# Resolved: Bicycles are un-American **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 6, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434 "2010-08-06T18:17:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/1 "2010-08-06T18:17:17Z")
Bicyclists are infantile. They are not fit participants in a free society. They are nuts, hippies and wimps. They are far more selfish than their carbon footprint or their effects on traffic patterns would suggest. Yes, cars are dangerous, dirty, wasteful and expensive. So is life as a responsible adult. Fulfill your manifest destiny and drive a goddam car. If you do bike, at least do society the favor of not wearing a helmet. The more of you are dead, or at least brain-dead, the better for the American way of life. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/2 "2010-08-06T18:20:01Z")
You were delayed by an infinitesimal amount of time , weren’t you? ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/3 "2010-08-06T18:23:19Z")
ffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuu ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/4 "2010-08-06T18:29:13Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > You were delayed by an infinitesimal amount of time , weren’t you? Suck my big, hard status quo, lycra-pants. ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/5 "2010-08-06T18:30:35Z")
Nice ‘free society’ you got going there. ---
**Author:** ![Ichbin\_Dubist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ichbin\_Dubist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichbin_Dubist)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/6 "2010-08-06T18:30:50Z")
Just out of curiosity, what percentage of your free time do you spend playing games? ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/7 "2010-08-06T18:32:15Z")
Yanno, I’m pissed at about 30% of the bikers I see these days: They don’t signal, don’t obey traffic laws, or are racing pell-mell down the sidewalk. Or worse are riding at night, while wearing dark clothing, weaving from one side of a major avenue to the other - and back again. Where we differ, OP, is that I can recognize that those assholes are only a fraction of the bicyclists out there. Most of the ones I see do obey traffic laws, are aware of the world around them, and no more included to cause problems than any other sane member of society. Advocate improved enforcement of traffic laws upon bicyclists, and I’ll be with you 100%. This whiny bullshit throwing a cubic meter of fecal matter over all bicyclists because someone pissed in your Wheaties is not that. All you deserve for this nonsense is a round mocking. I am sure you’re going to get it, too. ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/8 "2010-08-06T18:32:31Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > > [@runner pat](#): > > > > You were delayed by an infinitesimal amount of time , weren’t you? > > Suck my big, hard status quo, lycra-pants. Hmm, I’m having trouble here - BMW driver or 4x4 truck driver? Both tend to be assholes. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/9 "2010-08-06T18:33:38Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > > [@runner pat](#): > > > > You were delayed by an infinitesimal amount of time , weren’t you? > > Suck my big, hard status quo, lycra-pants. I’ll bet I look better in them than you, cager. You probably don’t know this but bicycles are legally vehicles and just as entitled to their share of the road as you are. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/10 "2010-08-06T18:39:50Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > You probably don’t know this but bicycles are legally vehicles and just as entitled to their share of the road as you are. While that’s true enough, it would be nice if bicycle riders that I had just succeeded in passing didn’t come up to me at the stoplight, pass me on the right, and pull in front of me again. I don’t know why we have to have this “discussion” again. Some drivers are assholes; some cyclists are assholes. Seems pretty simple to me. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/11 "2010-08-06T18:41:20Z")
> [@OtakuLoki](#): > > Advocate improved enforcement of traffic laws upon bicyclists, and I’ll be with you 100%. This is really the heart of the matter. There are a small number of cyclists who cannot comprehend the fact that they are required to obey traffic laws. The fact that (at least around here) the police do almost nothing to enforce the law WRT cyclists only reinforces their view. ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/12 "2010-08-06T18:43:25Z")
A wacko conservative nutjob seems to [agree with you.](http://www.denverpost.com/election2010/ci_15673894) Way to go. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/13 "2010-08-06T18:50:33Z")
