# Resolved: Bicycles are un-American **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 6, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434 "2010-08-06T18:17:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/21 "2010-08-06T19:23:00Z")
> [@Mach Tuck](#): > > A wacko conservative nutjob seems to [agree with you.](http://www.denverpost.com/election2010/ci_15673894) > > Way to go. Wow, I’m not sure I’ve ever heard anyone use the phrase “that’s what they want you to think” in defense of a crazy conspiracy theory non-ironically. (well, OK, it was “that’s the attitude they want you to have”, but close enough). ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/22 "2010-08-06T19:29:11Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Bicyclists are infantile. They are not fit participants in a free society. > > They are nuts, hippies and wimps. They are far more selfish than their carbon footprint or their effects on traffic patterns would suggest. > > Yes, cars are dangerous, dirty, wasteful and expensive. So is life as a responsible adult. Fulfill your manifest destiny and drive a goddam car. > > If you do bike, at least do society the favor of not wearing a helmet. The more of you are dead, or at least brain-dead, the better for the American way of life. I have a bicycle. I do not have a helmet. That’s just how I roll. However, I hate the asswipes who ride on the sidewalk and almost run me down when I am walking somewhere. So, am I for you or against you? Shit if I know 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/23 "2010-08-06T19:45:06Z")
> [@Mach Tuck](#): > > A wacko conservative nutjob seems to [agree with you.](http://www.denverpost.com/election2010/ci_15673894) > > Way to go. I was expecting the op to be a parody of this, actually. I’d probably hate bike riders a lot more if I wasn’t co-workers with several respectful and conscientious ones. The ones I see on my daily commute are more the “suicidal college idiot” type. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/24 "2010-08-06T20:04:56Z")
You know, I’ve never had a problem with a cyclist on the road. All the ones around here tend to be polite, courteous, and safe. Same goes for the drivers, actually. I like it here. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/25 "2010-08-06T20:11:04Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > You know, I’ve never had a problem with a cyclist on the road. All the ones around here tend to be polite, courteous, and safe. Same goes for the drivers, actually. > > I like it here. Where is that? It sounds like Bizarro World. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/26 "2010-08-06T20:14:05Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > You know, I’ve never had a problem with a cyclist on the road. All the ones around here tend to be polite, courteous, and safe. Same goes for the drivers, actually. > > I like it here. La La Land is pretty cool. I hope to retire there. Which part do you live in? Mayberry? I would be hard pressed to find a good cyclist on the road unless you count the ones with a ambulance crew standing over them shaking their head. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/27 "2010-08-06T20:33:59Z")
> [@born\_too\_late](#): > > > [@Mach Tuck](#): > > > > A wacko conservative nutjob seems to [agree with you.](http://www.denverpost.com/election2010/ci_15673894) > > > > Way to go. > > Yeah, with that in the news very recently, I had trouble deciding whether the OP was being serious or if it was parody. Parody. That Maes guy is a shitstain and an egregious example of how certain Loyal Amurricans will drink the Kool-Aid till it spurts out their ears, eventually coming to believe that _any_ show of compassion, nonviolence or non-gobbling-up of resources is another domino fallen in the progression toward a reign of limp-wristed, tofu-eating terror. I, OTOH, am actually a bicyclist and moonbat liberal, whose city is bike-friendly and has maintained such a policy for over 35 years. Thanks for all the BBQing, though. Sometimes it’s nice to be flamebroiled for no real reason. Honorable mention to **Knorf,** who wrote: > [@](#): > > Eat maggot-infested bison dung, you cretinous waste of space. And may the good Lord administer a great pus-spurting rusty-implemented skullfuck to you and every living organism you love. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/28 "2010-08-06T20:35:25Z")
I’ve got no problem with bicyclists in general, but what’s with Ted from accounting dressing up like Lance Armstrong shooting for the yellow jersey? For the record, I don’t really believe all the logos on your ill fitting lycra shorts are actually sponsorships for your ride around Back Cove. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/29 "2010-08-06T20:40:37Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > I’ve got no problem with bicyclists in general, but what’s with Ted from accounting dressing up like Lance Armstrong shooting for the yellow jersey? For the record, I don’t really believe all the logos on your ill fitting lycra shorts are actually sponsorships for your ride around Back Cove. Ted from accounting is clearly a flaming, screaming, senior-grade, gold-braided, fuel-injected, ultra-de-luxe douchebag. He _and_ his bicycle really ought to fed to a woodchipper, and his entrails strung from telephone wires as a warning to all and sundry. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/30 "2010-08-06T20:42:21Z")
