I actually make a lot of my own stuff, from clothes to jewelry to accessories. I also buy from others who make stuff. That purse is the only one I have that’s that ‘out there’, most of my other things are more plain and low-key. I have plenty of stuff that’s not ‘whimsical’ or whatnot, but my point is that the vast majority of it is original and a refreshing alternative from all the copies of copies out there. Why would someone rather have a status symbol instead of something they actually really LIKE?
If someone gets a designer bag because they genuinely like the design, that’s fine, I’m not judging that. But getting something just because it’s the flavor of the month IS pretty small-minded. I know the purse I have is not everybody’s cup of tea, but at least I really like it, it’s one-of-a-kind, and I’m supporting an independent designer who made it all by hand. How many owners of designer bags can say the same about their purchase?
Some people actually, really like status symbols. And that is cool with me…I don’t consider myself one of those people.
And I also wasn’t judging your bag. I personally love when people express their individuality. If you think about it, folks don’t really have to express themselves at all through fashion, so when they do, it is like a little gift of themselves they are offering. They are allowing you to know something about them without going to any effort to really get to know them. I think that is interesting that people are willing to do that.
So you *ask * people if they really *like * their bags before you decide that they’re shallow, materialistic sheep?
Do you honestly believe that (other, unenlightened) people (who aren’t you) choose their posessions for reasons *other * than that they like them? Do you picture some poor, clueless, desperate woman wandering into a department store and saying to the clerk “Oh god, I don’t know… just give me whatever you’ve sold the most of this month.”
Hey, you don’t like most designer bags. That’s cool. I don’t like yours. That’s cool too. See how I stick to “I” statements there? Because when we don’t stick to “I” statements, you wind up telling me what I’m carrying makes me look shallow and materialistic, and I wind up telling you that your looks like it holds everything you need to go to Bingo in Anchorage.
One thing I wanted to ask–ya know, when I have the means I might buy a tailored Armani suit, not only for the reason of looking good and feeling good, but also to project a powerful image in a business or social environment. Is this a consideration as well for expensive bags & other accessories?
I really like my Gucci bag. I don’t care that it’s similar to a bunch of other bags out there. It’s simplistic, sturdy, and functional. I’m not “proud” of it, as you said you were about your moose bag, but I’m not ashamed of it either. It’s just a bag.
I also think it’s weird that you think your purchase of a handmade bag by an independent designer gives you some kind of moral high ground over someone who buys a designer handbag. But if it helps you sleep better at night, more power to you.
[QUOTE=Nzinga, Seated]
Out of curiosity…would a beginner need expensive skates for any reason? Me and my daughter have very cheap skates (35 bucks). Do we need better ones, even though we aren’t professional skaters?
I think it would make sense to wait to see how often you skate before making a real investment. When you start to do jumps and high speed turns, you’ll be ready for an upgrade!
I love your photos! You’re really funny, man!
(Please nitpickers, I realize that Nzinga is a beautiful woman - the use of the word “man” is a reflection of my normal speech pattern)
Bingo–and this is why I have more than one purse. Back when I had a life and had to go to social functions that were church or social position related or husband’s business related–I used different bags for almost all of these occasions. Lunch with ladies at the club requires a certain bag (which will change with the seasons) than sit down banquet with business associates of The Husband’s. Formal evening bags, small clutches, casual bags, diaper bags, weekend away bags, day long seminar or job fair bags–I have two whole bins of bags. Since back then I had more funds, I had more expensive bags, but I never went the designer route–I’m not willing to pay that much for say an evening bag I’ll use 4 times in one season. But others do. I know my sister who is an ad exec and travels the globe for her work, uses all kinds of designer bags–it’s as much a part of business attire as a man’s tie or briefcase.
Of course, now I have a different life and use mostly 2 bags: one for warm weather and one for cold. But I still change bags for going out in the evening etc.
The moose bag is young and fun and casual–enjoy it. The Gucci is nice looking and practical and probably holds a small refrigerator–great choice.
