# Rep Won't Let Customer Quit AOL
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rep-wont-let-customer-quit-aol/361636
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [June 21, 2006, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rep-wont-let-customer-quit-aol/361636 "2006-06-21T21:28:38Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2006, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rep-wont-let-customer-quit-aol/361636/21 "2006-06-21T23:16:29Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#):
>
> He did.
Again I make with the unclearity đ
I did read that he got fired, my intent was more that if they hadnât already fired him, he definitely should have been on a formal warning for that crap, coz it is inexcusable.
---
### Author:  [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2006, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rep-wont-let-customer-quit-aol/361636/22 "2006-06-21T23:26:49Z")
Every time I get those $10 checks\* in the mail that obligate you to sign up for some idiot credit âprotectionâ program from my credit card, I deposit it and then wait for the first sign of anything in the mail, then call up and cancel. They always either give you a free month or let you get a refund for the first month.
I once spent about 40 minutes on the phone with the person because I was bored and, after a few minutes, decided to see how long I could keep this going. I said very little except âNo thank youâ when asked to sign up at a reduce rate, or for some _other_ stupid program, âI donât want itâ when asked why I was cancelling, and âit costs moneyâ when asked why I didnât want it. After each round of âit costs money,â the phone rep would launch into what I assume was supposed to be a stirring list of all the âprotectionsâ the plan offered. This spiel inevitably ended with some kind of question-as-statement like âso Iâll just sign you up for that?â
After about 15 minutes, I could tell that the rep was getting frustrated, because she started asking _why_ I was cancelling with such vigor, and she started varying her end of spiel questions (I suppose in the hope that Iâd be confused and give some sort of positive or ambiguous answer). After about the sixth time through, she ended with âdoesnât that sound like a good deal?â I responded that I didnât think so, but maybe if she explained it to me a few more times I might be convinced. There was a pause, and then, very coldly: âIâve cancelled your account. Is there anything else I can help you with today?â
Hereâs a transcript of my other favorite call:
âHi, Iâd like to cancel this credit protection thingy.â
âCan I ask why youâve decided not to keep the service?â
âActually, I never had any intention of keeping it. I just wanted the 10.â âWell, you know that this plan protects your interests if you should ever have a life emergency and need toââ âNo thank you. Just cancel it.â âWould you be interested if we lowered the rate to .49 per $100?â
âNo, but if you give me another $10, Iâll sign up for another free month.â
âItâs been cancelled, sir. Thank you for calling."
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### Author:  [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2006, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rep-wont-let-customer-quit-aol/361636/23 "2006-06-21T23:26:58Z")
> [@neutron star](#):
>
> Iâve never been an AOLer either (well, except for six of my ten free hours in 1995), but Iâve always heard that a good method for a painless cancellation is to tell the retention idiot that youâve lost your job and had to sell your computer to make ends meet.
>
> It would be pretty tough to convince someone to continue using AOL when theyâre physically incapable of doing so.
Well maâam, what we can offer you, so you donât lose your beloved screen name, which you can never, ever get back if you completely cancel your account, is switch you temporarily to our âemail onlyâ account for $3.95 a month. Then you can still send and receive emails, which will be very important in your job hunt!, by logging on to AOLâs website from any computer anywhere, such as a library or a cafe. Then, when you can afford to buy a new computer with your new job, you can just switch right back to the full version with access to all of our unique and exclusive content, and still be known as neutro5846!!" đ
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### Author:  [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2006, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rep-wont-let-customer-quit-aol/361636/24 "2006-06-21T23:37:46Z")
> [@samm](#):
>
> Now I was quite cranky and raised my voice and said, âNO! Cancel the account and reverse the charge! What donât you understand?!â and he finally gave in and said he would cancel it. It was bizarre though and took a long time.
I know itâs frustrating, but try not to get mad at the representative. Theyâre just doing their job. I once had a similar job and I can tell you that itâs pretty miserable to be shouted at all day.
1. The reps canât change the policy.
2. They _have_ to nag, or bribe or plead (whatever the call center has decided as their tactic). The bosses often listen in secretly on calls. (I was once chastized for taking ânoâ for an answer.)
3. Phone centers are often in economically depressed areas and require no higher education. Theyâre often staffed by people who donât have much to chose from when it comes to having a job.
4. Politeness doesnât take that much more time, and I think makes the world a tiny bit better. Keep repeating âNo, thank youâ in a polite but firm voice. I had three prepared ârebuttalsâ that I had to recite if the customer refused the offer, and after the third, I was free to give up and end the call. From my experience being on the recieving end, three ârebuttalsâ seems to be the norm. You can say a polite, âNo, thank you,â three times, canât you? (Karma, my friend.)
5. Your interaction with them is a few minutes long. They have to listen to angry people _all day._ Itâs a shitty job. Why make it shittier for them? Theyâre just trying to earn a living, and have feelings, too.
