# Rest In Peace Dad. You Were A Great Father
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rest-in-peace-dad-you-were-a-great-father/239397
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [April 10, 2004, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rest-in-peace-dad-you-were-a-great-father/239397 "2004-04-10T23:58:27Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)
#### Post date: [April 10, 2004, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rest-in-peace-dad-you-were-a-great-father/239397/1 "2004-04-10T23:58:27Z")
My father passed away last Saturday after several years of being ill with Alzheimer’s, diabetes and heart problems. As hard as it was to see him go, I am glad that he is at peace now. I am also glad for all those weekends I went to see him over the past five years. See, I live two and a half hours away from my parents and family. I spent a lot of weekends going up there to see about the folks and to spend time with my father, especially since he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. To me it was important that I held onto who he was as long as possible. Fortunately, Alzhheimer’s didn’t totally get him in the end. It was his heart that finally gave out.
Dad was in the hospital at Emory University in Atlanta, GA for some surgery on his lungs. One of the problems that he faced was a fluid buildup in his left lung. He had had fluid drawn from his left lung at least twice a month for the last four years. However, his doctor in my hometown felt it best that he have the surgery to clear his left lung hoping that that would stop the build up. We knew at the time the had a 40 - 50 percent chance of not surviving the surgery, but that he wouldn’t survive with this continual fluid buildup either. He came through the surgery fine, but given the possibility of complications following surgery, he didn’t make it. He had a massive heart attack the day after the surgery and was in intensive care for four days. Last Saturday morning his doctor spoke with my mom, my sister and me and told us that his heart was functioning at 10 percent, his kidneys had ceased to function and that there was minimal brainwave functioning. Dad never wanted to be kept alive artificially, so the decision was made to let him go in peace. He died surrounded by my mother, my sister, my brothers, my nieces and nephew and me. May God rest his soul.
He was a great dad. We fought. We argued. We had big differences. But yet, he loved me. Loved me even when I told him that I’m gay. My conservative father accepted me for who I was, not for who he might have wanted me to be. That’s a great dad. All he wanted is for me to be happy and have a good life.
Mom and dad were married for almost 58 years. My mom is a rock. She looked after my dad through almost 10 years of illness. I spoke with their primary doctor last Monday by phone. He said to me that dad had the very best caregiver in my mother. He told me he was constantly amazed at her devotion in making sure that he ate what he needed, took medications he needed and in her willingness to put up with doctors, hospitilizations and so forth. Mom’s last words to dad were, “It’s time for you to go. We had a good life. We raised five great kids and had a great marriage. I love you.” Her exact words. We wrote them down so that we could remember them.
Goodbye dad. Thanks for being a great father. I love you now and forever.
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### Author:  [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2004, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rest-in-peace-dad-you-were-a-great-father/239397/2 "2004-04-11T00:00:40Z")
Your father was a good man.
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### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2004, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rest-in-peace-dad-you-were-a-great-father/239397/3 "2004-04-11T00:04:13Z")
What a beautiful tribute, swampbear, it moved me to tears.
I am glad your father is now at peace.
Joan
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### Author:  [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2004, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rest-in-peace-dad-you-were-a-great-father/239397/4 "2004-04-11T00:11:04Z")
oh, **swampbear** , I’m so glad that you had a such a wonderful father. I’m glad he went the way he did- surrounded by his loving family. And your mother’s last words to him having me dripping tears on the keyboard.
God bless him, and you.
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### Author:  [@Ashkicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashkicker)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2004, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rest-in-peace-dad-you-were-a-great-father/239397/5 "2004-04-11T00:11:47Z")
I am so sorry for your loss. I know what you are going through. It’s hard to see someone you love go downhill. I just recently lost both of my in-laws and they were married 58yrs. It is so tough. I never spoke about it in a thread before because it is just too hurtful. This quote is from Robert Louis Stevenson, my husband ended his dad’s eulogy with it.
> [@](#):
>
> “That man is successful who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much, who has gained the respect of the intelligent men and the love of children; who has filled his niche and accomplished his task; who leaves the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul; who never lacked appreciation of earths beauty or failed to express it; who looked for the best in others and gave the best he had”
Hugs to you **swampbear**.
