# Restaurant Authenticity FAILS **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 8, 2019, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-authenticity-fails/838348 "2019-08-08T14:37:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2019, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-authenticity-fails/838348/81 "2019-08-12T18:59:34Z")
> [@bump](#): > > That’s actually a real dish?!? > > I was just trying to make a list of pizza toppings that sounded Russian and unappetizing. Oh, yeah. I challenge you to find a restaurant in Russia that doesn’t have it on the menu as a salad/appetizer/starter. You can buy it in supermarkets too, prefabricated in little plastic tubs or scooped up from a tray. > **[Russian Herring Salad Covered in Beets (Fur Coat)](https://www.thespruceeats.com/russian-herring-under-fur-coat-salad-recipe-1137331)** > > This traditional recipe for Russian herring under fur coat, known as shuba or seledka pod shuboi, is a salad of beets, potatoes, carrots, and eggs. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2019, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-authenticity-fails/838348/82 "2019-08-12T19:28:54Z")
I had a pizza in China many years ago. The sauce was red but otherwise not resembling any tomato-like characteristics. The cheese tasted most like someone had drizzled sourdough starter on top, otherwise we were at a total loss as to what the substance might really be. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Anconia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@D\_Anconia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Anconia)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2019, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-authenticity-fails/838348/83 "2019-08-12T19:59:14Z")
> [@mtnmatt](#): > > New to California, I went with my colleagues to a Japanese shopping plaza in Costa Mesa for its food court. One option was called “Italian Tomato” and it seemed most likely to have something my less-than-adventurous self would find appealing, and potentially like food I’d get at home in NY. I guess I got some kind of pasta with red sauce and it was terrible. I had Italian food in Paris (my bad) and it wasn’t good. Also a cheeseburger at an American style joint and the beef tasted, um, differently. ---
**Author:** ![TimfromNapa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d26b3c/32.png) [@TimfromNapa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimfromNapa)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2019, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-authenticity-fails/838348/84 "2019-08-12T20:44:24Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > don’t forget the cigarette butts! Chase it down with enough vodka and it is great. If you drink enough to throw up, so much the better. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2019, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-authenticity-fails/838348/85 "2019-08-12T21:38:45Z")
> [@WolfpackJeep](#): > > It’s also a THING in some pockets of Maine. It’s surprisingly tasty: barbecue sauce in place of pizza sauce, pieces of grilled chicken, small slices of red onion, and a light topping of cheese. I think the trick may be selecting pieces of chicken that are just large enough to survive the extra cooking time on top of the pizza. Pizza Hut has Backyard BBQ Chicken Pizza on their menu so I’m pretty sure it is a THING everywhere in the US. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2019, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-authenticity-fails/838348/86 "2019-08-12T22:19:58Z")
I was in a barbecue joint in rural Arkansas that had _fresh catfish_ on the menu. A friend of mine ordered it against my recommendation, we were in barbecue joint for God’s sake. The waitress came back 20 minutes later and asked if he could order something else. The fish was frozen to the wall of the freezer and wouldn’t come loose. ---
**Author:** ![Balthisar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/balthisar/32/2825_2.png) [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2019, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-authenticity-fails/838348/87 "2019-08-13T00:04:12Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Never pay to eat hot dogs someplace that does not have (a) an outfield or (b) at least 6 motorcycles in the parking lot. I really hate hot dogs, unless they’re from a Coney Island. Then you know it’s not just lips and assholes, but _also_ cow hearts. I’m saying that unironically. I’ll let interested readers Google that. > [@joebuck20](#): > > I was traveling through Mexico years ago and was in the mood for a hamburger. Saw a market stall that had it on the menu, and I decided to order one. > > It was literally a piece of ham with some breading on it served between two buns. That’s, uh, unusual. In fact, ham is kind of unusual in Mexico. The only place I can remember having it is a restaurant in Valenciana, Guanajuato. On the other hand, many years ago, there was a restaurant in Manzanillo, Colima, Mexico that was named “Hamburguesas sin Microbios” (hamburgers without microbes) that made pretty damned good hamburgers. I didn’t get sick, so I guess their name was accurate. > [@pulykamell](#): > > Yeah, I see this a lot in Yelp reviews, and it drives me a little nuts. The main one that comes to mind is some reviewer bitching about an excellent pizza restaurant as not making “real pizza” or some such nonsense because there was hardly any sauce on it, and the sauce tasted like plain tomato sauce, and that it was too light on the cheese. I’m always conscientious when I review pizza places on Yelp, because not every place serves perfect, Detroit-style pizza. Therefore I always point out, I’m not a fan of this style of pizza, and it’s awesome anyway (Chicago, but not Chicago-style), or I’m not a fan of this pizza, and it sucks (Chicago style), or I’m not of fan of this pizza, and I don’t see the big deal (NYC), or I’m not a fan of this style but it was freaking awesome (local brick oven place), and try to detail the experience will have aside from the pizza. The Chicago style at Pizza Uno sucks, plain and simple. It was a fantastic restaurant, though, and as long as you order something besides Chicago style, you’ll have a great time. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2019, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-authenticity-fails/838348/88 "2019-08-13T01:50:02Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Oh, yeah. I challenge you to find a restaurant in Russia that doesn’t have it on the menu as a salad/appetizer/starter. > > You can buy it in supermarkets too, prefabricated in little plastic tubs or scooped up from a tray. > > [Russian Herring Under Fur Coat Salad (Shuba) Recipe](https://www.thespruceeats.com/russian-herring-under-fur-coat-salad-recipe-1137331) That’s like what pimento cheese spread would be like in the Upside Down… ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2019, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-authenticity-fails/838348/89 "2019-08-13T05:16:01Z")
English pizza. Pineapple is still weird but ok, it’s a thing else ware. Sprouts though? