# Resolved: Minnesota Must Secede! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 1, 2002, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-must-secede/139744 "2002-12-01T06:15:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-must-secede/139744/21 "2002-12-01T19:39:18Z")
About a decade ago, just before the “Republic of Texas” wackos tried to claim that Texas never joined the Union, the Texas Board of Tourism came up with the following ironic slogan: “Texas: It’s like a whole other country.” Needless to say, they dropped this slogan as soon as the whole Republic of Texas debacle made national news. So … now that Texas is **not** using this slogan anymore, maybe Minnesota can use it! (Er, except for the “Texas” part. That would be kinda weird.) ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-must-secede/139744/22 "2002-12-01T19:47:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by samclem \* > \*\*Born Scott Thompson, he grew up in Cocoa Beach, FL, where his Dad worked for NASA. He attended Florida Atlantic U. in Boca Raton, where he says he “majored in skirt chasing and minored in partying.” He began his comedy career in college, at an open mike night. \*\* Geeze, I also went to FAU in Boca, and I stupidly majored in Computer Science. I’m unemployed, and this Carrot Top asshole is probably rich. You know, I don’t even remember being told about that skirt-chasing major being offered. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-must-secede/139744/23 "2002-12-01T20:14:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by samclem \* > \*\*from [http://216.239.51.100/search?q=cache:5yPE7LsnJFYC:www.lvol.com/bios/e93.html+"scott+thompson"+"carrot+top"+born&hl=en&ie=UTF-8](http://216.239.51.100/search?q=cache:5yPE7LsnJFYC:www.lvol.com/bios/e93.html+%22scott+thompson%22+%22carrot+top%22+born&hl=en&ie=UTF-8) \*\* But he was born in Charlotte, and he gets fan mail at: c/o Carrot Top Inc., 5222 Monroe Rd., Charlotte, NC 28205 USA ---
**Author:** ![PatrickM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7feea3/32.png) [@PatrickM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickM)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-must-secede/139744/24 "2002-12-01T20:52:15Z")
The question of secession raises the question: what happens to the Twins? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-must-secede/139744/25 "2002-12-01T21:01:10Z")
Go Twins! Take the Vikings with you! ---
**Author:** ![Daoloth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/82dd89/32.png) [@Daoloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daoloth)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-must-secede/139744/26 "2002-12-01T21:37:10Z")
And take all your mayflys with you. ::shudders:: ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-must-secede/139744/27 "2002-12-01T22:48:20Z")
> [@](#): > > But he was born in Charlotte Cite? LUTEFISK CASSEROLE 3 lbs. prepared lutefisk, cooked 3 cups cooked rice 3 egg yolks, well beaten 3 cups milk 1 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon white pepper 3 tablespoons butter, melted Remove skin and bones from well-drained, cooked lutefisk. Add rice. Mix egg yolks and milk. Add to fish and rice. Add salt, pepper and melted butter. Turn into buttered 2-1/2 quart casserole. Bake at 350 degrees for 1 to 1-1/4 hours or until firm. Serve with melted butter. Mrs. Jerome Steen, Clinton, MN From [http://www.farmandranchguide.com/display/inn\_country\_living/The\_Recipe\_Box/miscmeats.seafood.txt](http://www.farmandranchguide.com/display/inn_country_living/The_Recipe_Box/miscmeats.seafood.txt) I love covering two bases with one cite. :::barf::: * * * ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-must-secede/139744/28 "2002-12-02T01:19:11Z")
Lutefisk with bones!!? Would it be simpler to just expel Texas? I can see a lot of advantages to that. All we have to do is get the Supremes to reconsider the decision in _Texas v. White_\*–suggest a substituted opinion that says that no State can leave the Union with out the consent of the other States, **except Texas**. Texas needs the unanimous consent of the other States to get back in. If Minnesota does secede do we have an opportunity to invent a new body of heroic poetry along the lines of: Jesse’s Address to His Troops at the Battle of LaCressent Gophers wha’ ha’ wi’ Ventura bled, Gophers w’am Wellstone aften lead, Welcome to your gory bed– Or to victorie. Now’s the day and now’s the hour, then. See the front of battle lour; See approach proud Dub-yew’s snowmobile, Chains and slavery. Who would be a traitor’s knave, Who’ can fill a coward’s grave, Who’ SA’ base as be a slave, Let him move to Waco. Etc. It is worth noting that as much as Garrison whoops it up for Minnesota, he lives in Wisconsin. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-must-secede/139744/29 "2002-12-02T01:53:21Z")
I have to say that I enjoyed the 3 years that I lived in Minneapolis, but a guy I knew from New York had it right. He said that Minnesota was like a black hole and that if you stayed too long you would get sucked in and could never leave. **elucidator** , it sounds like you’ve been sucked in. One thing that I did notice, is that while on the onset, Minnesotans are nice to people who move there, when push comes to shove, they will hold the fact that you weren’t born there against you. So, **elucidator** , what kind of bars did you have after your Thanksgiving dinner? ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-must-secede/139744/30 "2002-12-02T02:56:17Z")
