# Resolved: Bicycles are un-American **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 6, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434 "2010-08-06T18:17:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/41 "2010-08-06T23:04:39Z")
> [@OtakuLoki](#): > > Where we differ, OP, is that I can recognize that those assholes are only a fraction of the bicyclists out there. True, but approximately 100% of cyclists think Beware of Dug can kiss my sweaty ass. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/42 "2010-08-06T23:17:38Z")
I feel obliged that while cyclists may (or may not) be upstanding americans, the bicycles _themselves_ are decidedly unamerican. You’ve never seen one vote, have you? Heck, my bycicle was a registered member of the communist party, the bastard. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/43 "2010-08-07T03:41:55Z")
> [@scr4](#): > > > [@SteveG1](#): > > > > Disk breaks??? What’s next? A drag chute like the land speed record guys put on rocket cars?? > > Actually, [yes](http://www.recumbentblog.com/2010/07/21/pull-the-parachute/). > > (Seriously, I have the same streamlined bicycle (tricycle) and I’ve often been concerned about brakes overheating during long descents. Bikes don’t have engine brakes.) I hadn’t thought about the (let’s call them) superbikes. I have just one thing to say… Fucking cool!! ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/44 "2010-08-07T04:03:06Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Parody. Lame. Fine, I withdraw my epithet. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/45 "2010-08-07T04:10:21Z")
I’m going to start riding again now. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/46 "2010-08-07T04:32:52Z")
> [@scr4](#): > > Seriously, I have the same streamlined bicycle (tricycle) and I’ve often been concerned about brakes overheating during long descents. Bikes don’t have engine brakes. Get a single speed with a fixed gear ya big girl’s blouse. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/47 "2010-08-07T04:35:52Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Thanks for all the BBQing, though. Sometimes it’s nice to be flamebroiled for no real reason. Honorable mention to **Knorf,** who wrote… Oh, fer Og’s sake, you wrote an edgy parody with no outward signs that is what you were doing. You expressed an opinion in no way crazy enough to be too crazy to be anything but parody. As the OP you got flamed in the role you chose to play. A number of posters took your post at face value, and several others weren’t sure. Get off \*\*Knorf’s \*\*back, he wasn’t doing anything unreasonable (by Pit standards). ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/48 "2010-08-07T04:58:29Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > > [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > > > Thanks for all the BBQing, though. Sometimes it’s nice to be flamebroiled for no real reason. Honorable mention to **Knorf,** who wrote… > > Oh, fer Og’s sake, you wrote an edgy parody with no outward signs that is what you were doing. You expressed an opinion in no way crazy enough to be too crazy to be anything but parody. As the OP you got flamed in the role you chose to play. A number of posters took your post at face value, and several others weren’t sure. Get off \*\*Knorf’s \*\*back, he wasn’t doing anything unreasonable (by Pit standards). Whoosh. And yes, it was obvious parody. He’s a Doper who has been here a while and has not otherwise hated. This means it is not normal for him to condemn an entire class of people. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out it was a parody, just normal observation skills. The main reason not to realize it was that so many people didn’t, so you start to think maybe they know something you don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/49 "2010-08-07T05:28:01Z")
Meh. Everyone knows bikes are for those too lazy to walk. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/50 "2010-08-07T06:37:17Z")
Kiss my bicycle riding ass, and have fun paying $3 a gallon for petrol, dickface ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/51 "2010-08-07T07:22:18Z")
I don’t know **Beware of Doug** much as a poster, and even if I never noticed shit-head behavior from him before–which I never have–that doesn’t mean much. It happens from time to time that someone who has otherwise seemed reasonable suddenly has an explosive, irrational, but sincerely felt rant about something that just really, really pissed them off that day. Frankly, parodies work better when at some point it’s crystal-clear that it’s a parody, especially after it has towed you along for a bit. (For example, Stephen Colbert is terrific at this.) It was not obvious to most of us who posted in this thread that the OP was a parody. In any case, wasn’t my epithet lurid enough to be clear that it wasn’t really 100% serious? Nonetheless I accept my honorable mention, because I _wasn’t_ sure whether the OP was a parody or not. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/52 "2010-08-07T07:44:55Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > I don’t know **Beware of Doug** much as a poster, and even if I never noticed shit-head behavior from him before–which I never have–that doesn’t mean much. It happens from time to time that someone who has otherwise seemed reasonable suddenly has an explosive, irrational, but sincerely felt rant about something that just really, really pissed them off that day. In your defense, lots of us really do hate bicyclists but not necessarily the bicycles themselves. There is a lot to hate there and I found myself getting angry just thinking about them when I read the OP and I even own a bicycle (but I keep it in the basement). It is the same thing with golf. I don’t think it should be outright banned but some things are better done in private and not on public property. You can hate the sin and still love the sinner as a wise man once said probably before bicycles were even invented. Bicycle pants are about the faggiest looking since..damnit, now I am more pissed off at soccer. Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Khaki\_Campbell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Khaki\_Campbell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khaki_Campbell)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/53 "2010-08-07T07:54:55Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Suck my big, hard status quo, lycra-pants. That’s about the only thing you’ll ever get sucked. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/54 "2010-08-07T10:24:23Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > I’ve got no problem with bicyclists in general, but what’s with Ted from accounting dressing up like Lance Armstrong shooting for the yellow jersey? For the record, I don’t really believe all the logos on your ill fitting lycra shorts are actually sponsorships for your ride around Back Cove. Like Lance Armstrong, Ted will be spending an hour or two sitting on a thin hard seat, the padding in the arse of the bike shorts improve the comfort level. It’s actually kind of hard to find descent bike stuff that doesn’t have all the logos and shit (it’s one reason I don’t really have any proper bike clothes, I don’t want to have all the logos, not to mention feeling uncomfortable wearing professional clothes and riding at an amateur pace ;)). ---
**Author:** ![born\_too\_late](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba9def/32.png) [@born\_too\_late](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/born_too_late)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/55 "2010-08-07T11:50:21Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > > [@born\_too\_late](#): > > > > Yeah, with that in the news very recently, I had trouble deciding whether the OP was being serious or if it was parody. > > Parody. > > That Maes guy is a shitstain and an egregious example of how certain Loyal Amurricans will drink the Kool-Aid till it spurts out their ears, eventually coming to believe that _any_ show of compassion, nonviolence or non-gobbling-up of resources is another domino fallen in the progression toward a reign of limp-wristed, tofu-eating terror. > > I, OTOH, am actually a bicyclist and moonbat liberal, whose city is bike-friendly and has maintained such a policy for over 35 years. > > Thanks for all the BBQing, though. Sometimes it’s nice to be flamebroiled for no real reason. Honorable mention to **Knorf,** who wrote: > > > [@](#): > > > > Eat maggot-infested bison dung, you cretinous waste of space. > > And may the good Lord administer a great pus-spurting rusty-implemented skullfuck to you and every living organism you love. These are truly dark days, and the ol’ sarcasm meter has taken some grave damage lately. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/56 "2010-08-07T13:26:34Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > And yes, it was obvious parody. He’s a Doper who has been here a while and has not otherwise hated. This means it is not normal for him to condemn an entire class of people. I know that, you know that. Everyone who posts here is supposed to know that? The OP put hook on a bait then whined when the line burnt his fingers when someone bit, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/57 "2010-08-07T13:33:36Z")
> [@Richard\_Pearse](#): > > It’s actually kind of hard to find descent bike stuff that doesn’t have all the logos and shit… Not really. I have six or seven jerseys without logos. Admittedly there tends to be more stock with, than without, logos in trendy shops but it isn’t hard to find plain stuff at all. Check out any on-line cycling store and they will have any number of plain (admittedly lurid) coloured jerseys, and patterns. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/58 "2010-08-07T15:51:20Z")
> [@anya\_marie](#): > > Kiss my bicycle riding ass, and have fun paying $3 a gallon for petrol, dickface Have fun scraping yourself off my bumper, you Commie 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/59 "2010-08-07T15:57:14Z")
> [@Mach Tuck](#): > > A wacko conservative nutjob seems to [agree with you.](http://www.denverpost.com/election2010/ci_15673894) > > Way to go. Hmmmm. I remember the good old days (no, not really but what the heck) when “conservative” didn’t mean “Crazier than a peach orchard sow” > [@](#): > > .. Now he realizes “that’s exactly the attitude they want you to have.” > > “This is bigger than it looks like on the surface, and it could threaten our personal freedoms,” Maes said. … > > aren’t just warm, fuzzy ideas from the mayor. These are very specific strategies that are dictated to us by this United Nations program that mayors have signed on to. There’s one boy who’s half a sandwich shy of a picnic. ---
**Author:** ![RandomLetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@RandomLetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandomLetters)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/60 "2010-08-07T17:40:40Z")
Bicycles do occupy an unhappy medium when it comes to transportation: they are too fast to safely operate on sidewalks, but are too slow and flimsy to operate along side cars, trucks, and buses. And creating dedicated bike trails isn’t possible in a lot of places due to space & cost concerns; bike lanes and a motor vehicle road are a poor substitute, since they are still right next to cars. And for my stupid bicyclist story; yesterday as I was going down a three lane road (middle lane was a turning lane) I nearly hit this guy on a bike who rode right through a stop sign on a side road, who made a wide right turn and decided to ride down the middle turn lane for several blocks. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434.md?page=4)