# Reposting Peter Kay's facts of life.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reposting-peter-kays-facts-of-life/465918>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [September 30, 2008, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reposting-peter-kays-facts-of-life/465918 "2008-09-30T20:39:31Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\
**Post date:** [September 30, 2008, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reposting-peter-kays-facts-of-life/465918/1 "2008-09-30T20:39:31Z")

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I’ve posted these before but that was a while ago.

> [@](#):
>
> Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
> 
> At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
> 
> One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
> 
> You’re never quite sure whether it’s ok to eat green crisps.
> 
> Everyone who grew up in the 80’s has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
> 
> Reading when you’re drunk is horrible.
> 
> Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
> 
> You’re never quite sure whether it’s against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
> 
> Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
> 
> You never know where to look when eating a banana.
> 
> Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
> 
> Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
> 
> Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
> 
> You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
> 
> Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
> 
> The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
> 
> The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
> 
> Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
> 
> Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
> 
> Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
> 
> Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
> 
> Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
> 
> You never ever run out of salt.
> 
> Old ladies can eat more than you think.
> 
> You can’t respect a man who carries a dog.
> 
> There’s no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you’ve got your hand or head stuck in something.
> 
> No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
> 
> Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
> 
> The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
> 
> People who don’t drive slam car doors too hard
> 
> You’ve turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
> 
> Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
> 
> Bricks are horrible to carry.
> 
> In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

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**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\
**Post date:** [September 30, 2008, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reposting-peter-kays-facts-of-life/465918/2 "2008-09-30T21:58:05Z")

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Despite the overt Britishisms, most of these are accurate for me. I’m not sure what the swan and banana ones are about though.

Wet cat **is** describable. It smells exactly like wet cat, a valid description in itself.

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**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\
**Post date:** [September 30, 2008, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reposting-peter-kays-facts-of-life/465918/3 "2008-09-30T22:01:03Z")

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> [@thelurkinghorror](#):
>
> Despite the overt Britishisms, most of these are accurate for me. I’m not sure what the swan and banana ones are about though.
> 
> Wet cat **is** describable. It smells exactly like wet cat, a valid description in itself.

Well I don’t like bananas, but I guess it is about putting something roughly the shape of your dangly bits into your mouth feeling dirty.

And the swan thing comes from an old wives tale - don’t go near a swan or it’ll break your leg.

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**Author:** ![schnuckiputzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecb155/32.png) [@schnuckiputzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/schnuckiputzi)\
**Post date:** [September 30, 2008, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reposting-peter-kays-facts-of-life/465918/4 "2008-09-30T22:33:42Z")

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Well, I don’t live anywhere near a swan, but one of my geese broke my wrist. Never try to check a goose’s eggs when she doesn’t want you to. I mean, the eggs she’s sitting on…trying to hatch them. never mind.