Repeated gifts you don't like--what to do?

[monstro]

@Turpentine

I have a husband, and he’s also my best friend. When he gives me a gift, I always say thank you and pretend to like it no matter what. He does the same. It’s not hard to tell whether or not he really likes it- his initial reaction shows me whether he really likes it or if he’s being polite. Also I can see for myself how often he actually uses the thing I gave him. I did give him some sriracha candy canes once, two years ago- they’re still in the pantry. Clearly he didn’t like them. It’s ok. I just won’t buy those again. However, my feelings definitely would have been hurt if upon presenting them he’d said “Oh um, I don’t know I’ll like these, honey…please give them to someone who’ll appreciate them.”

Well, yeah, that would be rude because it would be nice for your husband to at least try the candy before dismissing it. But that’s not completely analogous to the OP’s situation.

If you kept giving your husband sriracha candy even though it was clear he wasn’t into it, then I don’t think your husband would be rude to ask you to stop. And while I’m not going to say you would be “wrong” for having hurt feelings in this situation, I think it would be kinda strange to be that sensitive over such a trivial thing.

To sum up, I guess we both value being polite to eachother. And I can tell he tried when he gives me a gift, which is all that matters. On the other hand, he knows better than to try to buy me clothes, and I don’t attempt to pick out music for him.

If your husband kept buying you clothes that you hated, you don’t think you’d be able to tell him to stop without hurting his feelings? I guess I don’t see how you can be close to another person and not be honest about something like this.