# Replying "No problem" when someone asks a favor.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replying-no-problem-when-someone-asks-a-favor/821830>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [September 24, 2018, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replying-no-problem-when-someone-asks-a-favor/821830 "2018-09-24T13:42:54Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/channing_idaho_banks/32/250_2.png) [@Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Channing_Idaho_Banks)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2018, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replying-no-problem-when-someone-asks-a-favor/821830/62 "2018-09-25T17:37:59Z")

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> [@blob](#):
>
> This. It doesn’t cause me any angst. Personally, I find “my pleasure” to be ridiculous. You seriously get a kick out of doing additional things you wouldn’t otherwise have to do? What are you, some sort of masochist? Please master, let me scrub your floors, I could think of nothing I would enjoy more… 😃 But I’m not going to chuck a wobbly because of a perfectly innocuous idiom in common usage.
> 
> Some people don’t have enough to do.

> [@minor7flat5](#):
>
> Yes. If I can do something that makes a difference in another person’s situation while not inconveniencing me much, it makes me happy. No random floor scrubbing though, that would be silly.

It’s known as a courtesy. Maybe you’re pleased to still have your job. It doesn’t hurt to say and makes you sound nice.

It can also be used sarcastically and passive-aggressively. Now you’re a master.

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**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2018, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replying-no-problem-when-someone-asks-a-favor/821830/63 "2018-09-25T18:29:51Z")

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> [@Cheesesteak](#):
>
> I’m not a lover of “No problem”, but it does depend on the circumstance
> 
> I’m ordering a quadruple baconator meal with a 1L Frosty at Wendy’s. The person hands me my sack and I politely say “Thank you (for destroying my arteries)”. If they say “No problem” I bristle a bit inside. Assembling and handing sacks of unhealthy food to people is literally the only thing you are responsible for doing today. However, if I start to walk away and then turn around and say “Excuse me, can I have 5 packets of Ranch Dressing?” and you say “No problem” I have no problem with that. I’m now interrupting your normal flow of work, and you are letting me know that my ad hoc request shouldn’t be thought of as a problem.

In your first example they would _literally_ be agreeing with you. That’s what confuses me about idiots who get worked up over the phrase.

“‘No problem’!? How DARE you imply doing your JOB for me could be a problem!”

They’re directly telling you it’s NOT. (In addition to it being a fully inconsequential phrase, spoken without any deeper meaning beyond a audible response.)

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**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2018, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replying-no-problem-when-someone-asks-a-favor/821830/64 "2018-09-25T19:07:40Z")

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> [@garygnu](#):
>
> In your first example they would _literally_ be agreeing with you.

Sure, but is there a reason they think I should know for certain that doing their job is really no trouble at all? Intellectually I know that it’s spoken without an underlying motive, but deep in the recesses of my lizard brain I feel like I’m being informed of something, as if the subject was in doubt.

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**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2018, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replying-no-problem-when-someone-asks-a-favor/821830/65 "2018-09-25T19:07:40Z")

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> [@garygnu](#):
>
> In your first example they would _literally_ be agreeing with you. That’s what confuses me about idiots who get worked up over the phrase.  
> …

You quoted someone who said they “bristle a bit inside.” In your book, that qualifies them as an “idiot … get[ting] worked up”?

I’ll go a little further here, and suggest there is a generational disjunct WRT what is expected/desired in terms of customer service. Old fogeys over - say 40 - remember a time at which sales staff were generally expected to know their stock, not treat customers as unwelcome interruptions, etc. A generation raised on overnight on-line delivery might view such expectations as quaint - or idiocy. A member of a younger generation who - for whatever reasons - finds themselves employed in retail sales, may have no conceptual framework of service expectations that consistently existed for decades (centuries?) before.

If you think that in-store customer service has not declined as compared to 10-20 years ago, your experience is vastly different than mine - and many folk I’ve spoken with. I find it curious when people at a specific point in time view folk who recall and prefer previous norms as “idiots.”

Yeah - most grammar/usage Nazis are pains - and fighting a losing battle. Yes language changes - and the trend seems consistently towards the more informal. That doesn’t mean every person has to celebrate such developments in every situation/relationship. Nor does it make it ridiculous for employers to have standards regarding how their staff interact w/ customers, clients, vendors, etc.

