# Responses to compliments **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 2, 2008, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/responses-to-compliments/447779 "2008-05-02T17:18:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Monstera\_deliciosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monstera_deliciosa/32/109_2.png) [@Monstera\_deliciosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstera_deliciosa)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/responses-to-compliments/447779/1 "2008-05-02T17:18:32Z")
When you receive a compliment about something you are wearing or something you own, how do you respond? When you give a compliment about someone’s clothes or possessions, what do you expect? In my case, the response is usually an enthusiastic “Thank you,” but nothing more. But I often get the feeling that I’m leaving the compliment-giver hanging, conversation-wise. It seems like they expect more information, like where I purchased the item, or how I feel about the item, or something. Granted, I’m not the best conversationalist in the world, but going on and on about my stuff just seems odd. ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/responses-to-compliments/447779/2 "2008-05-02T17:20:11Z")
My sister responds to compliments about clothing by just saying where she got them. “Cute capris, Cariccisister!” “Target!” You could try that. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/responses-to-compliments/447779/3 "2008-05-02T17:22:59Z")
“Thank you” is a perfectly appropriate response. If they want more information, they should ask for it. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/responses-to-compliments/447779/4 "2008-05-02T17:25:01Z")
Depends on the situation. I’ve had strangers in the elevator compliment me on my shoes or something, and then I usually just smile and say thank you. If a girlfriend compliments me, I’ll say thank you and say something about where I got the object in question; if a guyfriend compliments me I’ll say thank you and make some lewd joke (because usually they only compliment me when I’m wearing something scandalous). The one kind of compliment I never handle well is the one about my singing. For some reason it always embarasses me - maybe because I’m shy about doing it in public, and my friends usually have to get me fairly drunk before I’ll grab a mike at karaoke. Sometimes people come up to me afterwards and comment favorably - I usually just blush and squirm. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/responses-to-compliments/447779/5 "2008-05-02T17:29:18Z")
A simple thank you is perfectly polite and appropriate, but it’s good to keep in mind that often someone will compliment you as a means of _making conversation_. If you’re interested in maintaining a conversation with this person, then feel free to comment on whatever they’ve complimented you on. What do \*you \* like about it? Was it a great find? Your favorite color? No need to go on and on, but just indicate that you’re open to further conversation. Of course, if you’re not, stick with “Thank you!” ---
**Author:** ![minlokwat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minlokwat/32/2844_2.png) [@minlokwat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minlokwat)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/responses-to-compliments/447779/6 "2008-05-02T17:37:52Z")
My default response is set at: “Thank you. You are very kind.” ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/responses-to-compliments/447779/7 "2008-05-02T18:24:24Z")
The last compliment I got: Random Woman: “Oooh I love your shoes!” Me: “Thank you. So do I!” RW: “Can I ask you where you got them?” Me: “Oooh, I wish I could remember. Maybe Steinmart? They’re my ‘awesome deal’ of last summer.” RW: “Yeah, I love that place. They’re really nice.” Me: “Thanks again!” I hate it when people ask and I can’t remember. Just shows how few opportunities I get to shop. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![FreeByAnyMeans](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/96bed5/32.png) [@FreeByAnyMeans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreeByAnyMeans)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/responses-to-compliments/447779/8 "2008-05-02T18:26:25Z")
“Thanks, I made it myself,” is my usual response. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/responses-to-compliments/447779/9 "2008-05-02T18:42:16Z")
Weird ones for me are when people compliment my possessions; “you have a nice car, house, etc.” Thank you. I guess. This one has gotten a little easier. The hardest, though, is, “your wife is really pretty!” I’m flattered, but A) did you expect her to be a hag? and B) how do I respond to that? Thank you, as if she’s my car? ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/responses-to-compliments/447779/10 "2008-05-02T19:12:34Z")
“I like your shoes!” \ “Aren’t they great?” or maybe “$5 at Payless!” Since I used to say some variant of “Shut up, liar” or “Yeah, right”, I’ve come a long way. The most interesting compliment I ever got was “You’re very beautiful in the face”. This may have been true at the time (20 years ago), but I took it as “but your body’s too fat”. I think it may have been meant that way because it was a guy pal, not some guy interested in me. So my response was “I know I’m too fat.” ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/responses-to-compliments/447779/11 "2008-05-02T19:22:38Z")
[QUOTE=Cisco] The hardest, though, is, “your wife is really pretty!” I’m flattered, but A) did you expect her to be a hag? and B) how do I respond to that? Thank you, as if she’s my car? [/QUOTE] “Target!” ---