In the grand scheme of things, does the choice of bag (bought or rented) really matter? are you not going to be someone’s friend because they didn’t buy a Coach bag or a quilt art one at a flea market?
Absolutely. And rental bags would be great for the woman who has a once a year occation to carry an expensive bag but no desire to spend the money to own one. The once a year partner’s dinner at her husband’s firm. If you choose to play on those playing fields, it does mean that people will judge your bag and your shoes.
Some people collect expensive handbags. I don’t get it - being the type of girl who buys one all purpose handbag and seldom switches bags for any reason, but I get it more than people who collect Precious Moments figurines or Department 56 Christmas houses. Hey, I have a case of $100 a bottle wine down in my basement, I know plenty of people who think Yellowtail is a good enough wine and don’t get why anyone would drink expensive wine.
I just went to have a look at the Coach site. Those are some ugly bags. I’d rather rent one of those than actually have to confess to buying something so incredibly tasteless.
Coach bags change seasonally. I’m not a big fan of the current Coach look, but there have been some bags over the years that I’ve liked - and then realized they are Coach. My current bag is a Coach knockoff - but I didn’t know that until much later. So don’t judge every Coach purse by their current line. However, I wouldn’t hold my breath that they’ll stick a moose on one…
Sure, I have said offhand to a few people (in a friendly way), “Oh, I see you have one of those (X) bags. You must really like it, eh?” And none of the responses were, “Oh yes! It’s sturdy and holds this and this, etc.”. The responses were, “Uh, I guess” or “It’s fine,” or in one case, just a shrug. Doesn’t sound like much enthusiasm for such an expensive purchase.
So you’re saying that no person has ever bought anything for the sole purpose of fitting in or being trendy? Yeah, right.
So, why DO you have your expensive designer bag? If you found a nice-looking no-name brand built the same way that was cheaper, would you get it instead? If the one you have was declared no longer trendy and people stopped carrying them around, would you stop carrying yours too? Seriously, now. I’d really like to know. I expressed the reasons I have mine, what are yours?
A WAG: if you asked me that in a completely even, neutral manner I’d think it was a rather odd question and would probably be pretty offhand in my response to you as well. But it seems more likely to me that you came across as having a sizable chip on your shoulder, making your target even more eager to end the conversation.
Why should anyone have to go out of their way to justify their stuff to you?
I don’t know what happened to Coach. They used to make gorgeous, last forever classics. Now they all look like Ivana Trump put them in a blender. Coach used to be the Katherine Hepburn kind of bag–or Lauren Bacall. Classic, sexy and formidable.
<sigh>
If someone came up to me and said, “oh, you have one of those bags?” I’d immediately look at hers, but also think–ok, what’s on your agenda today, missy?
I most likely wouldn’t enthuse about it for 3 reasons:
I don’t want to give her fodder if this is going to be one of those mean girl jellyfish moments. Jellyfish (ala Bridget Jones) are those women who glide up to you and seem harmless, but manage to put poison darts in your flesh and you don’t even realize it until she leaves.
I don’t appreciate or want to play #1.
The answer to the question is either yes or no, unless you are really wanting to do #1.
Well, that’s a good response. You’re one of the few so far who’s stated liking a designer bag for a personal reason instead of just because it’s popular.
In the same vein, I think it’s weird that someone would prefer to buy an expensive item represented by a multimillion-dollar designer, who likely has them mass-produced by sweatshop laborers who don’t get any of the profits. I do sleep better at night if I know that all parties involved were treated and paid fairly.
I asked because I honesty want to know why everyone seems to like those bags so much. If more people told me they like it because it appeals to them in design/function/etc, I probably wouldn’t be biased. But all I’ve heard so far is anger over the question or refusal to answer it. If someone gives their opinion on why they have their own bag, I’m not going to mock it. I’d respect them for answering honestly.
All the skirting around an honest question just reinforces my belief that most people are buying these things just to fit in to pop culture’s expectations of them, and that’s really sad.