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**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2018, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replying-no-problem-when-someone-asks-a-favor/821830/66 "2018-09-25T19:41:46Z")

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> [@Acsenray](#):
>
> I recall reading in one of those gender communication book (Tannen, perhaps?) that women generally don’t like to hear “no problem,” because it unnecessarily brings up the concept of the request being a problem and maybe also implies that the criteria for doing things for someone is whether or not it’s a problem. Instead of, say, “I do things for you because I love you.”

“Order 341 UP!”  
“Thanks.”  
“I do things for you because I love you.”

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**Author:** ![DrCube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a3d4f5/32.png) [@DrCube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrCube)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2018, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replying-no-problem-when-someone-asks-a-favor/821830/67 "2018-09-25T20:12:13Z")

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> [@Dinsdale](#):
>
> Many people acknowledge that at least some “old folks” dislike the term, perceiving an implication that they or their request might be perceived as a problem.

This baffles me. The phrase “no problem” explicitly declares that it is _not a problem_. It seems _extra_ polite to me in that you are absolving the other person of any guilt associated with putting you out. Whereas “you’re welcome” implies “sure, this may have been a problem for me, but you’re welcome to my labor anyway”.

I can only conclude that people who dislike the phrase – and let’s be honest, it seems almost entirely object to it from servants or assistants or people lower on the totem pole at that particular moment – _actively wanted_ to cause problems for you and resent that you threw a wrench in their plans by preemptively saying it wasn’t a problem.

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**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2018, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replying-no-problem-when-someone-asks-a-favor/821830/68 "2018-09-25T20:17:36Z")

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> [@Dinsdale](#):
>
> I’ll go a little further here, and suggest there is a generational disjunct WRT what is expected/desired in terms of customer service. Old fogeys over - say 40 - remember a time at which sales staff were generally expected to know their stock, not treat customers as unwelcome interruptions, etc. A generation raised on overnight on-line delivery might view such expectations as quaint - or idiocy. A member of a younger generation who - for whatever reasons - finds themselves employed in retail sales, may have no conceptual framework of service expectations that consistently existed for decades (centuries?) before.

I think of it differently. I suspect that ‘old fogeys’ expect “You’re welcome” because they see help as a gift that is offered. Meanwhile millenials and younger (due in no small part to the expectations of ‘old fogeys’) see help as an expectation that is required of them.

You know, as long as we’re making unsubstantiated insulting generalizations about large groups of people.

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**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2018, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replying-no-problem-when-someone-asks-a-favor/821830/69 "2018-09-25T20:36:34Z")

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> [@DrCube](#):
>
> This baffles me. The phrase “no problem” explicitly declares that it is _not a problem_. It seems _extra_ polite to me in that you are absolving the other person of any guilt associated with putting you out. Whereas “you’re welcome” implies “sure, this may have been a problem for me, but you’re welcome to my labor anyway”.
> 
> I can only conclude that people who dislike the phrase – and let’s be honest, it seems almost entirely object to it from servants or assistants or people lower on the totem pole at that particular moment – _actively wanted_ to cause problems for you and resent that you threw a wrench in their plans by preemptively saying it wasn’t a problem.

I doubt I can clear up your bafflement, but here goes.

When I am asking someone to simply perform a basic element of their job, I KNOW it isn’t a problem. I don’t need them to tell me that. Should they tell me any of the infinite OTHER things it might not be?

I feel no guilt which needs to be assuaged if I am simply asking someone to do their job reasonably competently.

Moreover, answering with a sentence fragment might be viewed as making the tone of the transaction more informal. Make no mistake, when you are in sales, you are in a service occupation. The customer ought to have every expectation that they can make reasonable requests of you. It is NOT an exchange between equals. Of course, this does not excuse customer rudeness. But is it related to my dislike of the “friendly” cashier, who wants to chat me up.