> [@OtakuLoki](#): > > Yanno, I’m pissed at about 30% of the bikers I see these days: They don’t signal, don’t obey traffic laws, or are racing pell-mell down the sidewalk. Pedestrians and other cars are just as bad. I want to start punching people whenever I drive through a parking lot. Some people are just assholes. The bicycle underneath has nothing to do with it. 'sides, all you ultra-fit bicycle-short-wearing weirdos are probably only helping keep health care premiums from going up. Well, as much. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/14 "2010-08-06T18:54:40Z")
> [@fluiddruid](#): > > > [@OtakuLoki](#): > > > > Yanno, I’m pissed at about 30% of the bikers I see these days: They don’t signal, don’t obey traffic laws, or are racing pell-mell down the sidewalk. > > Pedestrians and other cars are just as bad… Or worse. Usually worse, in my experience. Somehow, to bicycle haters, all those cars exceeding the speed limit, rolling through stop signs, tail-gaiting, failing to signal lane changes and turns, failing to yield to pedestrians at crosswalks, talking on cell phones while driving, etc., are perfectly legit. > [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Bicyclists are infantile. They are not fit participants in a free society. > > They are nuts, hippies and wimps. They are far more selfish than their carbon footprint or their effects on traffic patterns would suggest. YOU are a fucking moron. Eat maggot-infested bison dung, you cretinous waste of space. ---
**Author:** ![born\_too\_late](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba9def/32.png) [@born\_too\_late](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/born_too_late)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/15 "2010-08-06T18:55:44Z")
> [@Mach Tuck](#): > > A wacko conservative nutjob seems to [agree with you.](http://www.denverpost.com/election2010/ci_15673894) > > Way to go. Yeah, with that in the news very recently, I had trouble deciding whether the OP was being serious or if it was parody. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/16 "2010-08-06T18:58:23Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Bicyclists are infantile. They are not fit participants in a free society. > > They are nuts, hippies and wimps. They are far more selfish than their carbon footprint or their effects on traffic patterns would suggest. > > Yes, cars are dangerous, dirty, wasteful and expensive. So is life as a responsible adult. Fulfill your manifest destiny and drive a goddam car. > > If you do bike, at least do society the favor of not wearing a helmet. The more of you are dead, or at least brain-dead, the better for the American way of life. piss off. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/17 "2010-08-06T19:06:00Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > If you do bike, at least do society the favor of not wearing a helmet. The more of you are dead, or at least brain-dead, the better for the American way of life. **Beware of Doug** indeed. Especially behind the wheel of a car, apparently. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/18 "2010-08-06T19:15:27Z")
I agree with the OP in a way but I don’t think that bicycles themselves are to blame for bad choices on the part of their owners. I have known lots of people that like to ride bicycles are some are good and some are bad just like anything else. Kid’s BMX style bikes are generally fine as long as they keep them on vacant lots and I have known even older people that made bicycle riding look normal. I think that the negative imagery of a bicycle used on public roads is just a proxy for the types of people that are a threat to America: hippies (as always), socialists, effete upper-middle class men, ghetto kids, overweight soccer mom’s on a rare health kick, and college sophomores. Those people are the real threats and we shouldn’t confuse an inanimate object with the people that use them to promote a subversive agenda. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/19 "2010-08-06T19:17:58Z")
> [@born\_too\_late](#): > > > [@Mach Tuck](#): > > > > A wacko conservative nutjob seems to [agree with you.](http://www.denverpost.com/election2010/ci_15673894) > > > > Way to go. > > Yeah, with that in the news very recently, I had trouble deciding whether the OP was being serious or if it was parody. It **is** parody, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/20 "2010-08-06T19:21:12Z")
> [@born\_too\_late](#): > > Yeah, with that in the news very recently, I had trouble deciding whether the OP was being serious or if it was parody. My exact thought – I saw the headline, and thought “Oh, a thread making fun of that dickhead in Denver”\*. When I read the OP, I still wasn’t sure…and to be honest, I’m not yet convinced either way. \*“Starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan – only in theaters, this September!” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434.md?page=2)