# Resolved: Bicycles are un-American **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 6, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434 "2010-08-06T18:17:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/61 "2010-08-08T03:31:58Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > > [@anya\_marie](#): > > > > Kiss my bicycle riding ass, and have fun paying $3 a gallon for petrol, dickface > > Have fun scraping yourself off my bumper, you Commie šŸ˜ƒ Yeah? Unlike you and your mother, I stop at stop signs.šŸ˜› Have a nice day, shitface. ---
**Author:** ![splankt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@splankt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/splankt)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/62 "2010-08-08T05:43:01Z")
You are bad at parody. This is not, however, an excuse for the posters like anya marie and 11811 that couldnā€™t identify sarcasm even after it was explained to them. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/63 "2010-08-08T06:43:20Z")
I hate you too. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/64 "2010-08-08T06:54:17Z")
I love bicycles. Thatā€™s one thing I definitely miss over here. Iā€™m not about to ride a bike in Bangkok. That would be sure suicide! Plus the climate is such that Iā€™m bathed in sweat as it is simply walking a few hundred yeards down the road; would not want to add to that. But I do miss the excellent bike lanes of Albuquerque and Honolulu. In Honolulu especially, I had a top-of-the-line Diamandback bike, and three times a week Iā€™d ride it up to the top of Tantalus, the small mountain ā€“ okay, ā€œhillā€ ā€“ overlooking the city. That put me in such good shape that Iā€™d do the full 100 kilometers of the annual bike ride hosted by the _Honolulu Advertiser_ newspaper. Not a race, just a pledge to ride the distance. I could do the 100k in 8 hours and 20 minutes, but I canā€™t remember now if that included hour spent soaking in the ocean at the halfway turnaround point on the North Shore of Oahu or was separate from it. ---
**Author:** ![Honesty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f04885/32.png) [@Honesty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honesty)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/65 "2010-08-08T19:41:07Z")
I feel you. The main street I take into work cuts into a narrow street called Neil Ave which is a conglomeration of out-of-sync lights, stop signs, strigent one-ways, joggers, runners, dogs, and bicyclist galore. The City of Columbus had the nerve to put a sign that read ā€œShare the Roadā€ over a bicycle picture. I want to write on there ā€œBuild a fucking bike lane and Iā€™ll share it.ā€ This is an uniquely American problem because the country as a whole does not have the infrastructure for anything but cars _and_ is in the infancy of fostering a greener economy. It pisses me off that Chicago, Philadelphia, Boston have an alternative to cars or buses but the rest of the country doesnā€™t. Cities that have 500,000 - 1 million people should have a comprehensive rail system. I donā€™t understand why we donā€™t have a rail-version of the Interstate yet. Whatā€™s up with that? - Honesty ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/66 "2010-08-09T10:59:22Z")
There are trckloads of people who cannot cope with bicycles on the road. A bunch of them have Jesus bumper stickers and a bunch drive shitty cars. Roads are not built for cars and bicycles, AND pedestrians. These people always expect me to get the hell out of the way for them, because theyā€™re late, or other reasons, or they want me to violate the laws of physics, turning in front of garbage trucks going 45 mph. Their ignorant children shout things at me because i suppose it looks cool to the other idiots in the car with them. I can stop on a dime, but that is not enough when one considers how many things there are that can crush you like a bug. Iā€™m not going to apologize for taking my bicycle out to places less than a mile away. I realize anecdote is not the same as data, but iā€™ve seen a lot. BTW Invisble Pink Unicorn smiles on those who do see me, who donā€™r drive with their head in the clouds or up their ass or wherever. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/67 "2010-08-09T11:36:18Z")
> [@Honesty](#): > > I donā€™t understand why we donā€™t have a rail-version of the Interstate yet. Whatā€™s up with that? Yet? We _used to_. Both inter- and intra-city rail transport was once much better than it is now. We tore almost all of it down. Most passenger rail routes were abandoned, and many cities paved over streetcar tracks. ---
**Author:** ![Ace309](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ace309/32/1050_2.png) [@Ace309](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace309)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/68 "2010-08-09T11:54:26Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > And may the good Lord administer a great pus-spurting rusty-implemented skullfuck to you and every living organism you love. Putting that rhetoric degree to good use, I see. ---
**Author:** ![kferr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@kferr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kferr)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/69 "2010-08-09T13:03:31Z")
> [@anya\_marie](#): > > Kiss my bicycle riding ass, and have fun paying $3 a gallon for petrol, dickface Iā€™d LOVE to pay $3.00/gallon for petrol! Today in the UK itā€™s $7.52 per US gallon. ---
**Author:** ![Baboonanza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f475e1/32.png) [@Baboonanza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baboonanza)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/70 "2010-08-09T14:06:50Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > Bunch of pansies. When I go bowling, fuck the ball, I throw MYSELF down the alley. šŸ˜ƒ The holes are for your fingers dumbass! Wait a minute, _that_ā€™s what the sticky residue was :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/71 "2010-08-09T14:32:18Z")
> [@Ace309](#): > > > [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > > > And may the good Lord administer a great pus-spurting rusty-implemented skullfuck to you and every living organism you love. > > Putting that rhetoric degree to good use, I see. HAR! Thatā€™s an ace, **Ace.** BTW, I agree with whoever said my OP was lousy parody. Perhaps satire would be a better word for it; satire doesnā€™t have to be funny, and it can even troll. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2010, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434/72 "2010-08-14T05:58:14Z")
> [@Dr.Love](#): > > > [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > > > Iā€™ve got no problem with bicyclists in general, but whatā€™s with Ted from accounting dressing up like Lance Armstrong shooting for the yellow jersey? For the record, I donā€™t really believe all the logos on your ill fitting lycra shorts are actually sponsorships for your ride around Back Cove. > > Oh god, I hate that guy! What about Linda, from human resources, wearing her Nike running shoes and shorts when she goes jogging. Please. Like sheā€™s ever going to be in the Olympics. And Louis from engineering, the dipshit, actually wears a baseball glove when heā€™s playing outfield! Can you believe that?! Fuck, that was Ted? I hate that guy too! I was giving him a wide berth while passing him last week, and the asshole swung over towards me, making me wonder for a second if it would be better to hit the SUV coming the other way or kill him. If Iā€™d have known it was Ted, I would have let him pull into the side of my car like he obviously wanted to. My carā€™s well-insured. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-bicycles-are-un-american/549434.md?page=3)