**Author:** ![Monstera\_deliciosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monstera_deliciosa/32/109_2.png) [@Monstera\_deliciosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstera_deliciosa)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/responses-to-compliments/447779/12 "2008-05-02T19:44:15Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] “I like your shoes!” \ “Aren’t they great?” or maybe “$5 at Payless!” [/QUOTE] I still think _thank you_ is appropriate here (then followed by your other responses, if you want). Most people don’t make their own clothing and accessories, and everybody knows this. So in effect, the compliment is to your good taste in picking them out. > [@DianaG](#): > > A simple thank you is perfectly polite and appropriate, but it’s good to keep in mind that often someone will compliment you as a means of making conversation. If you’re interested in maintaining a conversation with this person, then feel free to comment on whatever they’ve complimented you on. What do you like about it? Was it a great find? Your favorite color? No need to go on and on, but just indicate that you’re open to further conversation. I’m sure you’re right about it being a conversation gambit in many cases. And if I’m talking to someone I just met, I probably should flesh out my response for that reason. And, to bring in **HazelNutCoffee** ’s point, I’d likely share shopping info, or whatever, with close friends. But just as often, I get that _thank you is not enough_ vibe from the kind of acquaintance (a co-worker for example) who doesn’t need to fish for a topic of conversation. > [@Cisco](#): > > The hardest, though, is, “your wife is really pretty!” I’m flattered, but A) did you expect her to be a hag? and B) how do I respond to that? Thank you, as if she’s my car? Well, there is a lot of ground between _really pretty_ and _hag_. IMO, a good response “Yeah, she is, isn’t she? I’m a lucky man” or something similar. The _lucky man_ thing might sound a little corny, but you get my drift. You acknowledge the sentiment without taking ownership. ---
**Author:** ![Monstera\_deliciosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monstera_deliciosa/32/109_2.png) [@Monstera\_deliciosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstera_deliciosa)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/responses-to-compliments/447779/13 "2008-05-02T19:45:33Z")
[QUOTE=pravnik] “Target!” [/QUOTE] or “$5 at Payless!” ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/responses-to-compliments/447779/14 "2008-05-02T19:49:27Z")
[QUOTE=KayElCee] Well, there is a lot of ground between _really pretty_ and _hag_. IMO, a good response “Yeah, she is, isn’t she? I’m a lucky man” or something similar. The _lucky man_ thing might sound a little corny, but you get my drift. You acknowledge the sentiment without taking ownership. [/QUOTE] And given that this is likely to be as much a conversation starter as a compliment, this is an excellent time to add a sentence about your wife’s other talents, whatever they may be. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/responses-to-compliments/447779/15 "2008-05-02T20:06:43Z")
My default is thank you, but sometimes I feel funny accepting a compliment on someone else’s handiwork. (Unless that handiwork is my parents’s donated genetics, in which case thanks is the only appropriate response.) If the compliment is on, say, an article of clothing, I’ll agree that it’s nice and I’m glad I found it. If I’m in the mood for conversation, I’ll talk about where I got it, and then transition into normal conversation from there. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/responses-to-compliments/447779/16 "2008-05-02T20:07:49Z")
[QUOTE=Eureka] And given that this is likely to be as much a conversation starter as a compliment, this is an excellent time to add a sentence about your wife’s other talents, whatever they may be. [/QUOTE] “Thanks! You know, she gives the best blowjobs…” ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/responses-to-compliments/447779/17 "2008-05-02T20:08:53Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] “Thanks! You know, she gives the best blowjobs…” [/QUOTE] “The ones your wife give pale in comparison.” ---
**Author:** ![MissGypsy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8491ac/32.png) [@MissGypsy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissGypsy)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/responses-to-compliments/447779/18 "2008-05-02T23:10:23Z")
[QUOTE=Cisco] The hardest, though, is, “your wife is really pretty!” I’m flattered, but A) did you expect her to be a hag? and B) how do I respond to that? Thank you, as if she’s my car? [/QUOTE] I get a lot of “Oh, your kids are so cute!” which I can handle. But when someone says, “Oh, your kids look just like you!” then “Thank you” seems a little weird. I like to think it’s a compliment, but it’s really just a comment. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/responses-to-compliments/447779/19 "2008-05-02T23:17:30Z")
I say, “Aw, you’re just saying that 'cause it’s true.” ---
**Author:** ![JackofHearts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8c91f0/32.png) [@JackofHearts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackofHearts)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/responses-to-compliments/447779/20 "2008-05-02T23:30:21Z")
The one I’ve never found a perfect, polite response to that doens’t sound silly to me is when I am out in public in uniform and someone comes up to me and says “thanks for your service to our country.” “You’re welcome” sounds a bit hollow…I have never come up with a satisfactory (to me) answer to that one… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/responses-to-compliments/447779.md?page=2)