The central problem with jtgain’s analogy is the way it ignores or minimizes the very serious problems that marriage fixes for gay people, without showing that any similar problems exist for his “cleanlosexuals.”
Imagine Bob and Ted are a couple, and so is Carol and her Maytag Maxima front load washer with steam and powerwash system. Neither couple is legally allowed to wed.
Bob falls into a coma. Because Bob’s parents are troglodyte homophobes, they forbid Ted to visit Bob at the hospital. The house they’ve shared for twenty years is in Bob’s name. Ted’s been the homemaker, living off of Bob’s large salary. When Bob dies, his parents take the house and all the assets, leaving Ted destitute, homeless, and with no job relevant experience in the last two decades. He can’t even get survivors benefits from Bob’s stint in the Maribes. In the final insult, Bob’s parents won’t even tell Ted where Bob is buried, so he can pay his respect to the grave. I think we can all agree that this is a terrible and regrettable outcome right? And one that could have been prevented if SSM had been available to them?
Now let’s look at Carol and her Maytag. If Carol falls into a coma, and the Maytag is prevented from visiting her, the Maytag doesn’t care. The house and all the assets are in Carol’s name, and they’re all claimed by the parents when she dies. The Maytag still doesn’t care. The parents throw the Mautag out of the home it’s lived in for twenty years (Maytag makes a good washer) and is left on the street. The Maytag still doesn’t care, although the parents might get a ticket for littering.
Or, tun it around, and it’s the Maytag that breaks down. Carol might have some issues with being allowed to visit the washer in the shop, although I suspect something could be worked out. It’s not like Maytag’s parent company is going to block her. If the Maytag proves beyond repair, that’s sad for Carol, but she’s not out anything other than an appliance and her emotional investment. The washer does not own any property, nor does it have a paying job, nor does it collect government benefits. So there’s no danger of loss of home or financial support. Carol is free to dispose of her loved ones remains however she sees fit, in accordance with local anti-dumping laws.
The only point of comparison where this analogy works is compassion. Gay people are, by and large, insulted at not being allowed to marry, and perhaps cleanlosexuals are similarly insulted. But that compassion is not, and has never been, sufficient reason in and of itself to create gay marriage - it’s the thousands and thousands of stories of unendurable heartbreak and staggering unfairness that makes SSM a necessity, and appliance marriage and insulting farce of a failed argument.
