# Republicans:  damn y'all some ugly motherfuckers...

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republicans-damn-yall-some-ugly-motherfuckers/41796>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [November 19, 2000, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republicans-damn-yall-some-ugly-motherfuckers/41796 "2000-11-19T01:38:45Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![hapaXL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/94ad74/32.png) [@hapaXL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hapaXL)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republicans-damn-yall-some-ugly-motherfuckers/41796/1 "2000-11-19T01:38:45Z")

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this isn’t really going to be a political discussion.

but when i’m flipping channels at hyper-speed, it always happens like this:

25, nothin  
26, nothin  
27, nothin  
28, noth-  
29 EERRRRRRRRRCH! pump your brakes. holy jesus! that is one scary looking white guy (or woman)! what the fuck is wrong with him? looks like he got dropped on his face as a baby. then maybe it happened again in his teen years. and i don’t know what’s been going on for the last couple of weeks of his life, but this person looks sick. pasty. alternately puffy and wrinkled in strange places. and his haircut is jacked as well–you figure with a face like that, he’d pay more attention to what is actually under his control.

i turn to my girlfriend and say, this guy must be a Republican.

seconds later, the CSPAN caption comes up: Dick Jones, Heritage Foundation.

ding ding ding ding! correct once again! my theory holds true.

i’m not going to say everybody, but from my experience, the VAST majority of Republicans are not attractive people. and that party might have exclusive rights to the most hideously disfigured players in the American political scene (perhaps Madeline Albright was an unreserved free agent or something).

by the way, this also works when flipping into the middle of an episode of Politically Incorrect. generally, they have one conservative on (out of 4 guests) and i have never failed to pick them out (even though Bill Maher likes to get young Republican women on, usually their bad fashion sense gives them away).

so somebody, ANYBODY…please end this fucking election nightmare just so i don’t have to see these monstrosities any more on my TV screen!

and to my Republican friends out there, please consider birth control. cause your kids are heinous as well.

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**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republicans-damn-yall-some-ugly-motherfuckers/41796/2 "2000-11-19T01:44:37Z")

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Don’t ugly people have rights, too? ☹

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**Author:** ![zigaretten](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/91b2a8/32.png) [@zigaretten](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zigaretten)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republicans-damn-yall-some-ugly-motherfuckers/41796/3 "2000-11-19T02:40:08Z")

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And where does James Carville fit into this?

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**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republicans-damn-yall-some-ugly-motherfuckers/41796/4 "2000-11-19T04:37:18Z")

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One of the rumors running around the '88 Presidential campaign was that hordes of women were hoping Dan Quayle would take his shirt off. 🙂

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**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republicans-damn-yall-some-ugly-motherfuckers/41796/5 "2000-11-19T05:35:56Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by zigaretten \*  
> \*\*And where does James Carville fit into this? \*\*

My pocket. I think James Carville is adorable, in a Deliverance kind of way. His accent kills me.

stoid

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**Author:** ![djf750](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@djf750](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djf750)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republicans-damn-yall-some-ugly-motherfuckers/41796/6 "2000-11-19T05:53:24Z")

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have you seen ted kennedy lately? good god

or that new senator from new york?

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**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republicans-damn-yall-some-ugly-motherfuckers/41796/7 "2000-11-19T06:24:08Z")

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This is the BEST we can do? “Your party is uglier than my party.”

Stellar.

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**Author:** ![Lux\_Fiat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Lux\_Fiat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lux_Fiat)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republicans-damn-yall-some-ugly-motherfuckers/41796/8 "2000-11-19T07:26:07Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> This is the BEST we can do? “Your party is uglier than my party.”

Well, shit, that’s probably the only distinguishing feature left.

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**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republicans-damn-yall-some-ugly-motherfuckers/41796/9 "2000-11-19T07:45:45Z")

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We haven’t learned how to reach the “my party fucked your party’s mother” level yet. Sorry.

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**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republicans-damn-yall-some-ugly-motherfuckers/41796/10 "2000-11-19T08:23:18Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> We haven’t learned how to reach the “my party fucked your party’s mother” level yet. Sorry.

Yeah, or even the “your party can lick my bag” level. hmmph

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**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republicans-damn-yall-some-ugly-motherfuckers/41796/11 "2000-11-19T10:40:58Z")

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Well, y’know, just about every notable figure on either side is butt-ugly. Perhaps they got picked on as a kid, and they went into Politics to get revenge? That would explain that whole Florida thing…

Bully: “Gimme your lunch money, you ugly twerp!”

Future Politician: “I’ll get back at you someday! I’ll annoy you with a long, drawn-out series of whinings and complainings after a Presidential election!”

Bully: “Haw-haw!”

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**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republicans-damn-yall-some-ugly-motherfuckers/41796/12 "2000-11-19T12:40:50Z")

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Gary Bauer  
Tommy Thompson.  
excuse me while I go scrub my brain.

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**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republicans-damn-yall-some-ugly-motherfuckers/41796/13 "2000-11-19T17:15:04Z")

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I think anyone who makes sweeping generalizations is a complete ass.

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**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republicans-damn-yall-some-ugly-motherfuckers/41796/14 "2000-11-19T17:17:31Z")

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And yes, I’m aware that the above is a sweeping generalization, but I exclude myself.

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**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republicans-damn-yall-some-ugly-motherfuckers/41796/15 "2000-11-19T17:21:07Z")

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**hapaXL** said:

> [@](#):
>
> and to my Republican friends out there, please consider birth control. cause your kids are heinous as well.

Better ugly than stupid, so remember to get your Democrats spayed or neutered.

**SPOOFE Bo Diddly** said:

> [@](#):
>
> Well, y’know, just about every notable figure on either side is butt-ugly. Perhaps they got picked on as a kid, and they went into Politics to get revenge?

I once knew a college student government type who said exactly this. His view was, fine, you weren’t nice to me in high school, so now I’m gonna get into power and raise your taxes in retailiation. Politics as Revenge of the Nerds.

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**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republicans-damn-yall-some-ugly-motherfuckers/41796/16 "2000-11-19T17:36:12Z")

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The Left is always more attractive. Marxists get crazy laid. 😉

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**Author:** ![Lux\_Fiat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Lux\_Fiat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lux_Fiat)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republicans-damn-yall-some-ugly-motherfuckers/41796/17 "2000-11-19T18:33:13Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Marxists get crazy laid.

And capitalists get crazy paid, which is almost as good. Remember, children, money can’t buy love, but when you go out looking for love, it helps to be driving a Jaguar.

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**Author:** ![Jello](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f05b48/32.png) [@Jello](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jello)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republicans-damn-yall-some-ugly-motherfuckers/41796/18 "2000-11-19T18:51:07Z")

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Phil Gramm, the ugly Republican senator from Texas, said that politics was show-business for ugly people. He also wondered out loud if “someone as ugly as I am can get elected President.”

At least they’re conscious of their ugliness.

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**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republicans-damn-yall-some-ugly-motherfuckers/41796/19 "2000-11-19T18:51:12Z")

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Wait, you’re saying Republicans are ugly? Not so fast there, boy, you guys got Janet Reno. \<shudder\>

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**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/republicans-damn-yall-some-ugly-motherfuckers/41796/20 "2000-11-19T22:59:03Z")

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I’ve been called republican (Although I plan to be registered as an independent come next election). I haven’t heard many females calling _me_ ugly. Maybe It happens the first time you vote republican…

By the way, democrats aren’t exactly that well off either (Good examples of ugly democrats have already been given), But I’ll be damned if politicians aren’t the ugliest bunch in the world.

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