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### Author:  [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2006, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rep-wont-let-customer-quit-aol/361636/25 "2006-06-21T23:44:59Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#):
>
> Maybe I got someone on their first day.
More likely it was their last day.
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2006, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rep-wont-let-customer-quit-aol/361636/26 "2006-06-21T23:46:30Z")
> [@Sierra Indigo](#):
>
> Youâre missing the idea of the retention department. What that AOL fruitloop did wasnât retention, it was blatantly refusing to assist a customer. Retention departments will do anything in their power to get you to stay, including offering free months, but after refusing them once they (mostly) will close the account anyway. They have to try and retain by offering something the customer may not be getting, or may not be aware theyâre entitled to, not force a retention through completely irritating the customer to the point where they hang up.
>
> And yes, I have to do retention as part of my job (when Iâm working the dial queue). Like in \*\*Lord Ashtarâs \*\* example, it mainly consists of offering a discounted rate or a free month or two, if theyâre both declined then the account gets cancelled. Usually takes about two minutes. That rep went over, above, beyond and shitted on what retention is, and IMHO should have been given a formal warning, if not gotten fired.
Sorry, but I donât buy that for a minute, at least not as far as AOL goes. These stories are so common that these responses have to be company policy, or at least policy at particular call-centers. As such, I feel sort of sorry for the putz who got fired, as heâd probably been specifically instructed to give customers the run around, and only got fired because this time to save face for the company as a whole. If heâd just done what the guy wanted him to do right away, heâd probably have been fired for that, too.
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### Author:  [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2006, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rep-wont-let-customer-quit-aol/361636/27 "2006-06-21T23:57:33Z")
Sure, AOL. I have no problem believing theyâve got some crazy-ass corporate bullshit about fucking customers around until their heads explode.
**Blinkingblinking** was specifically referencing retention departments in _any_ company, though. And while retention can be annoying when you just want to say âI quitâ and get off the phone, thereâs very few companies who ascribe to the AOL customer âserviceâ model. Most of 'em want to give you some options, but if you still say no then they let you go.
All I can say is that Iâm glad AOL didnât get the stranglehold over here that they wanted. They tried, and failed, and weâre all better off for it.
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### Author:  [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2006, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rep-wont-let-customer-quit-aol/361636/28 "2006-06-22T00:48:07Z")
You can listen to the entire call [here](http://www.consumerist.com/consumer/aol/the-best-thing-we-have-ever-posted-reader-tries-to-cancel-aol-180392.php), including the part where the rep asks him if his Dad is there. Thereâs also more implication from the rep that the caller is a liar after he says he doesnât use it anymore - around the 1:10 mark.
You will also notice at the end he then goes through the usual âretentionâ spiel, so it seems as though the first part was the repâs own improv-like creation. Wow.
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### Author:  [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2006, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rep-wont-let-customer-quit-aol/361636/29 "2006-06-22T00:50:59Z")
> [@](#):
>
> **Miller** said:
> As such, I feel sort of sorry for the putz who got fired, as heâd probably been specifically instructed to give customers the run around, and only got fired because this time to save face for the company as a whole.
If there even is a âJohnâ and if that guy was actually fired.
Whatâs to stop AOL from saying âOh, yes, we fired that rep.â without ever having fired anyone? How would the ex-customer know?
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### Author:  [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2006, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rep-wont-let-customer-quit-aol/361636/30 "2006-06-22T00:52:58Z")
Oh, and be sure and listen closely at around the 4:00 mark of the full call I linked to above. He actually tells him that if he doesnât let him finish his âretention-speakâ paragraph, he wonât cancel his account. :eek:
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### Author:  [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2006, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rep-wont-let-customer-quit-aol/361636/31 "2006-06-22T01:03:12Z")
> [@Sierra Indigo](#):
>
> Sure, AOL. I have no problem believing theyâve got some crazy-ass corporate bullshit about fucking customers around until their heads explode.
I worked in a customer service call center, and we were required to give the customers the runaround frequently. When they wanted a supervisor, we would have to âpush back,â as the Supervisor would say. The supervisor could usually give them what they wanted, so it was our job to prey on the slow and weak, ensuring that only the utter assholes got what they wanted.
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### Author:  [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2006, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rep-wont-let-customer-quit-aol/361636/32 "2006-06-22T01:12:07Z")
> [@](#):
>
> **Dooku** said:
> Oh, and be sure and listen closely at around the 4:00 mark of the full call I linked to above. He actually tells him that if he doesnât let him finish his âretention-speakâ paragraph, he wonât cancel his account.
