# Resolved: Minnesota to secede from the Union! **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [January 16, 2001, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388 "2001-01-16T21:24:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/61 "2011-09-23T23:25:28Z")
Landlocked nations not Switzerland have a hard time on the international scene, Sault Ste Marie is a logistical and strategic choke point, something will have to be done about that… I had to give a Persuasive speech in college once and I picked invading Canada as my topic. I laid out the wealth in natural resources to be gained and the comparatively small force needed to take it. I addressed the international outcry this would cause and how it would be dealt with. I even had charts and maps for the primary and secondary targets of the initial bombing runs. The class really liked it but the professor criticized my use of the word ‘subjugate’. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/62 "2011-09-24T01:06:17Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > Well, **elucidator** , I’m afraid the existence of this thread could seriously damage your prospects of being elected President of the United States. Hey, it was like, ten years ago! Youthful indiscretion! ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/63 "2011-09-24T01:24:47Z")
“youth”? It is to laugh. ---
**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/64 "2011-09-24T02:19:24Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Hey, it was like, ten years ago! Youthful indiscretion! I think he’s commenting on the fact in ten years you’ve failed to follow through with your plan. No ones going to elect an underachiever, well unless you want to run on the GOP ticket. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/65 "2011-09-24T02:25:48Z")
> [@boytyperanma](#): > > No ones going to elect an underachiever… But who else does Minnesota have to offer? Except The Hump. Dude was totally uncharacteristic. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/66 "2011-09-24T02:36:27Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > “youth”? It is to laugh. Its commonly said that the good die young, but it isn’t true. We get just as old as anybody else, we just look so much better doing it. ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/67 "2011-09-24T03:13:14Z")
I’ve read this little conceit from our friend from the northern boarder with some concern. I have held my tongue but now feel that I must speak out against the ambitions of my neighbors to the north. In my childhood a refuge for the afflicted of Europe was established in the Mideast. In just a few generations it has become the Prussia of the Levant. I see the same thing happening to the North Star State. They my seem like self effacing Rubes now but there is in them an impulse to expansion and empire. Where would they turn to satisfy that hunger. Wisconsin is protected by defensible rivers and a tendency toward dairy products. The Dakotas likewise have a defensible boarder that could be easily fortified and in the last measure of resistance the dikes on the Red River of the North could be opened to creating a water barrier by flooding. Beside that, what point is there to the conquest of the Dakotas since the major population centers are already peopled by expatriate Minnesotans fled there to enjoy the tax free flesh pots of Sioux Fall and Fargo. That leaves only the Canadian prairies (which are even colder than Bemidji) and the fruited plains of the Hawkeye State as a separatist Minnesota’s prey. The choice is obvious. Iowa must become Minnesota’s West Bank. If Iowa falls to these modern Vikings then the balance of the Upper Mississippi Valley will surely follow as far as the Arkansas River because there is nothing to stop them. My friends, do you want the heartland of the nation occupied, peppered with armed settlements of Gophers (or Badgers or what ever rural rodent they worship) by a people who put cook tuna in a casserole and actually pretend to like hockey? Such an expansion is the natural and proximate consequence of the expansion of the Big Ten and the demise of the Floyd of Rosedale rivalry. Oh, woe, oh, doom. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/68 "2011-09-24T04:11:04Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Minnesota (from DNR web page) > > Number of lakes: > 11,842 (10+ acres) > > Michigan > > 11,037 “inland” Lakes, but does not define the minimum size that I can see. > The DNR web page says “over 11,000 lakes and ponds” > > Hell, the city of Eagan MN where I live says; > > “Eagan has about 200 natural lakes and wetlands an acre or larger in size, and virtually all are part of a stormwater drainage system that includes over 1,200 natural and constructed waterbodies” > _ **Minnesota: The American Canada** _ You could put all those ponds inside one of out great lakes. Buy a boat, drive in a circle lakes. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/69 "2011-09-24T04:17:48Z")
> [@user\_hostile](#): > > For a thread on secession, its above average. All Minnesotans are above average, even for Minnesotans! ---
**Author:** ![Naxos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/50afbb/32.png) [@Naxos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Naxos)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388/70 "2011-09-24T06:08:43Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > **What do we want? Secession! When do we want it! Well, pretty soon if its not too much trouble!** Can you please move to Texas and do the same thing there? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/resolved-minnesota-to-secede-from-the-union/50388.md?page=3)