# Resolved: Minnesota to secede from the Union! **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [January 16, 2001, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388 "2001-01-16T21:24:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/41 "2011-09-23T11:23:31Z")
If it disqualifies Michele Bachmann from running for President, I am strongly tempted to let you go. And with Garrison Keillor retiring from radio you could make him ambassador to the USA. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/42 "2011-09-23T12:36:19Z")
> [@Ptahlis](#): > > Weird Al has a great tune called “[The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKeHQpT5wVE)” on the UHF soundtrack. Always been one of my favorites, especially when I see cars going by with “touristy” stickers on 'em. Since YouTube hadn’t been invented yet when this thread was started back in 2001, I figure it’s fair to improve this quote with a link. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/43 "2011-09-23T13:11:06Z")
> [@](#): > > **JohnT** : The rest of the country is full of violent, bombastic yahoos, who knoweth not the ass from the hole in the ground. An ass is a _burro_. A hole in the ground is a _burrow_. – Nashville Yahoo (I’ve always thought I would like Minnesota, but now you’ve hurt my delicate feelings.) ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/44 "2011-09-23T13:19:17Z")
You know, I was going to mention in the Rick Perry thread how we had quite a few posters here, on the left, who advocated secession when GWB was president. But I didn’t, because I wanted to make sure **elucidator** didn’t think I was talking about him. Funny thing about zombies. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/45 "2011-09-23T13:20:49Z")
Ahhh, **Zoe** : you’re quoting **Elucidator** , not me. No wonder I was 😕 for a bit. ---
**Author:** ![Vita\_Beata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@Vita\_Beata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vita_Beata)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/46 "2011-09-23T13:35:38Z")
I’ll watch and see where this secessionist movement leads to. I’ve already hedged my bets with Wisconsin property right across the river, like a true middle of the road independent. Perhaps I’ll invest in a fireworks store in advance of the big secessionist celebration. ETA: No vote for Tnetennba and that dang wall! ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/47 "2011-09-23T16:14:22Z")
If you close the borders, make sure Bachmann is inside before you do. She belongs to you. If so, then secession is hereby granted. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/48 "2011-09-23T16:17:54Z")
> [@BlackKnight](#): > > 1. Every foreign dignitary is treated to a delicious meal of tuna casserole, a tall glass of milk, and corn (on cob, when in season). Those dignitaries from countries we don’t like get lutefisk. :mad: You mean, “Freedom Barf”! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/49 "2011-09-23T16:19:16Z")
> [@](#): > > We can also spend some of it on propaganda. “Yes, its terribly cold here! You’ll hate it, stay away! The blonde women aren’t really that good looking, their mom’s just feed them better here! And its cold! REALLY cold!” I think you’re lying eludidator. I suspect your women are the hottest in the U.S. and you’re advocating secession to keep them from the rest of us. Therefore I am moving to Minnesota and joining the revolution. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/50 "2011-09-23T16:26:56Z")
> [@Lubricious\_Integument](#): > > BRAINS! Ok, that’s out of the way. > > Your most thoughtful post so far. > > What about Northwest Angle? Any luck convincing the rest of Canada to join the US? I had a talk with the Canuckistani ambassador. They’ll go for it if we’ll change the size of all our football fields and make FBI agents wear Mountie uniforms. Oh, and the Happy Meal is now poutine. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/51 "2011-09-23T16:30:05Z")
> [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](#): > > I think you’re lying eludidator. I suspect your women are the hottest in the U.S. and you’re advocating secession to keep them from the rest of us. Therefore I am moving to Minnesota and joining the revolution. 😃 Or, you could cut out the middle and move to Sweden. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/52 "2011-09-23T16:39:03Z")
There used to be a female comedian from Minnesota. She said her family was from Norway. She said, “what kind of people move from Norway to a new country and find a place just as cold and miserable as the one they left”. Then she ate her lutefisk and left. ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/53 "2011-09-23T16:46:40Z")
> [@gonzomax](#): > > If you close the borders, make sure Bachmann is inside before you do. She belongs to you. > If so, then secession is hereby granted. No no no. As she is so fond of saying, she’s from Waterloo, IA. It’s time to send her back. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/54 "2011-09-23T17:04:43Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > We are by our very nature compassionate, Astorian. I had a few customers in the Minneapolis area. Both had to post signs on the doors asking employees not to carry their guns to work with them. Apparently it was a problem. Er, I’m not sure it’s THAT compassionate a place. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/55 "2011-09-23T18:11:46Z")
> [@Sterra](#): > > [T]hey are all cannibals and live in igloos where they pratice their cannibalism. All that practice, they’ve gotten quite good at it… ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/56 "2011-09-23T21:09:55Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Oh, and the Happy Meal is now poutine. We do not negociate with terrorists. ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/57 "2011-09-23T21:21:39Z")
Huh. All these years, and I never realized Minnesota was an actual State. I just thought it was the name for the western half of Wisconsin. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/58 "2011-09-23T21:24:26Z")
> [@BunnyGirl](#): > > Yah, yah, you and your “10,000” lakes. Big whoop! We don’t need you; Michigans has 12,000 to make up for your paltry 10. > > You are keepin’ all the skeeters, right? There will heavy import tarrifs from the rest of the US on skeeters. Minnesota (from DNR web page) Number of lakes: 11,842 (10+ acres) Michigan 11,037 “inland” Lakes, but does not define the minimum size that I can see. The DNR web page says “over 11,000 lakes and ponds” Hell, the city of Eagan MN where I live says; “Eagan has about 200 natural lakes and wetlands an acre or larger in size, and virtually all are part of a stormwater drainage system that includes over 1,200 natural and constructed waterbodies” _ **Minnesota: The American Canada** _ ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/59 "2011-09-23T21:50:40Z")
> [@tnetennba](#): > > 1. Let you buy booze on Sundays. I want to have your babies. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/60 "2011-09-23T22:31:01Z")
Well, **elucidator** , I’m afraid the existence of this thread could seriously damage your prospects of being elected President of the United States. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388.md?page=4)