# Remote-control Fruit Flies

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remote-control-fruit-flies/298643>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [April 10, 2005, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remote-control-fruit-flies/298643 "2005-04-10T06:33:11Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\
**Post date:** [April 10, 2005, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remote-control-fruit-flies/298643/1 "2005-04-10T06:33:11Z")

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No, **Esprix** has not left the ground. This is, if anything, _more_ disturbing.

[Scientists can now stimulate fruit fly neurons and make them jump, walk, flap their wings, and fly.](http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/R/REMOTE_CONTROL_FLIES?SITE=NNCO&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT)

> [@The Associated Press](#):
>
> Even headless flies took flight when researchers stimulated the correct neurons, according to the study, published in the April 7 issue of the journal Cell.

Arise, my zombie terrorist minions! Fly down the gullets of infidels and up the noses of harlots! Buzz menacingly around the Great Satan’s fruit!

TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA, BUT ZOMBIE FLIES LIKE VENGANCE! BWA-HA-HA!

Ahem. Sorry.

The excuse they give for this wonderfully grotesque experiment is that it will help us determine the cells associated with aggression, overeating, and psychiatric disorders. Excuse me while I reread _The Terminal Man_.

In other news, mice appear to be next.

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**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\
**Post date:** [April 10, 2005, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remote-control-fruit-flies/298643/2 "2005-04-10T17:11:00Z")

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> [@Derleth](#):
>
> TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA, BUT ZOMBIE FLIES LIKE VENGANCE! BWA-HA-HA!

Fruit flies may like a banana, but NO, THEY’RE GOING TO EAT THE APPLE INSTEAD! EAT IT MY MINIONS! EAT IT, WHETHER YOU WANT TO OR NOT! BWAAAA HA HA HAAAA!

That’s incredibly creepy.

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**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\
**Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remote-control-fruit-flies/298643/3 "2005-04-11T18:40:11Z")

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> [@Jenaroph](#):
>
> Fruit flies may like a banana, but NO, THEY’RE GOING TO EAT THE APPLE INSTEAD! EAT IT MY MINIONS! EAT IT, WHETHER YOU WANT TO OR NOT! BWAAAA HA HA HAAAA!
> 
> That’s incredibly creepy.

Apparently, this thread is about as zombified as those flies. Doesn’t anyone else long for the day when he, too, has utter control over the buzzing minions? Doesn’t anyone else’s heart hearken to the notion of being a technocratic God-King to hordes of flying monsters?

You are all weird, and shall be sore harassed when I apply this technology to horseflies and wasps.