Perhaps one reason folk seem most displeased when this phrase is used by folk “lower on the totem pole” is that as a general rule more folk higher on the totem pole know enough to use better alternatives…

I love that you are refraining from calling folk who object to the phrase “idiots” - choosing instead to portray them as classist snobs! :dubious:

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**Author:** ![K364](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k364/32/5_2.png) [@K364](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/K364)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2018, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replying-no-problem-when-someone-asks-a-favor/821830/70 "2018-09-25T21:48:08Z")

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> [@pulykamell](#):
>
> What generation are you? I’m 43, and it’s perfectly natural here. Is it older or younger generations that find it negative?

I’m 20 years older than you.

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**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2018, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replying-no-problem-when-someone-asks-a-favor/821830/71 "2018-09-25T21:56:55Z")

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> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#):
>
> “Order 341 UP!”  
> “Thanks.”  
> “I do things for you because I love you.”

In the sentence quoted, “say,” is the equivalent of, “for example,” implying that the following example might not be appropriate for all circumstances.

On to the main topic, I myself use “no problem” a lot and it’s normal for me to hear other people say it.

However, I do understand what some people object to, and it’s related to this:

> [@Dinsdale](#):
>
> When I am asking someone to simply perform a basic element of their job, I KNOW it isn’t a problem. I don’t need them to tell me that. Should they tell me any of the infinite OTHER things it might not be?

Pretty much saying that it’s “no problem” implies that it _could have been_ a problem, and introducing that concept to the transaction or interaction at hand is irritating to some people.

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**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2018, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replying-no-problem-when-someone-asks-a-favor/821830/72 "2018-09-25T22:06:23Z")

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I honestly can’t get worked up about it.

If it is a response to “thank you” then it is slightly tone-deaf. That’s all. There are so many worse things that might be said, like “yeah, whatevs.”

If it is a response to me asking a favor (as in the OP) then it is on the positive side. I asked a favor but I didn’t create a problem. Yay me.

It seems to me that anyone who gets actually upset by this phrase doesn’t have enough to worry about in their life. They should watch a video on world hunger or abandoned pets or something.

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**Author:** ![WotNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@WotNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WotNot)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2018, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replying-no-problem-when-someone-asks-a-favor/821830/73 "2018-09-26T00:11:02Z")

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> [@Dinsdale](#):
>
> I doubt I can clear up your bafflement, but here goes.
> 
> When I am asking someone to simply perform a basic element of their job, I KNOW it isn’t a problem. I don’t need them to tell me that. Should they tell me any of the infinite OTHER things it might not be?
> 
> I feel no guilt which needs to be assuaged if I am simply asking someone to do their job reasonably competently.

So, “Obviously, that’s my job.” would be an acceptable response?

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**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2018, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replying-no-problem-when-someone-asks-a-favor/821830/74 "2018-09-26T00:32:51Z")

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> [@WotNot](#):
>
> So, “Obviously, that’s my job.” would be an acceptable response?

I’m guessing that a sarcastic or hostile response like that would be offensive in another way.

But I’m wondering what exactly you’re asking here. Can you not think of any other ways to respond?

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**Author:** ![blob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blob/32/489_2.png) [@blob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blob)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2018, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replying-no-problem-when-someone-asks-a-favor/821830/75 "2018-09-26T00:41:34Z")

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> [@Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](#):
>
> It’s known as a courtesy. Maybe you’re pleased to still have your job. It doesn’t hurt to say and makes you sound nice.

My point is that there is no need to analyse what an idiomatic phrase “really means”. This insane “people are all out to get me, I must jump on everything they do that doesn’t accord with what I think” is most peculiar. I don’t WANT to debate what a phrase implies to me, personally. IT DOES NOT MATTER. I don’t sit around thinking about what it “really means” and then getting angry because some sales assistant picked that idiom instead of another.

It reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where Kramer tries to get money from a bank when an employee didn’t say the “magic words” to him. IT DOES NOT MATTER. If somebody is behaving towards you in a respectful manner, their choice of the “wrong” (in your head) words DOES NOT MATTER.

Lighten up and get on with something THAT MATTERS.

