , do you really want a “woman” who requires a “great big c[he]ck”? (Or c[lo]ck? Or c[ra]ck?) By the same token, what do men want? You may want to “do” Britney Spears, but do you really want to _keep_ her just because of how she looks? Some men would be happy to boink her until the next starlet comes along, some would figure the pain was worth the pleasure and go for the long haul, others might be more discriminating and ignore her altogether. If men are allowed such variation in thought, shouldn’t women be allowed the same? Men have been trying to figure out “women” for centuries, and vice versa. Is it any wonder why they’ve never done so and are still asking? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remind-me-again-what-do-women-want/100390/28 "2002-03-27T21:04:57Z")
The question is not what we want–it’s what have you got. Though it would be easy to go for the cheap shot and say women in general want a man with money, looks, money, possessions, money, huge cocks and oh yeah money but that would be wrong. The simple answer is that generally women want the same things men want but the complicated answer is that different people want different things to different degrees at differing times. For myself, I want companionship, intimacy, honesty, intelligence, and compatible moral character and life goals. YMMV ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remind-me-again-what-do-women-want/100390/29 "2002-03-27T21:13:15Z")
Oh and **Ender** How you doin:D ---
**Author:** ![MONTY2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/53a042/32.png) [@MONTY2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MONTY2)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remind-me-again-what-do-women-want/100390/30 "2002-03-27T21:15:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by inertia \* > \*\* > > It’s quite a lot to ask for and IMO it crosses the line into idealistically unrealistic especially the bit about “someone who can’t get enough of me.” I don’t know if you’re in a relationship at this point, but I hope you’ll realize that while it’s a wonderful thing when two people can come together and form a single, solid relationship, there ARE still two people with their own needs. > \*\* I realize it’s a lot to ask for. To be completely honest, I don’t think that a “real” person exists with **all** of the qualities I listed. This is an idealistic and unrealistic portrayal of someone I have not yet met. I look for someone open minded because I am open minded too. It’s not like if I were to meet someone who has 99% of what I’m looking for but he’s not really outwardly friendly for example I’m going to say… “Sorry buddy, you’re not exactly what I’m looking for”. The original question was … What do women want. Well **I want it all** , but if you’re looking for a more realistic example of what I want, then I just want someone who loves and respects me as much as I love and respect him. I think (Please God, let me be right about my next phrase) as long as those two are covered, the rest will fall into place. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remind-me-again-what-do-women-want/100390/31 "2002-03-27T21:21:13Z")
So you’re saying that a lot of women _say_ that they want to be treated as individuals, but act as if they won’t settle for less than the moon on a stick. You missed my point. I would advise that you stop asking what “women” want. Ask what each individual woman you would like to date would like. Generic tips help in getting a first date. Beyond that you’re dating a person, not “women”. If you find that person happens to desire the moon on a stick and you can’t provide it, you’re not suited. Just as if you were the one that desired the moon on a stick and she couldn’t provide it. There are plenty of women who are not nearly as demanding as you think. Plenty who don’t have a set list of demands. And for those who do, those demands are usually flexible. **Monty** , for example, has only two things she considers _very_ important. The rest is flexible. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remind-me-again-what-do-women-want/100390/32 "2002-03-27T21:34:23Z")
> [@](#): > > But really we just want you to make us feel special, appreciate us and love us as much as we love you. Oh! and to open up pickle jars and squish bugs. That too. “…She first saw him at the Bar at Greenstreet’s. He was opening a jar of martini olives while stamping one of the Bar Roaches under a tooled cowboy boot…” From **The Perfect Lover** , due out this Summer, From Harlequin. ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remind-me-again-what-do-women-want/100390/33 "2002-03-27T21:39:29Z")
**Fran** , would you settle for a comet on a stick? 😉 I’m not sure what the heck you’d do with it, but… ---
**Author:** ![Leifsmama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a698b9/32.png) [@Leifsmama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leifsmama)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remind-me-again-what-do-women-want/100390/34 "2002-03-27T23:51:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by inertia \* > \*\* > > Isn’t the classic line when someone a woman dumps a guy, “Let’s just be friends”? In addition to friendship, what qualities are you looking for. \*\* The friendship thing has always taken care of the other qualities. Someone you can talk to, you can have fun with, won’t hang you out to dry, trust completely, respect (giving and getting.) Haven’t you ever had a really good girl friend? If you did, did you ever think about how easy it was to be with them and how nice if you could have a relationship **just like that**? My husband is my best friend. Now we have kids and share bills, but essentially, he’s still my best friend. There’s no one I’d rather tell secrets to, spend time with, do anything with. I enjoy him thoroughly! ---
**Author:** ![Raini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@Raini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raini)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2002, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remind-me-again-what-do-women-want/100390/35 "2002-03-28T02:01:55Z")
Hmmmmm…I am 100%female…and don’t even know what I want…so i’ll have to get back to you on that one! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2002, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remind-me-again-what-do-women-want/100390/36 "2002-03-28T02:08:23Z")
The benefits of a liberal arts education have revealed to me the indisputable true answer to the question: “What do women want?” My good buddy Geoff said it best 500 years or so ago. I paraphrase. “Women want to be in charge.” ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2002, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remind-me-again-what-do-women-want/100390/37 "2002-03-28T02:13:55Z")
Oh, and they also like it when you take them on shopping esprix. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2002, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remind-me-again-what-do-women-want/100390/38 "2002-03-28T02:19:25Z")
Gee, there must be something seriously wrong with me. I don’t want, tall, dark, handsome, abs, buns, sportscar, etc. The man I want is medium height, balding, glasses, drives a truck, is soft and cuddly, and seems to like me despite my imperfect figure. What makes him irresistible, Inertia, is that he is a grown-up. He works hard, takes responsibility, has a serious side, a whimsical side, a spiritual side, and a sexy side. He doesn’t whine…but if he ever has a whiny day, I’ll listen, like he listens to me. He isn’t crude…but not a prude, either (and when I make stupid rhymes like that, he teases me, but not meanly). There was an article in the paper today about people who have given up on finding the “Right” one. The woman they interviewed said that part of the problem she had was that she has “a fear of the compromises that are necessary to make a good marriage…I’m too selfish to do that, if that’s what it takes to be married” Well, duh! Could this be why she can’t find love? She’s too much a child (at 30) to understand that compromise doesn’t mean giving up yourself…it just means caring about what someone else wants/needs/likes and considering it when making decisions…and that person doing the same for you. Nowhere is it written that compromise means never getting to do what you want to do, ever again, until the end of time. But sometimes we have to give up things we’d really like to do (like sleep with other people) if that would hurt our partner. Is that a terrible sacrifice? Impossible? No, of course not. Not if you care about the other person…if hurting them would be painful to you. If it isn’t…if you can willingly do something that would hurt someone you care about, just for the sake of maintaining your sense of independence, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship. As for bugs and pickle jars…you’re missing the point, Inertia. I live alone. I kill bugs, and open jars…I may need a special tool, but I do it. But I don’t enjoy bug-squishing, and I would love to have someone here who would do it for me, just because they care about me, and because they know that those little considerations are sometimes the sexiest thing a man can do. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2002, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remind-me-again-what-do-women-want/100390/39 "2002-03-28T04:22:46Z")
Tupperware -Les Nessman ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2002, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remind-me-again-what-do-women-want/100390/40 "2002-03-28T04:25:15Z")
[Beastie Boys] Hey, all I really want is girls… [/Beastie Boys] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remind-me-again-what-do-women-want/100390.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remind-me-again-what-do-women-want/100390.md?page=3)