# Replace your national anthem. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 15, 2011, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replace-your-national-anthem/606292 "2011-12-15T11:42:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replace-your-national-anthem/606292/1 "2011-12-15T11:42:43Z")
It’s been decided by the majority of the electorate that that your national anthem needs replacing - perhaps the words are too hard to remember, perhaps familiarity breeds contempt, whatever. The bad news is that you’ve been selected by government lottery (it’s like jury duty - you can’t get out of it) to select a new anthem to be sung forever more at sporting events. You can pick any tune you like from any year you like, no matter how silly. What do you pick? Britain’s national anthem, [God Save The Queen](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tN9EC3Gy6Nk), is a dreadful old plodding dirge that doesn’t even make much sense, as [Eddie Izzard](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9A8IcHJOeU) points out, the Queen lives in a big palace surrounded by armed guards - that’s one saved Queen. [Jerusalem](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKaJ4b0XYmI) is a popular choice, but it’s based on batshit-mad bullcrap about Jesus taking an excursion to Scarborough or some such nonsense. Every verse can be answered with a “…no.” No, those feet in ancient times did not tread upon England’s soil. Music is a bit better though. [Rule Britannia](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XPHL4Q86t4)…well, it’s a bit 19th Century, we don’t really rule the waves any more, so that’ll be a tad embarrassing. I quite like [I Vow to Thee, My Country](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MG27BKwjaI), because it’s based off Holst’s Jupiter, which is awesome. Either that or [Eton Rifles](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7bn4J9_DE8) by The Jam. For the US, James Brown’s [Living in America](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHqUipinDyw). Or [Crazy Crazy Nights](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kjNBd7sO6M) by Kiss. Now, because I hate you, [Cracked’s list](http://www.cracked.com/article_16735_6-national-anthems-that-will-make-you-tremble-with-fear.html) of national anthems that will make you tremble with fear, if you need some inspiration. Although they were remiss in forgetting the [USSR’s national anthem.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U06jlgpMtQs) Say what you like about Commies, they knew how to bash together a decent anthem. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replace-your-national-anthem/606292/2 "2011-12-15T11:52:22Z")
_God Bless the USA_–too many people, particularly young liberals, fail to appreciate what we have in this country, and what it costs to keep it. As an added bonus, it might well cause the heads of certain militant atheists to explode, and that would amuse me greatly. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replace-your-national-anthem/606292/3 "2011-12-15T12:04:28Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > _God Bless the USA_–too many people, particularly young liberals, fail to appreciate what we have in this country, and what it costs to keep it. As an added bonus, it might well cause the heads of certain militant atheists to explode, and that would amuse me greatly. The current anthem, The Star-Spangled Banner, already contains a reference to the G-man - so the shock value may be diminished somewhat: _Then conquer we must when our cause it is just And this be our motto: “In God is our Trust.” And the Star-Spangled Banner in triumph shall wave O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!_ (I can’t get done for posting lyrics if said lyrics were devised in 1814, right?) ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replace-your-national-anthem/606292/4 "2011-12-15T12:05:52Z")
I like some Woody Guthrie… This Land is your Land, This Land is My Land… or is that too “Godless, Homeless, 54 % Hippy” for your taste? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replace-your-national-anthem/606292/5 "2011-12-15T12:07:28Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#): > > The current anthem, The Star-Spangled Banner, already contains a reference to the G-man - so the shock value may be diminished somewhat: > _Then conquer we must when our cause it is just > And this be our motto: “In God is our Trust.” > And the Star-Spangled Banner in triumph shall wave > O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!_ > > (I can’t get done for posting lyrics if said lyrics were devised in 1814, right?) That verse is rarely sung. I’d expect many people don’t even know there are four verses…most public performances end after the first verse. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replace-your-national-anthem/606292/6 "2011-12-15T12:13:30Z")
**Mr Kobayashi** I can’t believe you didn’t include [Billy Connolly’s suggestion](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9nnnM-__JQ) (with apologies for 80s styles). ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replace-your-national-anthem/606292/7 "2011-12-15T12:13:53Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > That verse is rarely sung. I’d expect many people don’t even know there are four verses…most public performances end after the first verse. Ah, like that verse of God Save the Queen that talks about crushing rebellious Scots. Always fun. \*Lord, grant that Marshal Wade, May by thy mighty aid, Victory bring. May he sedition hush, and like a torrent rush, Rebellious Scots to crush, God save the King. \* (That one’s from 1745, so mods fear not) Edit, ha **jjimm** , nice simulpost - great minds think alike…particularly when concerned with rebellious Scots. ---
**Author:** ![Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hypnagogic_jerk/32/4252_2.png) [@Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypnagogic_Jerk)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replace-your-national-anthem/606292/8 "2011-12-15T14:28:05Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#): > > [Jerusalem](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKaJ4b0XYmI) is a popular choice, but it’s based on batshit-mad bullcrap about Jesus taking an excursion to Scarborough or some such nonsense. Emerson, Lake and Palmer’s version of _Jerusalem_ is my favourite national anthem. But yes, the lyrics are dated: at some point British Israelism was a quite popular belief, but not today, and it even has some unfortunate implications. I still like them, especially the references to bows of burning gold and chariots of fire. ---
**Author:** ![Paintcharge](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paintcharge/32/7946_2.png) [@Paintcharge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paintcharge)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replace-your-national-anthem/606292/9 "2011-12-15T14:37:03Z")
[Power and Glory.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9a4fFYAFfc) I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. “Yet she’s only as rich as the poorest of her poor Only as free as the padlocked prison door Only as strong as our love for this land Only as tall as we stand” ---
