# Request for new smilie **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 11, 2002, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/request-for-new-smilie/108564 "2002-05-11T20:22:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2002, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/request-for-new-smilie/108564/21 "2002-05-13T14:55:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tshirts \* > And _now_ after you’ve made me spend hours rebuilding the smilies to shave 1 or 2 pixels and remove a harmless twinkle from a halo you have the nerve to add a new revelation “We don’t intend on adding all of them, only one at a time at periodic intervals”. Sorry for the confusion. I did mention in the original thread that we were not going to add all of the proposals, but have a vote. I also posted in there, when someone asked for clarification, that we were only adding one. I suppose I should have been more clear upfront. > [@](#): > > If you’d said that in the first place, it would have saved a lot of time. My apologies. > [@](#): > > Don’t put any of mine on your voting list. I will remove your proposals from the voting list. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2002, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/request-for-new-smilie/108564/22 "2002-05-13T15:23:18Z")
> [@](#): > > It can only prance, it can do nothing else. Well _that_’s not much of a trick, **Coldy**. Oh, right. FWIW, **Arnold** , I found your posts on the matter to be reasonable, explicit, and polite. I, at any rate, found nothing you’ve said to be as unreasonable as **tshirt** seems to have. But then, I don’t have an emotional investment in it, either. I’d like to think I have better things to do with my time. Like for example, I’m about to go for a walk with my son. Kinda puts all the silly bullshit into perspective. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2002, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/request-for-new-smilie/108564/23 "2002-05-13T17:50:01Z")
Oh come on andros, what kind of a Pit post is that? 😛 We need gasoline on the flames, not water. P.S. Thank you for your support. P.P.S. When I said “we need gasoline on the flames”, I was **only kidding!** P.P.P.S. Or was I? 😉 I think we can agree that tshirts has put more time into the smilies than most of us, which would explain why he has stronger feelings on the subject. But there was no intention to mislead anyone about the number of smilies that we were going to add after the first poll. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2002, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/request-for-new-smilie/108564/24 "2002-05-13T18:42:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by flowbark \* > Let me make a recommendation concerning emoticons: … flowbark, I took the liberty of quoting you in this [IMHO thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=114883) discussing our current smiley submissions. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2002, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/request-for-new-smilie/108564/25 "2002-05-13T22:51:30Z")
tshirts: Not to beat the subject to death, but I checked the [ATMB thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=114395) to verify my recollection that I thought you knew about the “one smiley at a time” proposal. I see there that I posted > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Arnold Winkelried_ > White Lightning - the idea is not to add a whole bunch of smilies at once, but one at a time at periodic intervals. Since we’re only adding one smiley there will be no fear of duplicates. > > tshirts - … E-mail me the ones you want to submit for the poll. **before** you replied to my post, in the same thread, saying > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by tshirts_ > I will email everything that doesn’t blink and fits the correct size constraints. So I think it’s unfair to say, as you did in this thread > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by tshirts_ > That’s what you do when you cut the number of submissions after asking for them, and setting the number permitted below the number already suggested! And now after you’ve made me spend hours rebuilding the smilies to shave 1 or 2 pixels and remove a harmless twinkle from a halo you have the nerve to add a new revelation “We don’t intend on adding all of them, only one at a time at periodic intervals”. The misunderstanding is regrettable but I don’t think the fault can be lain solely at my door. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/request-for-new-smilie/108564/26 "2002-05-14T00:19:19Z")
. . . What was the middle part again? About the gasoline? ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/request-for-new-smilie/108564/27 "2002-05-14T02:33:35Z")
I have a modest request. I’d like an animated smilie that, when applied to your post, invades other peoples’ posts, and takes their smilies hostage in a popup window, with an adjustable countdown timer, and a deadline that can be set. When the countdown timer is set, an e-mail is sent to every smilie-poster in the thread. The message reads simply: _“Your smilie has been abducted and is being held in a safe place. If you do not electronically transfer one dollar to the bank account specified in the attached file, your smilies will be killed.”