Oh no, my favorite part is where Vincent tells âJohnâ that âJohnâ is annoying the shit out of him and âJohnâ replies that it âgoes both ways.â Also around the time with the rentention-speak paragraph âJohnâ threatens to make the call last all day, and âstart it overâ as a means of dealing with people like Vincent
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### Author:  [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2006, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rep-wont-let-customer-quit-aol/361636/33 "2006-06-22T01:13:43Z")
> [@catsix](#):
>
> If there even is a âJohnâ and if that guy was actually fired.
>
> Whatâs to stop AOL from saying âOh, yes, we fired that rep.â without ever having fired anyone? How would the ex-customer know?
Listen to the recording in the new link and you will get a better flavor of what happened. The CSR was out of line beyond any asshole policy that AOL has.
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### Author:  [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2006, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rep-wont-let-customer-quit-aol/361636/34 "2006-06-22T01:14:53Z")
I hate retention.
If I know a company has a retention department I take advantage of them. Iâve gotten much better rates on my credit cards by calling to cancel even though I had no intention of cancelling.
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### Author:  [@Burrido](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Burrido)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2006, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rep-wont-let-customer-quit-aol/361636/35 "2006-06-22T01:18:32Z")
Earthlink pulled this shit on me years ago. I called them to cancel and got a message of 2 hours + wait because their call center was so âbusyâ. On a hunch, I hung up and called the number to sign up and got to someone right away.
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### Author:  [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2006, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rep-wont-let-customer-quit-aol/361636/36 "2006-06-22T01:43:24Z")
> [@malkavia](#):
>
> I think itâs sad that they fired the representative.
If you think they actually did so, I have a timeshare in a beachfront property just outside Flin Flon, Mantoba that might interest youâŚ
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### Author:  [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2006, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rep-wont-let-customer-quit-aol/361636/37 "2006-06-22T01:46:38Z")
> [@](#):
>
> **hajario** said:
> Listen to the recording in the new link and you will get a better flavor of what happened. The CSR was out of line beyond any asshole policy that AOL has.
I did listen to the call. I still donât think that there is a âJohnâ or that he was fired.
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### Author:  [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2006, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rep-wont-let-customer-quit-aol/361636/38 "2006-06-22T02:03:26Z")
Lord Ashtar and I must have gotten the same rep. When I called up to cancel my AOL account, the entire transaction lasted under a minute. Admittedly, he did ask me why I was cancelling my account but apparently my answer (âI moved to an area where you donât provide any local dial-up connectionsâ - which was true) was good enough that he didnât bother arguing with me.
My suggestion therefore would be to lie to these people if they refuse to disconnect you. Tell them your home was burglarized and your computer was stolen and you canât go online anymore. Or that youâre moving out of the country next week and are disconnecting all of your utilities. Or that youâve joined a Luddite cult and now realize the internet is Satanâs workshop.
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### Author:  [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2006, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rep-wont-let-customer-quit-aol/361636/39 "2006-06-22T02:11:48Z")
> [@saoirse](#):
>
> I worked in a customer service call center, and we were required to give the customers the runaround frequently. When they wanted a supervisor, we would have to âpush back,â as the Supervisor would say. The supervisor could usually give them what they wanted, so it was our job to prey on the slow and weak, ensuring that only the utter assholes got what they wanted.
Well then a) The laws in that state and country are pretty shoddy or b) If the laws are in place, someone need(s/ed) to report that company (and other companies that do the same) to the relevant ruling body.
One of the good things about working in AU is that itâs actually prohibited for a company to prevent a customer from speaking to a manager/team leader if they request it. If a customer wants an escalation, by golly you escalate that call or the relevant Ombudsman will be coming down on your and the companyâs heads with fines that range up into the thousands for the rep, and the hundreds of thousands for the company. So even if the company wanted us to fuck customers around, we couldnât do it on a legal basis.
Sure, if a customer wants a TL for a technical issue, we can notify the customers that the TLs are not technically trained and will not be able to give assistance, but if the customer still wants to speak to them, theyâve gotta be put through, or someone has to call them back.
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### Author:  [@Long\_Time\_First\_Time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Long_Time_First_Time)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2006, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rep-wont-let-customer-quit-aol/361636/40 "2006-06-22T03:14:07Z")
> [@Little Nemo](#):
>
> Lord Ashtar and I must have gotten the same rep. When I called up to cancel my AOL account, the entire transaction lasted under a minute. Admittedly, he did ask me why I was cancelling my account but apparently my answer (âI moved to an area where you donât provide any local dial-up connectionsâ - which was true) was good enough that he didnât bother arguing with me.
>
> .
Suckers
Just wait next month and see if you are still getting billed. Hereâs a hint - You will be. They are extremely agreeable the first time you ask to cancel and they say no problem.
Because they are lying like cheap rugs. They are no more going to stop billing you than the man in the moon. The pain free way is to cancel, then change your bank account number.
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