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### Author:  [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2004, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rest-in-peace-dad-you-were-a-great-father/239397/6 "2004-04-11T00:24:05Z")
**Bosda, Shirley (Joan), Lissla, Ashkicker** thanks. He was a great man. **Ashkicker** that quote from Robert Louis Stevenson describes my father perfectly.
Thanks to you all for the words of kindness and the hugs. My father is truly at peace now.
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### Author:  [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2004, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rest-in-peace-dad-you-were-a-great-father/239397/7 "2004-04-11T01:47:50Z")
Hugs, **Swampbear**. I lost my mom after a long, protracted illness myself. I know how bittersweet it is.
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### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2004, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rest-in-peace-dad-you-were-a-great-father/239397/8 "2004-04-11T01:53:23Z")
He sounds like he was a terrific father, and I know, having met you, that he raised a terrific son. What a blessing that you had the time you did with him.
You have my condolences and my hugs.
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### Author:  [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2004, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rest-in-peace-dad-you-were-a-great-father/239397/9 "2004-04-11T01:57:55Z")
You have my sympathies. A loss like that must be terrible. I’m glad to know, though, that you had such a wonderful person for a father.
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### Author:  [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2004, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rest-in-peace-dad-you-were-a-great-father/239397/10 "2004-04-11T01:59:11Z")
My condolonces **Swampbear**. I’ll send good thoughts your way, and prayers. Hope you find some peace, and eventually heal. Take care of yourself, and don’t overextend. Greif takes lots of energy.
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### Author:  [@LolaBaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaBaby)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2004, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rest-in-peace-dad-you-were-a-great-father/239397/11 "2004-04-11T02:23:27Z")
My condolences, **swampbear**.
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### Author:  [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2004, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rest-in-peace-dad-you-were-a-great-father/239397/12 "2004-04-11T03:11:06Z")
Swampbear, glad you had him. Glad he had you.
God, but he must have loved those weekends you visited. He must have just loved those!
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### Author:  [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2004, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rest-in-peace-dad-you-were-a-great-father/239397/13 "2004-04-11T03:13:56Z")
I’m sorry for your loss, **swampbear**. I know what losing your father is like.
_hugs_
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### Author:  [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2004, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rest-in-peace-dad-you-were-a-great-father/239397/14 "2004-04-11T04:40:09Z")
My sincere condolences. I was at my father’s bedside with my four siblings and my mother when my father died of lung cancer. Like yours, it was a bittersweet monment, saying goodbye to someone who loved us all, but glad he was no longer suffering. A loving father is one of life’s great treasures.
StG
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### Author:  [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2004, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rest-in-peace-dad-you-were-a-great-father/239397/15 "2004-04-11T05:33:32Z")
My condolences to you and the rest of your family. Having lost my dad, I truly do feel for all those who have lost a beloved parent. It sounds like your dad lived life fully, with a strong family that will carry on his legacy.
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### Author:  [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2004, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rest-in-peace-dad-you-were-a-great-father/239397/16 "2004-04-11T05:47:40Z")
I’m really sorry, **swampbear**. It sounds like you were as good a son as he was a dad.
My boss, who had been very much a mentor to me in many ways, just died this morning. It’s rough.
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### Author:  [@Venoma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Venoma)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2004, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rest-in-peace-dad-you-were-a-great-father/239397/17 "2004-04-11T06:34:16Z")
I am so happy for you, that you had such a wonderful father in your life.
_hugs_
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### Author:  [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2004, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rest-in-peace-dad-you-were-a-great-father/239397/18 "2004-04-11T08:11:49Z")
Oh **swampy** , I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ll keep your family in my thoughts.
Bright blessings and hugs, darlin’.
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### Author:  [@robgruver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robgruver)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2004, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rest-in-peace-dad-you-were-a-great-father/239397/19 "2004-04-11T15:40:39Z")
You are very lucky to have someone as great as that man in your life. Add to that what is an incredible mother as well… Blessed be my friend, and may your father rest well.
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### Author:  [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2004, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rest-in-peace-dad-you-were-a-great-father/239397/20 "2004-04-11T16:21:36Z")
Losing a loved one is a deep sadness. My thoughts go out to you. My father passed in December. He was a good man and a good father. Sending warm thoughts your way.
Sending warm thoughts your way.
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