# Removing semen stains from wooden floor (Need help) **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [November 13, 2010, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/removing-semen-stains-from-wooden-floor-need-help/560536 "2010-11-13T05:04:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Astral\_Rejection](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/258eb7/32.png) [@Astral\_Rejection](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astral_Rejection)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2012, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/removing-semen-stains-from-wooden-floor-need-help/560536/41 "2012-08-07T20:18:46Z")
> [@conway](#): > > I don’t even want to know how you ended up at this nearly two year old thread. The thought process: “Been there, done that…” ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2012, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/removing-semen-stains-from-wooden-floor-need-help/560536/42 "2012-08-07T20:22:34Z")
> [@katie9264](#): > > Well, it’s not obvious that it’s semen. It’s just six white (perfectly circular) spots scattered across two rooms. Why do I think a floor refinisher would see that and say quietly to himself, “Yep. It’s spooge.” ---
**Author:** ![Dano83860](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a4c791/32.png) [@Dano83860](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dano83860)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2012, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/removing-semen-stains-from-wooden-floor-need-help/560536/43 "2012-08-07T20:27:26Z")
Mineral spirits might help. When they installed the carpet in our house the carpet backing scratched the base boards. The mineral spirits dissolved a little bit of the finish and covered the damage. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2012, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/removing-semen-stains-from-wooden-floor-need-help/560536/44 "2012-08-07T20:28:42Z")
One would hope that after two years, they’ve found a solution or moved. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2012, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/removing-semen-stains-from-wooden-floor-need-help/560536/45 "2012-08-07T20:37:02Z")
“they”? **katie** spoke only in terms of “I,” suggesting that the spooger was not in fact domiciled at the place in question. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2012, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/removing-semen-stains-from-wooden-floor-need-help/560536/46 "2012-08-07T20:37:36Z")
And the apartment remains unrented to this day. Because no one wanted to live in a place with semen stains on the floor. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2012, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/removing-semen-stains-from-wooden-floor-need-help/560536/47 "2012-08-07T20:42:59Z")
Not that I want to admit to anything on a public forum regarding delayed cleanup of semen and its effects on hardwood floors, but I find it hard to believe that the stains were left by cum. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2012, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/removing-semen-stains-from-wooden-floor-need-help/560536/48 "2012-08-07T20:44:33Z")
I’m just disappointed we didn’t hear the story behind it… ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2012, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/removing-semen-stains-from-wooden-floor-need-help/560536/49 "2012-08-07T20:46:15Z")
It’s a floor. The story was somewhere _over_ it. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2012, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/removing-semen-stains-from-wooden-floor-need-help/560536/50 "2012-08-07T21:05:29Z")
> [@katie9264](#): > > Well, it’s not obvious that it’s semen. It’s just six white (perfectly circular) spots scattered across two rooms. He was able to shoot between two rooms and across two years. That’s impressive. ---
**Author:** ![Crab\_Rangoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Crab\_Rangoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crab_Rangoon)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2012, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/removing-semen-stains-from-wooden-floor-need-help/560536/51 "2012-08-07T22:34:52Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > He was able to shoot between two rooms and across two years. That’s impressive. You don’t know that. She could have had a huge jar of semen that she has been collecting for years - and when she was putting the cover back on - maybe she spilled a bit or it was dripping while she carried it through the house to the basement for safe storage. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2012, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/removing-semen-stains-from-wooden-floor-need-help/560536/52 "2012-08-07T22:59:10Z")
> [@Dano83860](#): > > Mineral spirits might help. When they installed the carpet in our house the carpet backing scratched the base boards. The mineral spirits dissolved a little bit of the finish and covered the damage. I’d be very careful with that. When I clean cosmoline off of rifles, I try to make sure it only touches the metal parts, as it “bleaches” the wood. If the OP did go this route (too late now I’m guessing), I wouldn’t leave it on too long, or spot check in a corner or something. Yeah, where’s the story!? ---
**Author:** ![shstrang98](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@shstrang98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shstrang98)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2012, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/removing-semen-stains-from-wooden-floor-need-help/560536/53 "2012-08-07T23:45:11Z")
> [@chela](#): > > help coming fast -} Not yet but breathing hard… ---
**Author:** ![Fubaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@Fubaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fubaya)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2012, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/removing-semen-stains-from-wooden-floor-need-help/560536/54 "2012-08-08T00:51:00Z")
Pffft. Only two rooms? ---
**Author:** ![madrabbitwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@madrabbitwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madrabbitwoman)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2012, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/removing-semen-stains-from-wooden-floor-need-help/560536/55 "2012-08-08T23:33:55Z")
try a walnut or tobacco - old home remedies ---
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/removing-semen-stains-from-wooden-floor-need-help/560536/56 "2012-08-09T01:07:48Z")
Reminds me of Seaman Staines. > **['Captain Pugwash' Double Meanings](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/captain-pugwash-double-meanings/)** > > Rumor: The characters in 'Captain Pugwash' had names that were sexual double entendres. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/removing-semen-stains-from-wooden-floor-need-help/560536/57 "2012-08-09T01:16:04Z")
recommended for forum change to the “ask the porn producer” thread. If anyone would know, he would ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/removing-semen-stains-from-wooden-floor-need-help/560536/58 "2012-08-09T04:31:22Z")
In middle school we used to “Mr. Clean comes in a bottle.” Maybe we just forgot that the apostrophe is silent to change the verb into a possessive noun. ---
**Author:** ![SpottyMcSpot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@SpottyMcSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpottyMcSpot)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2020, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/removing-semen-stains-from-wooden-floor-need-help/560536/59 "2020-06-17T05:54:49Z")
What was the story of OP… What eventually worked for him her that was an easy to find at home product… ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2020, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/removing-semen-stains-from-wooden-floor-need-help/560536/60 "2020-06-17T07:19:24Z")
> [@SpottyMcSpot](#): > > What was the story of OP… What eventually worked for him her that was an easy to find at home product… Nice handle there, Mr. McSpot. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/removing-semen-stains-from-wooden-floor-need-help/560536.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/removing-semen-stains-from-wooden-floor-need-help/560536.md?page=4)