# Resolved: Minnesota to secede from the Union! **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [January 16, 2001, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388 "2001-01-16T21:24:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ptahlis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a8b319/32.png) [@Ptahlis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ptahlis)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/21 "2001-01-17T18:29:27Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by BlackKnight \* \*\* > [@](#): > > I know, it’s one of my favorite Weird Al songs! > > Have you ever actually been to the Twineball? (I capitalize out of respect) > > \*\* No, I haven’t. But just knowing that the Twineball Inn is out there makes me want to load up with diet chocolate soda and take a road trip. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/22 "2001-01-17T18:30:41Z")
First off, I’m surprised no one mentioned that part of Minnesota actually TRIED to secede last March over Canadian fishing laws. Check out the details [here](http://www.cnn.com/ALLPOLITICS/1998/03/19/minnesota/). Secondly, we don’t have a measly ten thousand lakes to Michigan’s twelve thousand. “Lake” is a very deceiving term. Using the Minnesota DNR (Department of Natural Resources- it’s the state Mafia) definition, Minnesota has 11,842 lakes of 10+ acres in size. Cite is [here](http://www.dnr.state.mn.us/water.html). Thirdly, Michigan doesn’t even have twelve thousand lakes at all! Michigan’s [DNR webpage](http://www.dnr.state.mi.us/SubPage.asp?sec=fish) only states: > [@](#): > > Four Great Lakes, 11,000 inland lakes and thousands of streams … You can keep your paltry eleven thousand. 😉 Also, regarding the twine ball-- Minnesota no longer has the biggest ball of twine in the world, sadly. However, it still is the biggest ball of twine in the world _made by one fanatic_. A Kansas resident, Frank Stoeber, saw the twine ball as a challenge and tried to create a bigger one. Unfortunately, he died before he could achieve his dream. However, Cawker City kept his dream alive, and every August held a Twine-a-Thon to increase the size of the ball. And the Mall of America … sheesh, someone just tear that down and build the old Met Stadium back. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/23 "2001-01-17T18:47:02Z")
Would those of us separated from our beloved homeland in the Diaspora be allowed to return? If so, would you pay us to come back, like Germany does? ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/24 "2001-01-17T18:47:03Z")
I’m trying to picture what life would be like in the Socialist Republic of Minnesota… 1. Every road gets resurfaced at least once a year. 2. GNP drops to a level on par with Botswana since everybody is stuck in either never ending road repairs or a major snow storm. 3. Schools are fantastic and SRM residents have 98% literacy. 4. Taxes will amongst the highest ever known on earth, simply to pay for items 1 and 3. 5. The remaining pro sports teams flee the SRM in an effort to avoid item 4. (By comparison Quebec will look like a bargin) 6. The people will begin to dress like WWII era peasants, since they will be taxed to the hilt and won’t be able to afford new clothes. ---
**Author:** ![Necros](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/necros/32/11086_2.png) [@Necros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necros)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/25 "2001-01-17T18:48:49Z")
So…does that mean I’d have to have a passport to visit my mother-in-law in St. Cloud? And I could use “customs hassles” as an excuse to stay away? Hmm. I think I could find something to like in this secessionist sentiment. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/26 "2001-01-17T18:50:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by adam yax \* > **The people will begin to dress like WWII era peasants** Those are our fishing clothes. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/27 "2001-01-17T18:50:31Z")
Sorry, but I forgot the requirement that the third one had to be “Hi Opal”. ---
**Author:** ![muppetsoup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aca169/32.png) [@muppetsoup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muppetsoup)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/28 "2001-01-17T21:30:21Z")
Maybe you’ll get to say “President Mondale” without being laughed at. After the first couple months, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/29 "2001-01-18T15:39:55Z")
Don’t go, Minnesota! Please, don’t go! We Giants fans NEED you! Without Minnesota, there’d be NOBODY my Giants could score offensive touchdowns against! ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/30 "2001-01-18T18:18:02Z")
We are by our very nature compassionate, Astorian. It is not our intention to deprive the unfortunate. We consider having to live in New York penance enough, such that a war criminal or a lawyer would more or less come out even. As stated originally, we expect “national” teams to hie hence, toot sweet, adios. Does Vermont have a team? (I empathize directly: as a child, I lived in Waco, Texas. Quiet little town, you never heard of it, nothing ever happens there. As a result, I was obliged to cheer for the Baylor Bears. It was rumored that the only reason Baylor fielded a team was Texas A&M players were too stupid to practice with tackling dummys.) ---
**Author:** ![Waldo24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ac91a4/32.png) [@Waldo24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waldo24)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/31 "2011-09-23T03:55:09Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Bob Zimmerman was from Minnesota. Bob Dylan is from New York. Bob Dylan was born as Bob Zimmerman, in Duluth. Ergo, We get to keep him. ---
**Author:** ![Waldo24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ac91a4/32.png) [@Waldo24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waldo24)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/32 "2011-09-23T04:04:28Z")
Hockey ---
**Author:** ![user\_hostile](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/user_hostile/32/474_2.png) [@user\_hostile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/user_hostile)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/33 "2011-09-23T04:07:37Z")
For a thread on secession, its above average. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/34 "2011-09-23T04:07:56Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![Lubricious\_Integument](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/82dd89/32.png) [@Lubricious\_Integument](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lubricious_Integument)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/35 "2011-09-23T04:26:00Z")
BRAINS! Ok, that’s out of the way. > [@elucidator](#): > > nm Your most thoughtful post so far. What about Northwest Angle? Any luck convincing the rest of Canada to join the US? ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/36 "2011-09-23T07:28:09Z")
I hope you manage it. If I write my dystopian screenplay about a post-taxation society that runs on user fees, exorbitant fines, and asset forfeiture, I will probably portray Minnesota as a haven from the crazy. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/37 "2011-09-23T08:40:48Z")
You were not seeing this issue clearly enough in your salad years, comrade **elucidator**. Clearly it is not Minnesota that should have seceded from the United States. Preposterous idea ! No. It is the membership of the 49 other mooches, hangers on, layabouts, vagabond, insane and downright impolite States that oughta been revoked permanently. Let them form their own secessionist and borderline treasonous federation while the United State of America prevails, immortal and unvanquished (albeit ever so slightly diminished area-wise) ! ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/38 "2011-09-23T10:24:30Z")
“Sensible, sincere and polite” folks live in Minnesota? I cite Michelle Bachmann. Looks like it’s only a handful of ya. 😉 I mean, it appears she has supporters, so S, S and P doesn’t seem that true to me. Besides, Mr. Ubetcha, your last name originates from the Alaskan Palin Campaign, not the Minnesota Crazy Eyes Campaign. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/39 "2011-09-23T11:17:50Z")
I would like to announce my candidacy for the president of Minnesota. If elected I will: 1. Build a wall between Minnesota and Wisconsin. 2. Put out the fire in the BWCA. 3. Let you buy booze on Sundays. In fact, I’ll do those things even if I’m not elected. TNETENNBA. FISHING FOR A BETTER MINNESOTA. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/40 "2011-09-23T11:20:26Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > 1. We’re right, they’re wrong Minnesota is to USA as Scandanavia is to Europe. Sensible, sincere, polite folks live here. The rest of the country is full of violent, bombastic yahoos, who knoweth not the ass from the hole in the ground. Reagan VS Mondale. Humphrey VS Nixon. Bush VS Gore Wait… aren’t y’all the state that inflicted Michelle Bachmann upon us? 1. That completely obviates the above quoted passage. 2. Makes your case for succession stronger. Let’s do it! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388.md?page=3)