When I learnt french, we had a language lab and would listen to tapes. The introduction would say “patterned response” and then you’d practise phrases. Bonjour, comment ca va? Tres bien, merci. It’s the same in real life. You say something, it is acknowledged and something said back. If somebody responds “shut your ugly face, you disgusting old hag” there’s an issue. Having to analyse what somebody says before you can get upset about them using an idiom that you’ve decided is “wrong” is just nuts. They could say pas de probleme or ca ne fait rien or whatever. They’ve acknowledged what you’ve said and it’s a normal interaction, there’s no reason to go crazy because you think the idiom means something that was not intended by the person who has parroted it off.

(Having said that, employers have an absolute right to direct their employees as to what they are to say when doing their jobs. If the boss doesn’t like a phrase and tells you not to, then you don’t.)

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**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2018, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replying-no-problem-when-someone-asks-a-favor/821830/76 "2018-09-26T01:55:48Z")

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> [@blob](#):
>
> …  
> (Having said that, employers have an absolute right to direct their employees as to what they are to say when doing their jobs. If the boss doesn’t like a phrase and tells you not to, then you don’t.)

Including symbolic speech, such as saluting the flag? 😉

Maybe not absolute, but pretty strong.

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**Author:** ![blob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blob/32/489_2.png) [@blob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blob)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2018, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replying-no-problem-when-someone-asks-a-favor/821830/77 "2018-09-26T03:00:25Z")

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> [@Dinsdale](#):
>
> Including symbolic speech, such as saluting the flag? 😉
> 
> Maybe not absolute, but pretty strong.

I don’t understand what you’re saying. Are you telling me that there are employers making employees salute the flag? If so, then no, they can’t direct that. What job involves saluting flags? Customer comes in, you turn around and salute a flag? No.

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**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2018, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replying-no-problem-when-someone-asks-a-favor/821830/78 "2018-09-26T03:24:28Z")

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> [@MrAtoz](#):
>
> Whenever I hear that you shouldn’t use “No problem” because it’s “negative,” I always wonder about all those other acknowledgements of “Thank you” that are also negative in their construction, such as:

It’s interesting to me. I am completely shocked that there are people who object to “no problem.” As I said before, I’ve never encountered this peeve, and it perplexes me. But the things you learn on the Dope.

However, going back to negative constructions, there are actually a few places I avoid negative constructions. When I write emails, I always edit “if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask” into the positive form. I’m not entirely sure why–it’s not something I’ve been taught, and that form doesn’t bug me or anything, but, I dunno, maybe I’m afraid somebody will stop reading after “don’t” or miss the complete phrase “don’t hesitate”? It’s not actually that, but there’s something a little more inviting to me phrasing it as “if you have any questions, please ask” vs “don’t hesitate to ask.” Might be just a personal quirk. Like I said, I don’t mind the “don’t hesitate construction” and my speech is often filled with litotes that negate negatives, but in carefully controlled communication, I’ll edit it to avoid the negatives.

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**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2018, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replying-no-problem-when-someone-asks-a-favor/821830/79 "2018-09-26T08:24:11Z")

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“No problem” doesn’t irritate me, but it seems kind of absurd at times:

“Hey, thanks for carrying that big, leaky box full of toxic chemicals!”  
“No problem.”

Yeah, pretty sure that was a problem.

I tend to say either “Happy to help!” if I was or “Glad that helped” if I wasn’t.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2018, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replying-no-problem-when-someone-asks-a-favor/821830/80 "2018-09-26T12:12:18Z")

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> [@blob](#):
>
> I don’t understand what you’re saying. Are you telling me that there are employers making employees salute the flag? If so, then no, they can’t direct that. What job involves saluting flags? Customer comes in, you turn around and salute a flag? No.

Apologies - didn’t note your location. Up here we’ve been having a bit of a kerfluffle regarding the degree of respect American footballers ought to exhibit during a (recently sponsored) patriotic display. 😉 Meant it as a humorous aside to the ongoing discussion.

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**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2018, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replying-no-problem-when-someone-asks-a-favor/821830/81 "2018-09-26T12:41:29Z")

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Another old fogey with no problem with “no problem”. I don’t think there’s a generational thing going on.

To me, some people are just overthinking what other people say.

I tell someone “Nice car.” and some folk go into “What did he mean by that? Is it sarcastic?” and on and on. No. I meant “Nice car.” That’s it.

Don’t overthink language. Don’t worry about. It’s no problem.

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