# Resolved: I fucking hate soccer! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 3, 2010, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-i-fucking-hate-soccer/545453 "2010-07-03T19:53:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-i-fucking-hate-soccer/545453/81 "2010-07-04T16:13:35Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > Football doesn’t lend itself to immediate gratification. There will be periods of tense build up with not much penetration. Well, there you go. It’s too reminiscent of his love life. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-i-fucking-hate-soccer/545453/82 "2010-07-04T16:23:05Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Well, there you go. It’s too reminiscent of his love life. I hear the dude flops worse than a Mexican soccer player. Aw c’mon, Ref. That post doesn’t deserve a yellow card. I never even touched the guy! ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-i-fucking-hate-soccer/545453/83 "2010-07-04T16:25:29Z")
> [@Gustav](#): > > Soccer seems to have been more or less solved at this point, and the solution is defensive play, short passes and keeping the ball on the ground. Boring, boring boring and way overdue for a major rules revision to shake things up and give more advantages to exciting play. > > That said, the OP is a clueless idiot. I disagree (with your first point) the game has always ebbed and flowed in terms of the balance of power but short passing and the ball on the ground has ALWAYS been the way to succeed internationally. However, the team who looks the best at the moment is Germany and they marry tight defence with speedy breaking and they have provided the best spectacle so far in this tournament. Tight defence doesn’t seem to have “solved” them yet. (Strange as it may be, me being an Englishman and all, but I’m a fan of all things German and even more so when they walloped stumpy cheat Diago Maradona 4-1) As for rule changes, nothing major needed but I’d really like the rules that already exist to actually be nforced. If that needs some help from technology then let’s do it. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-i-fucking-hate-soccer/545453/84 "2010-07-04T16:32:02Z")
> [@gonzomax](#): > > How did I belittle it or attack the fans? . no, my apologies. You didn’t directly belittle the sport and didn’t in any way attack the fans. I meant my comments that to read that some attacks on the sport are belittling and can be seen as attacks on the fans. Your’s were not and my language wasn’t clear on that. (Curse me for using “you” in the general sense..it wasn’t “you” personally) I still think your criticisms don’t stand up to scrutiny but as you say, we can all have our opinions. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-i-fucking-hate-soccer/545453/85 "2010-07-04T16:48:47Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > As for rule changes, nothing major needed but I’d really like the rules that already exist to actually be nforced. If that needs some help from **technology** then let’s do it. Ya think? 😉 The goal that wasn’t between England and Germany was a pathetic display by FIFA. Sure, it wouldn’t have changed the outcome, but _damn_. I was crying for instant replay after we Americans had two goals annulled for offsides, but that English goal that wasn’t made me realize what a piece of shit job FIFA does officiating. Damn thing was in by a yard and a half! How do you miss that?! ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-i-fucking-hate-soccer/545453/86 "2010-07-04T17:20:31Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > Ya think? 😉 > > The goal that wasn’t between England and Germany was a pathetic display by FIFA. Sure, it wouldn’t have changed the outcome, but _damn_. I was crying for instant replay after we Americans had two goals annulled for offsides, but that English goal that wasn’t made me realize what a piece of shit job FIFA does officiating. Damn thing was in by a yard and a half! How do you miss that?! And I think that, in a nutshell,is what is wrong with the game…Sepp Blatter and FIFA. Some clarity and sporting integrity from them and the major ills of the game could be sorted. Unfortunately, head of FIFA is now a political rather than a sporting position and so we shouldn’t be surprised when we get a whiff of political expediency. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-i-fucking-hate-soccer/545453/87 "2010-07-04T17:25:03Z")
I like your confidence in believing it wouldn’t have changed the outcome( “it” being the goal that wasn’t given.). From where I was sat, it looked like the Germans would have gone to pieces had that goal been allowed, and they’d have at least ended the half on the back foot, if they weren’t being beaten. England would have come out buoyant in the 2nd half, and the Hun would have faced a uphill battle. Then we’d have been embarrassed by Argentina. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-i-fucking-hate-soccer/545453/88 "2010-07-04T17:44:12Z")
I’m 100% on board with the OP. But still, troll thread is trollish. And funny. I \<3 this thread. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Taber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac91a4/32.png) [@Taber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taber)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-i-fucking-hate-soccer/545453/89 "2010-07-04T18:19:01Z")
nevermind ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-i-fucking-hate-soccer/545453/90 "2010-07-04T18:35:47Z")
> [@Rysdad](#): > > I need to clear something up. > > I _have_ watched more than one soccer game. I’ve given it a chance. I’ve even _paid_ to see a professional soccer game > > The result of that game was a 0-0 tie. > > Don’t tell me my views are based on only one game. It’s based on every fucking mind-numbing ‘game’ I’ve ever seen. > > Soccer is a soporific. Dude, give it up. Soccer fans are 100% impenetrable. Posts like this… > [@Cort](#): > > I’m out. There’s no getting through to you and I’ve better things to do. You’ve not seen any of my videos. You’ve not said anything that would imply a genuine knowledge of football. And you _still_ haven’t explained the difference between a 4-4-2 and a 4-3-3, presumably because you _can’t_ and you _still_ think you’re knowledgeable enough to criticize the game! You’re a know-nothing half-wit. …remind me of nothing so much as a post (not sure where I saw it) that broke down _Twilight_ fans: Sane Person: _Twilight_ sucks. Twilight-lover: No, you just don’t understand it. You can’t get all the subtleties from the movie. Sane Person: I didn’t just see the movie, I read the book. Twilight-lover: Well, you can’t get it from just the first one – you have to read the whole series. Sane Person: I did read the whole series. It was complete shit. Twilight-lover: Well, there’s so much more beyond the official releases that really tie everything together. Sane Person: I read all the books, saw all the movies, checked out the unreleased “alternate view” material and a ton of fan fiction. I can say, unequivocally and from a position of knowledge, that the _Twilight_ series is garbage. It’s sophomoric trash aimed at tween girls, and anyone out of that target audience who professes a love for it is pathetic. Twilight-lover: Well geez, how pathetic are you, spending all that time on something just to bash it? It works the same here. There is no amount of time you can spend watching the sport or knowledge of the game you can possess that would be enough – if you’re not a fan, then you’re _just short_ of knowing enough to really enjoy its wondrous intricacies. ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-i-fucking-hate-soccer/545453/91 "2010-07-04T18:59:32Z")
No it works much more like this Fucking wanker -“Waaaaa! I don’t understand something therefore it sucks!” Sensible person “If you don’t understand it, perhaps a littel research would be in order” Fucking wanker " Waaa waaa waaa waaa waaa" Another sensible person " Each to their own, if you don’t like it why watch it" Fucking wanker" I went to a bar and other people were watching it waaa waaa waaa" Yet another sensible person " I don’t like the same thing either, but I would have ignored it or I would have gone somewhere else" Another fucking wanker “American is the best and whats with all this foreign stuff that I don’t understand, after watching it for nearly four seconds - which makes me the total world’s expert” Yet another clueless fucking dolt “It’s not as real as other fucking shite that I like” etc etc ad nauseum ---
**Author:** ![Fake\_Tales\_of\_San\_Francisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8491ac/32.png) [@Fake\_Tales\_of\_San\_Francisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fake_Tales_of_San_Francisco)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-i-fucking-hate-soccer/545453/92 "2010-07-04T19:06:38Z")
Wow, two pages of nothing! I doubt the same thing would happen if I made a thread saying “I fucking hate chocolate!” but it’s more or less the same effect. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-i-fucking-hate-soccer/545453/93 "2010-07-04T19:13:33Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > I like your confidence in believing it wouldn’t have changed the outcome( “it” being the goal that wasn’t given.). From where I was sat, it looked like the Germans would have gone to pieces had that goal been allowed, and they’d have at least ended the half on the back foot, if they weren’t being beaten. England would have come out buoyant in the 2nd half, and the Hun would have faced a uphill battle. > > Then we’d have been embarrassed by Argentina. Are you kidding me? The four goals didn’t come out of nowhere. At _best_ y’all would have lost 3-2. Good lord, man. After group play I picked Argentina to win the whole thing, and the Germans beat them like a red-headed step child. The no-goal for England was bullshit, but the Germans would have won anyway. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-i-fucking-hate-soccer/545453/94 "2010-07-04T19:16:04Z")
> [@Fake\_Tales\_of\_San\_Francisco](#): > > Wow, two pages of nothing. Why shouldn’t the thread mimic the sport it’s about? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-i-fucking-hate-soccer/545453/95 "2010-07-04T19:20:06Z")
I’ll modify my previously-stated position to include this: I have, in fact played soccer in a league setting recently. Like any sport, it’s a hell of a lot of fun to play. That said, I’d still sooner take an icepick to the back of the knee than watch it on TV. As a spectator sport, ick. ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-i-fucking-hate-soccer/545453/96 "2010-07-04T19:33:24Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > Are you kidding me? The four goals didn’t come out of nowhere. Exactly. The third and fourth were direct results of England having to throw men forward - and hence leaving themselves exposed at the back - in an effort to get a goal they had already scored. Oh. That’s not what _you_ meant, was it? ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-i-fucking-hate-soccer/545453/97 "2010-07-04T19:36:17Z")
The OP is a retarded troll, and i’m not sure why so many soccer fans are giving him the attention he clearly craves. > [@Shagnasty](#): > > If you want to know the real answer to this question, it is the rest of the world doesn’t know how to put on a good show. European television generally sucks pretty hard let alone the rest of the world. Yeah, its really awful turning on a sporting event and getting 45-50 minutes of straight, commercial-free gameplay. Then there’s half-time, followed by another 45-50 minutes of straight, commercial-free gameplay. Why can’t it be more like American TV, where we get three minutes of ads every five minutes? ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-i-fucking-hate-soccer/545453/98 "2010-07-04T19:43:27Z")
All sports are primitive and a waste of time. Although soccer has one up on football in that retired players aren’t usually so fucked up from getting tackled that they can barely move and the rest of their life is spent in chronic pain. But hey, you want something to watch on sundays so it’s all good. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-i-fucking-hate-soccer/545453/99 "2010-07-04T21:10:27Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > All sports are primitive and a waste of time. Although soccer has one up on football in that retired players aren’t usually so fucked up from getting tackled that they can barely move and the rest of their life is spent in chronic pain. But hey, you want something to watch on sundays so it’s all good. That’s right. We put those guys in slavery, FORCE them to pound each other to jelly, and refuse to pay them above minimum wage. It’s not like they get into the sport because they enjoy playing it. Noooooooo… ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-i-fucking-hate-soccer/545453/100 "2010-07-04T21:14:25Z")
Plus without soccer, we would never have gotten Dieux du Stade and frankly a world without that is a world not worth living. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-i-fucking-hate-soccer/545453.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-i-fucking-hate-soccer/545453.md?page=6)