_ But see, there’s an extra feature–and this is where it gets a little bit complicated, but I’m pretty sure it’s all permissable by law–where the attached file is really a trojan horse that records social security numbers, telephone numbers, e-mail lists, credit card numbers, and passwords. All that data is sent along to the specified account along with the electronic transfer, which automatically adjusts the transfer to just fit within the vict–, um, poster’s credit limit. At the same time, the smilie automatically makes reservations at my local airports on a number of flights leading out to various worldwide destinations which have particular banking and extradition laws. The smilie would also arrange for a four-star hotel at each of said destinations, along with a generous quantity of the local spirits and hired escorts. And cigars. It’s gotta order some cigars, too. Naturally, the use of this animated smilie would be limited in its application to a few select individuals at first, for testing purposes. Since I am the originator of the idea, I will naturally need to be one of the initial testers, along with perhaps one or more of this board’s administrators, and, if they really must be included, perhaps the moderators as well. It’s a rather innovative idea, and I don’t want to overburden the ah, servers with too much initial traffic, eh? And, um, let’s keep this sort of quiet for now, right? [mods: please insert proposed smilie here] ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/request-for-new-smilie/108564/28 "2002-05-14T03:28:55Z")
**Sofa** , I can;t in good conscience allow you to beta test something that might be dangerous to or incompatible with your computer system. I can take the hit for the team. My computer isn’t all that great anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2002, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/request-for-new-smilie/108564/29 "2002-05-15T16:38:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sofa King \* > But see, there’s an extra feature–and this is where it gets a little bit complicated, but I’m pretty sure it’s all permissable by law– IANAL, but I’m pretty sure it’s **not** legal. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2002, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/request-for-new-smilie/108564/30 "2002-05-16T19:38:21Z")
You guys having a discussion on how to break the law? Ain’t that verboten here? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2002, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/request-for-new-smilie/108564/31 "2002-05-16T20:37:09Z")
It’s absolutely verboten, **Uncle Beer** , and I expect no more discussion of **Sofa King** ’s smiley. At least until we talk about certain cuts of the profits. ---
**Author:** ![tshirts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@tshirts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tshirts)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2002, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/request-for-new-smilie/108564/32 "2002-05-17T02:15:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sofa King \* > \*\*I have a modest request. > > I’d like an animated smilie that, when applied to your post, invades other peoples’ posts, and takes their smilies hostage in a popup window, with an adjustable countdown timer, and a deadline that can be set. > > When the countdown timer is set, an e-mail is sent to every smilie-poster in the thread. The message reads simply: > > _“Your smilie has been abducted and is being held in a safe place. If you do not electronically transfer one dollar to the bank account specified in the attached file, your smilies will be killed.”_ > > But see, there’s an extra feature–and this is where it gets a little bit complicated, but I’m pretty sure it’s all permissable by law–where the attached file is really a trojan horse that records social security numbers, telephone numbers, e-mail lists, credit card numbers, and passwords. All that data is sent along to the specified account along with the electronic transfer, which automatically adjusts the transfer to just fit within the vict–, um, poster’s credit limit. > > At the same time, the smilie automatically makes reservations at my local airports on a number of flights leading out to various worldwide destinations which have particular banking and extradition laws. The smilie would also arrange for a four-star hotel at each of said destinations, along with a generous quantity of the local spirits and hired escorts. And cigars. It’s gotta order some cigars, too. > > Naturally, the use of this animated smilie would be limited in its application to a few select individuals at first, for testing purposes. Since I am the originator of the idea, I will naturally need to be one of the initial testers, along with perhaps one or more of this board’s administrators, and, if they really must be included, perhaps the moderators as well. > > It’s a rather innovative idea, and I don’t want to overburden the ah, servers with too much initial traffic, eh? And, um, let’s keep this sort of quiet for now, right? > > [mods: please insert proposed smilie here] \*\* This request is not as unusual as you might suppose. In fact, I saw a similar request on the Hot Jobs listings just last week from the Sultan of Brunei’s Chief Plenipotentate Of Message Boards. He claimed it was just for insurance purposes, and would only be used if their “20 year oil reserves” he had calculated for the Sultan were actually consumed in 19 years and he had to flee. The only problem, for those who might be inclined to make a bid for the work, is that he’s paying in oil, and it is Freight On Board Brunei. ---
**Author:** ![tshirts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@tshirts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tshirts)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2002, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/request-for-new-smilie/108564/33 "2002-05-17T02:26:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arnold Winkelried \* > \*\*The misunderstanding is regrettable but I don’t think the fault can be lain solely at my door. \*\* That’s Ok. If you’re willing to take any of the misunderstanding at all, then I’ll take the rest of it. I was probably just remembering things out of time order. At least there’s now a name for it: Having a Senior Moment. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/request-for-new-smilie/108564.md?page=1)