Dude, emo was SO last decade. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Love](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Dr.Love](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Love)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/31 "2010-08-06T21:10:39Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > I’ve got no problem with bicyclists in general, but what’s with Ted from accounting dressing up like Lance Armstrong shooting for the yellow jersey? For the record, I don’t really believe all the logos on your ill fitting lycra shorts are actually sponsorships for your ride around Back Cove. Oh god, I hate that guy! What about Linda, from human resources, wearing her Nike running shoes and shorts when she goes jogging. Please. Like she’s ever going to be in the Olympics. And Louis from engineering, the dipshit, actually wears a baseball glove when he’s playing outfield! Can you believe that?! ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/32 "2010-08-06T21:22:40Z")
> [@Dr.Love](#): > > > [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > > > I’ve got no problem with bicyclists in general, but what’s with Ted from accounting dressing up like Lance Armstrong shooting for the yellow jersey? For the record, I don’t really believe all the logos on your ill fitting lycra shorts are actually sponsorships for your ride around Back Cove. > > Oh god, I hate that guy! What about Linda, from human resources, wearing her Nike running shoes and shorts when she goes jogging. Please. Like she’s ever going to be in the Olympics. And Louis from engineering, the dipshit, actually wears a baseball glove when he’s playing outfield! Can you believe that?! Bunch of pansies. When I go bowling, fuck the ball, I throw MYSELF down the alley. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/33 "2010-08-06T21:28:48Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Parody. Whatever, dude. I’m standing by my comment about BMW and truck drivers. And fuck bicycles too, for changing for no good reason. I finally blew out my fork this year - do you know how hard it is to find a decent suspension fork with v-brake tabs on it these days? Impossible\*, because all the goddamned biker riders moved on to disc brakes. Why? Most of them are not even fast enough to need brakes. So now I may have to rebuild my wheel just because, well, for no good reason. \*Ok, not impossible but hard. I had to buy an '09 model to get the tabs. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/34 "2010-08-06T21:31:28Z")
> [@Dag\_Otto](#): > > > [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > > > Parody. > > Whatever, dude. I’m standing by my comment about BMW and truck drivers. > And fuck bicycles too, for changing for no good reason. I finally blew out my fork this year - do you know how hard it is to find a decent suspension fork with v-brake tabs on it these days? Impossible\*, because all the goddamned biker riders moved on to disc brakes. Why? Most of them are not even fast enough to need brakes. So now I may have to rebuild my wheel just because, well, for no good reason. > > \*Ok, not impossible but hard. I had to buy an '09 model to get the tabs. Disk breaks??? What’s next? A drag chute like the land speed record guys put on rocket cars?? ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/35 "2010-08-06T21:31:44Z")
> [@Dr.Love](#): > > > [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > > > I’ve got no problem with bicyclists in general, but what’s with Ted from accounting dressing up like Lance Armstrong shooting for the yellow jersey? For the record, I don’t really believe all the logos on your ill fitting lycra shorts are actually sponsorships for your ride around Back Cove. > > Oh god, I hate that guy! What about Linda, from human resources, wearing her Nike running shoes and shorts when she goes jogging. Please. Like she’s ever going to be in the Olympics. And Louis from engineering, the dipshit, actually wears a baseball glove when he’s playing outfield! Can you believe that?! Please, can we save the hate and ridicule for the recumbent riders who deserve it? ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/36 "2010-08-06T21:46:09Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > Disk breaks??? What’s next? A drag chute like the land speed record guys put on rocket cars?? Actually, [yes](http://www.recumbentblog.com/2010/07/21/pull-the-parachute/). (Seriously, I have the same streamlined bicycle (tricycle) and I’ve often been concerned about brakes overheating during long descents. Bikes don’t have engine brakes.) ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/37 "2010-08-06T21:47:45Z")
You know what’s **really** un-American? The [Twike](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twike)! (It’s Swiss.) ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/38 "2010-08-06T21:50:27Z")
> [@Dag\_Otto](#): > > > [@Dr.Love](#): > > > > Oh god, I hate that guy! What about Linda, from human resources, wearing her Nike running shoes and shorts when she goes jogging. Please. Like she’s ever going to be in the Olympics. And Louis from engineering, the dipshit, actually wears a baseball glove when he’s playing outfield! Can you believe that?! > > Please, can we save the hate and ridicule for the recumbent riders who deserve it? I wish I could afford one of those . . . Riding an upright bike always makes my ass numb, even with a wide seat and padded shorts. Makes my hands numb too, even with padded biking gloves. Uprights look a lot comfier. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/39 "2010-08-06T22:00:53Z")
Aren’t you that trustafarian who’s too smart to have a job, or something? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/40 "2010-08-06T22:21:49Z")
> [@Dr.Love](#): > > And Louis from engineering, the dipshit, actually wears a baseball glove when he’s playing outfield! Can you believe that?! Aha! I got you on this one. Louis from engineering doesn’t just where a baseball glove when he’s playing outfield, he’s also wears pinstripe knickers with matching stirrup socks, a batting glove just on his left hand, Nike metal cleats, three wristbands, an elbow protector, eye-black and flip down sunglasses … at the company co-ed, slow-pitch, high-arc softball game. Boo-yah! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434.md?page=3)