**Author:** ![Erdosain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/erdosain/32/7284_2.png) [@Erdosain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erdosain)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replace-your-national-anthem/606292/10 "2011-12-15T16:43:34Z")
I’m pretty sure the correct answer is [America, Fuck Yeah!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhnUgAaea4M) Trey Parker is ten times the songwriter than Scott Key ever was. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replace-your-national-anthem/606292/11 "2011-12-15T17:56:28Z")
The (former) theme to “Hockey Night in Canada”. ---
**Author:** ![well\_he\_s\_back](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3ab097/32.png) [@well\_he\_s\_back](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/well_he_s_back)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replace-your-national-anthem/606292/12 "2011-12-15T18:01:34Z")
I think “America the Beautiful” is already the unofficial U.S. anthem. most everyone I know prefers it to the SSB. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replace-your-national-anthem/606292/13 "2011-12-15T18:06:28Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#): > > It’s been decided by the majority of the electorate that that your national anthem needs replacing - perhaps the words are too hard to remember, perhaps familiarity breeds contempt, whatever. The bad news is that you’ve been selected by government lottery (it’s like jury duty - you can’t get out of it) to select a new anthem to be sung forever more at sporting events. You can pick any tune you like from any year you like, no matter how silly. > > What do you pick? > > Britain’s national anthem, [God Save The Queen](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tN9EC3Gy6Nk)… Over here in the US, we have our own patriotic song set to the same tune, namely My Country 'Tis of Thee. ---
**Author:** ![standingwave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@standingwave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/standingwave)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replace-your-national-anthem/606292/14 "2011-12-15T19:25:22Z")
> [@devilsknew](#): > > I like some Woody Guthrie… This Land is your Land, This Land is My Land… or is that too “Godless, Homeless, 54 % Hippy” for your taste? Well for those folks I suggest Toby Keith’s “[Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American)](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtesy_of_the_Red,_White,_%26_Blue_%28The_Angry_American%29).” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![MegaBee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@MegaBee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MegaBee)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replace-your-national-anthem/606292/15 "2011-12-15T19:52:44Z")
> [@Erdosain](#): > > I’m pretty sure the correct answer is [America, Fuck Yeah!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhnUgAaea4M) > > Trey Parker is ten times the songwriter than Scott Key ever was. I’m glad someone said it! ---
**Author:** ![LaurenIpsum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@LaurenIpsum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LaurenIpsum)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replace-your-national-anthem/606292/16 "2011-12-15T20:21:56Z")
Okay, I’ll go for the boring, non-funny answer. “America the Beautiful.” ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replace-your-national-anthem/606292/17 "2011-12-15T22:59:53Z")
> [@robert\_columbia](#): > > Over here in the US, we have our own patriotic song set to the same tune, namely My Country 'Tis of Thee. I’d rather have MCTOT than “America the Beautiful”. But “God Bless Our Native Land” is even better, and it goes to the same tune as MCTOT. ---
**Author:** ![Boulter\_s\_Canary](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Boulter\_s\_Canary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boulter_s_Canary)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replace-your-national-anthem/606292/18 "2011-12-15T23:08:48Z")
For England (as opposed to Britain) There are three I like: [In reality, far too long](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dV6xiU4XyoM) (and it is a sequel to another song anyway). [The most patriotic of my choices](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTwavrfsO44). I’d certainly stand for this (and maybe even put my hand over my heart.) as long as they get rid of that bloody awful child choir. [A slightly more Celtic-sounding take](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myHIwd2gVFM) (Well, Iain Anderson _is_ of Scottish descent, though he didn’t write this) Just thought of a fourth. [Prpbably a bit too PC,](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAHgw07M5vU)but an anthem you can dance to might not be a bad idea… ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replace-your-national-anthem/606292/19 "2011-12-15T23:34:48Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > The (former) theme to “Hockey Night in Canada”. Now [found](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMJWunuF1vU&feature=related)on TSN and RDS. Not only does everyone know it, it gets Canadians to stand up and CHEER! The brothers Ferguson also recommended _Louie, Louie_ in their book “How to be a Canadian, even if you already are one.” Hilarious book; though I loaned mine to my friend’s British boyfriend, who hasn’t given it back. Bastard. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replace-your-national-anthem/606292/20 "2011-12-15T23:46:37Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > _God Bless the USA_–too many people, particularly young liberals, fail to appreciate what we have in this country, and what it costs to keep it. As an added bonus, it might well cause the heads of certain militant atheists to explode, and that would amuse me greatly. That song’s the biggest pile of dung ever written, whether or not it has the word “God” in it. I’ve told the story on the boards before: when I was in basic training (Army), they showed us some moronic video that ended with that song. One of the drill sergeants asked if there was anybody there who didn’t like that song. I said I hated it. He replied, “Me too, private. What a piece of shit.” As I’ve also said on the boards: the U.S. national anthem should be “Rock Lobster”. Anything by Kiss would be just as bad as the current anthem (or “God Bless the USA”), and would only give other countries further ammo to call us uneducated dolts. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replace-your-national-anthem/606292.md?page=2)