# Rene Descartes **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 28, 2000, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rene-descartes/27164 "2000-07-28T05:54:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rene-descartes/27164/21 "2000-07-29T08:31:17Z")
Well…hmmm, the gist I got from _Meditations_ (and, admittedly, the way my philosophy prof explained it) was that Descartes starts doubting everything, saying it’s possible that everything is a big deception (think _The Matrix_, and says nothing can be proven to exist, because it all might be deception. But _he_ must exist, because, since he thinks, _there is a **he** being deceived_. I think, therefore, I am. But if I think not, am I not? I think not. – Saved by the Bell ---
**Author:** ![Mustapha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Mustapha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mustapha)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rene-descartes/27164/22 "2000-07-29T09:43:34Z")
Perhaps it’s not Descartes, but Popeye? “I yam what I yam - but I doubts it! Ugh-uk-uk-uk!” So easy to get those two confused. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rene-descartes/27164/23 "2000-07-29T10:21:10Z")
Well the whole thing is a legitimate branch of philosophy, but damned if I can remember the name. It’s not quite radical skepticism (the theory that we are, or could be, wrong about everything), but it’s awfully close. The point is to throw out all assumptions, including “I exist,” and try to prove everything deductively using logic. Different philosophers have used different methods to do this, but none have gotten very far. Descartes’ method was to prove that you exist (simple enough), then prove that there is a non-deceiving God. I’m not sure if he ever proved that non-deceiving god to his own satisfaction, as I’ve never had the time to read Descartes . . . ooh, Sportscenter is on! ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rene-descartes/27164/24 "2000-07-29T10:32:01Z")
For shame, all of you: you can’t even remember the whole song off the top of your heads? _Tsk, Tsk, Tsk. . ._ Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant who was very rarely stable, Heideigger, Heideigger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table, David Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Frederick Hegel, And Wichtenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Shleigel. There’s nothin Neitzsche couldn’t teach ya 'bout the raising of the wrist, Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed. John Stuart Mill, of his free will, on half a bottle of shanty was particularly ill, Plato, they say, could stick it away: half a crate of whiskey every day, Aristotle, Aristotle was a bagger for the bottle, Hobbes was fond of his dram, **And René Descartes was a drunken fart, "I drink therefore I am."** ## Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed, A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he’s pissed! Note: Spelling of philosophers’ names is, no doubt, mangled harribly above. ---
**Author:** ![Mustapha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Mustapha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mustapha)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rene-descartes/27164/25 "2000-07-29T10:47:21Z")
Of course, we do! But do you know why “your American beer is like making love in a canoe”? ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rene-descartes/27164/26 "2000-07-29T12:17:20Z")
Enlighten me. . . ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rene-descartes/27164/27 "2000-07-29T18:31:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mustapha \* > \*\*Of course, we do! But do you know why “your American beer is like making love in a canoe”? \*\* No, but I know why it’s served cold…So it can be distinguished from urine. * * * Somebody please help me finish this fundamental truth: non multum cogito, ergo ??? I don’t think much, therefore I might not be. I want to adopt that as my personal motto, but I need to know how to say it. ---
**Author:** ![aseymayo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@aseymayo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aseymayo)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rene-descartes/27164/28 "2000-07-29T19:08:45Z")
Ahem - if you’re going to accuse people of not knowing the lyrics, it helps if you get them right yourself. David Hume could out-consume _Schopenhauer_ and Hegel. John Stuart Mill…on half a _pint of shan **d** y_… Aristotle was a _bugger_ for the bottle. [/nitpick] ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rene-descartes/27164/29 "2000-07-29T21:05:03Z")
American beer is like making love in a canoe in that it’s f\*\*\*ing close to water! ---
**Author:** ![Mustapha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Mustapha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mustapha)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2000, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rene-descartes/27164/30 "2000-07-30T02:53:32Z")
- mild but earnest applause \* ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2000, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rene-descartes/27164/31 "2000-07-30T14:30:35Z")
aseymayo, shanty/shandy was a typo (I wa goign fast) I’ll take your word on bugger/bagger, for now And I’m quite sure it was “Wilhelm Frederick,” not “Schopenhauer and”. What would a composer be doing in Bruce’s Philosopher Song? Try Decomposing Composers. ---
**Author:** ![Drogulus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Drogulus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drogulus)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2000, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rene-descartes/27164/32 "2000-07-30T18:10:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by VarlosZ \* > \*\*And I’m quite sure it was “Wilhelm Frederick,” not “Schopenhauer and”. What would a composer be doing in Bruce’s Philosopher Song? Try Decomposing Composers. \*\* The Pythons have done both versions on various shows and recordings. And Schopenhauer was a philosopher; the composer you’re thinking of is Schonberg or Schumann or somebody. ---
**Author:** ![aseymayo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@aseymayo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aseymayo)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2000, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rene-descartes/27164/33 "2000-07-30T18:29:54Z")
Gee whiz, **VarlosZ** , don’t take my word for it - you can take [their](http://bau2.uibk.ac.at/sg/python/Scripts/ThePhilosophersSong) word, or [theirs](http://www.stone-dead.asn.au/albums-cds/lyrics/bruces-philosophers-song-live.html). Gosh, how could I have forgotten [Schopenhauer](http://www.britannica.com/bcom/eb/article/9/0,5716,67919+2+66208,00.html) was a Great Composer? How could I have not remembered his big Top Ten hit, _The World as Will and Idea_? - it’s such a catchy little tune. And now you mention it, I’m sure I’ve heard _On The Fourfold Root of Sufficient Reason_ in the background of a Chevy truck commercial. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rene-descartes/27164.md?page=1)