# Republican candidates compete for nomination in combat.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republican-candidates-compete-for-nomination-in-combat/727162
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [August 6, 2015, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republican-candidates-compete-for-nomination-in-combat/727162 "2015-08-06T15:52:10Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2015, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republican-candidates-compete-for-nomination-in-combat/727162/1 "2015-08-06T15:52:10Z")
Let’s say mixed martial arts style hand to hand combat, no weapons.
I say Rick Perry wins. He seems to be kind of tall and muscular. Probably has good reach.
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### Author:  [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2015, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republican-candidates-compete-for-nomination-in-combat/727162/2 "2015-08-06T16:45:16Z")
Perry is 65 years old as compared to Rubio’s 44. I think those 20 years are going to make the difference so I’d put my money on Rubio.
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### Author:  [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2015, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republican-candidates-compete-for-nomination-in-combat/727162/3 "2015-08-06T16:53:21Z")
No weapons? You must be a Second Amendment hater. What would Cruz do without his machine gun? Give them all weapons - it would improve the level of political discourse in the US by a lot.
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2015, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republican-candidates-compete-for-nomination-in-combat/727162/4 "2015-08-06T17:08:18Z")
Christie looks like he could take a punch. I know a few people from Jersey who’d love to find out if that’s the case.
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### Author:  [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2015, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republican-candidates-compete-for-nomination-in-combat/727162/5 "2015-08-06T17:21:44Z")
Old men and cowards. Maybe Graham, who served in the Air Force and was a military reservist. Maybe Christie, if he could end it quick – fat guys are pretty strong.
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### Author:  [@Richard\_Parker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Parker)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2015, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republican-candidates-compete-for-nomination-in-combat/727162/6 "2015-08-06T17:30:35Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#):
>
> Old men and cowards. Maybe Graham, who served in the Air Force and was a military reservist. Maybe Christie, if he could end it quick – fat guys are pretty strong.
Perry has 6" and probably 30 pounds on Graham. That’s pretty hard to overcome, regardless of background.
I’d say it’s probably Perry v. Christie. Do either of them have any relevant training?
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### Author:  [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2015, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republican-candidates-compete-for-nomination-in-combat/727162/7 "2015-08-06T17:30:57Z")
First of all, in terms of reach, Pataki’s going to have the best reach of any of the candidates. I agree that Christie looks like he can take a punch.
In terms of who I think would win, I think it’s short-sighted to simply look at their athleticism. The question is who is crazy enough to keep throwing punches regardless of how desperately they’re losing. By that criteria, I think the top contenders would be Paul, Cruz, and Christie.
In response to the OP, I think Perry does look the most athletic of the bunch, and would likely win a contest that was strictly in terms of athleticism. But I suspect that his defense isn’t nearly as good as his offense.
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### Author:  [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2015, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republican-candidates-compete-for-nomination-in-combat/727162/8 "2015-08-06T17:31:58Z")
> [@Buck\_Godot](#):
>
> Perry is 65 years old as compared to Rubio’s 44. I think those 20 years are going to make the difference so I’d put my money on Rubio.
Remember, it was Perry who started it, suggesting a pull-up match between himself and Trump. OP’s suggestion is simply the logical extension of that!
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### Author:  [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2015, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republican-candidates-compete-for-nomination-in-combat/727162/9 "2015-08-06T17:33:08Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#):
>
> Old men and cowards. Maybe Graham, who served in the Air Force and was a military reservist. Maybe Christie, if he could end it quick – fat guys are pretty strong.
[About that …](https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/for-lindsey-graham-years-of-light-duty-as-a-lawmaker-in-the-air-reserve/2015/08/02/c9beb9fc-3545-11e5-adf6-7227f3b7b338_story.html)
> [@](#):
>
> During his first decade in Congress, the Air Force promoted Graham twice even though documents in his military personnel file reveal that he did little or no work. Later, the Pentagon gave the military lawyer a job assignment in the Air Force Reserve that he highlighted in his biography for several years but never performed.
> …
>
> According to his personnel file, between January 1995 and January 2005 he received credit for a total of 108 hours of training — the equivalent of less than a day and a half per year.
>
> During that span, however, the Air Force kept awarding him promotions. In 1998, he attained the rank of lieutenant colonel in the Judge Advocate General’s Corps. Six years later, he was promoted to colonel by President George W. Bush.
> …
>
> From 2006 until the start of this year, Graham’s official biographies stated that he worked as a senior instructor at the Judge Advocate General’s School at Maxwell Air Force Base in Montgomery, Ala., the training hub for the service’s legal corps. That description has been cited in virtually all news coverage of Graham’s military career.
>
> In fact, Air Force officials said they had no record of Graham teaching any courses on behalf of the school or even visiting it during that period.