If Minnesota secedes, does this mean that Canada finally gets the Lake of the Woods handle? I mean, I can see those Manifest Destiny blokes in Washington wanting to hang on to that little bit all these years, even though it made the map of Minnesota awfully untidy. But if Minnesota secedes, then their accustomed modesty may suggest that they don’t need to be that expansionist. As well, there would be the tidiness factor: would they be willing to get rid of the odd bit for the sake of a tidier map? ---
**Author:** ![St.Urho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8e7dd6/32.png) [@St.Urho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Urho)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-must-secede/139744/31 "2002-12-02T03:03:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by happyheathen \* > \*\*Please? We’ll throw in Wisconsin, if that’ll help. > Really, it’s no problem. \*\* Yeah, but that’d defeat the whole purpose, ya know? ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-must-secede/139744/32 "2002-12-02T03:38:34Z")
Oh, and **elucidator,** since we’re on the topic of things Minnesotan: “Nipples, MN”? really? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-must-secede/139744/33 "2002-12-02T03:43:57Z")
Colloquial for “Minneapolis”. That’s the place where Mary Tyler Moore once threw her hat up in the air. Pretty sexy joke for Minnesota. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-must-secede/139744/34 "2002-12-02T04:11:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TVeblen \* > **Even the most hardcore progressive must admit that some substances are so horrific they _should_ be restricted, simply for the civic good. Tacitly sanctioning such a reeking, revolting foodstuff as a possible unofficial state food would be folly.** Does this mean warning labels would be required on [SPAM](http://www.spamtownusa.com/)? Can we make the town of [Darwin](http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/MNDARtwine.html) a national park? ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-must-secede/139744/35 "2002-12-02T04:19:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Northern Piper \* > \*\* > But if Minnesota secedes, then their accustomed modesty may suggest that they don’t need to be that expansionist. As well, there would be the tidiness factor: would they be willing to get rid of the odd bit for the sake of a tidier map? \*\* D’ya suppose, what with their mildness and reasonabiliity and all, _Minnesotans may have been stealth Canadians all along!_ They aren’t vipers to our bosom. We aren’t sure they _recognize_ bosoms without Damart waffle-weave undies. They sure never talk about 'em, even in private, much less mixed company. Nah, on second thought, Canadians tend to be much randier than Minnesotans. Veb ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-must-secede/139744/36 "2002-12-02T04:21:51Z")
Mr. Gelding: Sir! It is with mixed approval and consternation that I read you pleasant bit of purloined doggerel. What it lacks in scansion it compensates with modesty. Nonetheless, I must point out that any disrespect, implied or blatant, towards Waco is unacceptable. Waco, as you probably don’t know, is the home of Baylor University, oftimes known as the “Athens on the Brazos”. It is further the home stadium of the much feared and dreaded Baylor Bears, of football notoriety. Molly Ivins once dubbed Waco “The Vatican of the Baptists”. In addition to a most disagreeable encounter with Federal authorities, and burdened as well the whimsical agricultural exploits of the Cowboy from Kennebunkport, it is downwind from Dallas. Be mindful of thier suffering, sir, and deflect the barbs of your wit toward a more worthy target. ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-must-secede/139744/37 "2002-12-02T05:58:26Z")
I am sure that it is far beyond my meager power to enhance or reduce the standing of that wide spot in the road so beloved by ex-Congressman Armey or Congressman DeLay or who ever it is that doesn’t want good people to send their kids to A&M, that den of iniquity. Hey, Billy Bob, if the U won’t lets us build a bonfire on campus, lets go out in the woods and build one ourselves where we will all die if something goes wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-must-secede/139744/38 "2002-12-02T06:01:47Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by elucidator \* > [B…Nonetheless, I must point out that any disrespect, implied or blatant, towards Waco is unacceptable…_\* Expressed or implied? ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-must-secede/139744/39 "2002-12-02T07:25:11Z")
Thank goodness, this isn’t a thread about slavery. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-must-secede/139744/40 "2002-12-02T11:21:26Z")
Samclem wrote: > [@](#): > > Cite? In researching a cite, I find that I was wrong. My apologies. Sadly, Charlotte will have to cede Carrot Top to Florida. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-must-secede/139744.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-must-secede/139744.md?page=3)