People do things for all kinds of reasons. Their reasons are none of my business, really. nor my concern, since I don’t define myself in relation to what other people do.
I carry my expensive bags because I like them. If I found an identical bag for less, of course I’d buy it. And I carry what **I ** like, so what other people are carrying doesn’t really factor in. Seriously.
And I don’t see why that’s difficult for you to grasp. After all, I can’t imagine what anyone could possibly like about that scrap moose monstrosity, and yet I don’t assume you bought it for the *sole * purpose of being smugly unfashionable.
With everyone telling you their perception of the question, perhaps you should consider that your question (or how you phrase it) is off-putting? Your question does sound odd the way you wrote it. Like others, I’d be wondering what you were getting at and assume it might be an attitude… well, like you’re displaying. And I wouldn’t want to deal with that.
Something like, “Oh, cute bag! It looks really roomy, is it?” or whatever is a lot more friendlier and you’re more likely to get actual answers.
All of your posts show that you have An Assumption About Bags. Every answer someone could give, minus about, oh, 2 of them, will be molded to fit your Assumption. When that Assumption is rather rude, don’t be surprised if people either get annoyed or don’t want to play your game.
But the point was, why should they have to explain it or justify it to you? What if they do really just get a kick out of having something designery and trendy, and they know that’s what you’re just salivating to hear, so you can feel superior to them? I wouldn’t want to answer that question, either. It sounds totally loaded…“hey, you spent a ton of money on that bag…do you think your foolish purchase could have possibly been worth it?”
Oh, and BTW, the way you phrased it: “Oh, I see you have one of those (X) bags. You must really like it, eh?” is a yes or no question. If you really want to know why people like a bag, say, “I’m looking around for a new bag…would you recommend the one you have?” I’ll bet you’ll get much better answers that way.
(I don’t know much about bags, but I write questionnaires for a living, so I know how to get people to give more than one-word answers! )
Never met a person in my life who doesn’t do one thing or another to fit into “pop culture’s” expectations. It’s human nature.
Who are you–the arbiter of honest fashion questions and answers? Maybe the folks you’re asking don’t want or need your respect. Maybe they aren’t interested in defending their choices so they can be praised by you for their “honesty”.
Is it morally wrong to buy a handbag when you don’t know exactly where or how it was manufactured? If so, shopping just got a whole lot harder. It’d be great if all companies paid a living wage and went green and I’m all for that, but when it comes to day to day stuff–I’m going to buy what I like or what’s on sale or what I need-that’s the way life works.
Your last comment about this being sad is both sanctimonious and ignorant. You’re real maverick, you are. :rolleyes: Wearing a purse at all is a societal expectation for most women–how that manifests itself is up to each woman. What is so wrong about trying to fit into pop culture’s expectations? How is Gucci and Louis Vitton fitting into pop culture? I see them more as just fashion. Aping Britney Spear’s fashion choices strikes me as more “pop” than a D&B bag.
Man is a social animal and people are more comfortable fitting in with the crowd. The “crowd” changes as you age–I’d no more be seen wearing a moose bag at my age than you’d be seen wearing a black leather one with pockets. If you’re still using the moose bag at age 50, do let us know. We promise to respect you for your choice.
I would certainly like it if everyone in this world were paid fairly and had ponies to ride and puppies to sleep with at night. However, the truth of the matter is that most of the stuff we buy comes at the expense of unfair treatment somewhere along the line. Call me callous, but I can’t live my life constantly worrying about whether the socks I just bought were woven by free-living hippies living in a tree circle or by the blood and tears of underpaid third-world laborers.
Perhaps I should have turned down my acceptance to UChicago, since the school invests in companies that have ties to the genocide in Darfur? My MA degree was made from the parchment of dead babies and written with the blood of executed freedom fighters!
I’m now wondering if you’ve even read the rest of the thread. We’ve already hashed most of this out. People buy bags for myriads of reasons. I just think it’s strange to judge an individual solely on their choice of bag. How do you know why they have that bag? You don’t.
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