My favorite part is this:
> [@](#):
>
> In 1998, he received criticism for indicating he had served in the Persian Gulf War, referring to himself in his Senate biography as “an Operation Desert Storm and Desert Shield veteran.”
>
> Although Graham was called to active duty with the National Guard, he was never deployed overseas during that conflict. He stayed in South Carolina, where he prepared wills for those going into combat.
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### Author:  [@AllShookDown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AllShookDown)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2015, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republican-candidates-compete-for-nomination-in-combat/727162/10 "2015-08-06T17:46:17Z")
Well, it won’t be Walker who ran away from school teachers via the tunnel.
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### Author:  [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2015, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republican-candidates-compete-for-nomination-in-combat/727162/11 "2015-08-06T17:54:29Z")
I’m assuming Trump will take a page out of Ted DiBiase’s playbook and try to offer the other candidates wads of cash to lie down for him.
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### Author:  [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2015, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republican-candidates-compete-for-nomination-in-combat/727162/12 "2015-08-06T18:09:10Z")
It depends on which Ron Paul shows up. If it’s Pinocchio Ron Paul, he’s no threat to anyone but a hair curler.
If it’s Magneto Ron Paul, then all bets are off.
> [@Ethilrist](#):
>
> Christie looks like he could take a punch. I know a few people from Jersey who’d love to find out if that’s the case.
His is a face many would love to shake hands with.
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### Author:  [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2015, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republican-candidates-compete-for-nomination-in-combat/727162/13 "2015-08-06T20:37:39Z")
> [@Richard\_Parker](#):
>
> Perry has 6" and probably 30 pounds on Graham. That’s pretty hard to overcome, regardless of background.
>
> I’d say it’s probably Perry v. Christie. Do either of them have any relevant training?
I forgot about Christie. He’s big and with his personality has probably been in a few fights. Perry has been in the military, probably has some training. He may be in his sixties but I’ve known a couple guys that age that had some fight left in them so I’m sticking with him. Those glasses give him a Clark Kent-ish look so maybe there’s a Superman lurking in there.
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### Author:  [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2015, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republican-candidates-compete-for-nomination-in-combat/727162/14 "2015-08-06T20:39:46Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#):
>
> It depends on which Ron Paul shows up. If it’s Pinocchio Ron Paul, he’s no threat to anyone but a hair curler.
>
> If it’s Magneto Ron Paul, then all bets are off.
>
> His is a face many would love to shake hands with.
I assume you mean Rand Paul. Maybe his hair vs. Trump’s hair could be the undercard match.
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### Author:  [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2015, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republican-candidates-compete-for-nomination-in-combat/727162/15 "2015-08-06T20:49:02Z")
Poor Paul Ryan peaked four years too early - I’d put money on him to come away with a clean win in this kind of contest.
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2015, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republican-candidates-compete-for-nomination-in-combat/727162/16 "2015-08-06T20:54:46Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#):
>
> Christie looks like he could take a punch.
He also looks like he’s one sharp, loud noise away from a coronary.
I’m backing Perry in this one.
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### Author:  [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2015, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republican-candidates-compete-for-nomination-in-combat/727162/17 "2015-08-06T20:57:08Z")
I think [Carly Fiorina](http://www.slate.com/content/dam/slate/articles/podcasts/gist/2015/05/150504-thegist-carly.jpg.CROP.promo-mediumlarge.jpg) showed her stuff off pretty well in the movie [Red](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/e1/04/43/e10443ddfa881362a2de45dc6f34e70c.jpg).
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### Author:  [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2015, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republican-candidates-compete-for-nomination-in-combat/727162/18 "2015-08-06T21:07:22Z")
> [@Enginerd](#):
>
> Poor Paul Ryan peaked four years too early - I’d put money on him to come away with a clean win in this kind of contest.
Paul Ryan was very fit, for sure.
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### Author:  [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2015, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republican-candidates-compete-for-nomination-in-combat/727162/19 "2015-08-06T21:31:12Z")
If that stupid naturalized citizen rule didn’t apply Arnold would take them all out.
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### Author:  [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2015, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republican-candidates-compete-for-nomination-in-combat/727162/20 "2015-08-06T21:45:54Z")
> [@Buck\_Godot](#):
>
> Perry is 65 years old as compared to Rubio’s 44. I think those 20 years are going to make the difference so I’d put my money on Rubio.
I had a neighbor that was probably 65 at least. I think he was an alchoholic and to hear him tell it, a longtime barroom brawler. He was big and short tempered. He told me “I can’t last as long as I used to so I gotta get it over quick.” He had me convinced and I would have been extremely reluctant to tangle with him. That was when I was about 30.
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