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2019, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-authenticity-fails/838348/90 "2019-08-13T11:27:53Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Yeah, I see this a lot in Yelp reviews, and it drives me a little nuts. The main one that comes to mind is some reviewer bitching about an excellent pizza restaurant as not making “real pizza” or some such nonsense because there was hardly any sauce on it, and the sauce tasted like plain tomato sauce, and that it was too light on the cheese. (And probably complaining about the flecks of char on the crust, too.) And I’m sitting here scratching my head thinking, dude, you’re at a fucking Neapolitan-style pizza restaurant. That is _exactly_ what they’re supposed to be serving. This is a big part of why I think “authentic” is a weird thing to pursue. That reviewer clearly didn’t like this kind of pizza, and that’s totally fine. Instead of complaining about how it wasn’t real, she should’ve complained about how there wasn’t enough sauce for her tastes. And if you’re more looking for adventurous eating, not something you know you’ll like, authenticity still isn’t much help: instead, you should look for places with interesting menus. Authenticity seems both reductive and beside the point. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2019, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-authenticity-fails/838348/91 "2019-08-13T11:53:07Z")
I once ate at an “American”-style restaurant in Scotland called “Uncle Buck’s” The cuisine was pretty much American (although the meat was kinda gristly), but the “fail” part was the “chocolate” syrup they used on their sundae. I’m not sure what it was, but it was definitely the wrong color for chocolate. Wrong taste, too. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2019, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-authenticity-fails/838348/92 "2019-08-13T12:01:10Z")
What many of these stories prove is that, “In the land of the blind, the one-eyed is king.” When a cuisine is introduced into a country in which it has been previously unknown, some pretty poor restaurants can get away with some pretty poor food. ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2019, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-authenticity-fails/838348/93 "2019-08-13T12:26:29Z")
After a late night of drinking in Acapulco we ordered an “authentic Italian” pizza to our villa. It looked awful and tasted worse. Pretty sure it was processed cheese, ketchup, sliced up hot dogs, on a soggy thin crust. Listen, I love pizza and will eat pretty much any incarnation… but this was so gross I could barely take a couple of bites without gagging. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2019, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-authenticity-fails/838348/94 "2019-08-13T12:41:12Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > “Steak sandwich” is such a vague term that you never know what you’ll get, and there’s many acceptable versions. The version sold under that name at the Brat House in Kenosha, for instance, [isn’t really that much different](http://gwiv.com/BratStop20.jpg). When I was in boot camp at Great Lakes, for boot liberty about six of us went to Kenosha because it was close but not as expensive (we hoped) as Chicago. When we got there, we went our various ways and joined up several hours later. The guy from Philadelphia spotted me and came galloping up. “Hey! I was in this diner and I ordered a steak sandwich—” “—and it was one hunk of meat on a round bun,” I interrupted. “A thin slice of ribeye if you were lucky.” “Yeah! How did you know?” “That’s what most of the country _expects_ when they order a steak sandwich. You should have seen me the first time I had one in Philly!” ---
**Author:** ![Smid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/838e76/32.png) [@Smid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smid)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2019, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-authenticity-fails/838348/95 "2019-08-13T12:45:20Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I had perhaps the worst burger of my life in 1996 from some kiosk in Wolverhampton’s city center. I have no idea what this weirdly pink, mushy/mealy sandwich was, but it was not a hamburger as advertised. Mr Sizzle. We live in Wolverhampton. Mr Sizzle is a trap set late at night, and around the football matches, to catch the unwary and drunk. It is almost like a soberness machine, you never forget your first and only Mr Sizzle burger, because you’ll remember it forever. Horrible. ---
**Author:** ![Smid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/838e76/32.png) [@Smid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smid)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2019, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-authenticity-fails/838348/96 "2019-08-13T12:47:58Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > When I lived in Europe in the 80s, it was almost impossible to find an edible hamburger in a restaurant that wasn’t an American chain. I’m not sure what they put in them, but it wasn’t beef. Mr Wimpy’s Quarter Pounder and Cheese is still my favourite burger. Over Five Guys and the Ilk. The chain was bought out by Burger King in the early 90s, half of the restaurants got converted to BK, and I think the brand was sold off. They exist in the south of London still and some weird spots (disappeared from Service stations), but I live 100 miles from any of them. Still miss 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Smid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/838e76/32.png) [@Smid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smid)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2019, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-authenticity-fails/838348/97 "2019-08-13T13:08:27Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > English pizza. Pineapple is still weird but ok, it’s a thing else ware. Sprouts though? I’ve lived in England (largely, here and there), for the last thirty years. I’ve never seen Brussels sprouts on Pizza. Or Bean Sprouts. So that’s not “English pizza”. Or at least, not in England. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2019, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-authenticity-fails/838348/98 "2019-08-13T13:59:25Z")
> [@Smid](#): > > Mr Wimpy’s Quarter Pounder and Cheese is still my favourite burger. Over Five Guys and the Ilk. do they let you pay on Tuesday for a hamburger today? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2019, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-authenticity-fails/838348/99 "2019-08-13T14:22:18Z")
The weirdest thing I’ve had on pizza is hearts-of-palm in Argentina, but it wasn’t bad at all. But with a large Italian immigrant population, Argentinian pizza is usually great. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2019, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-authenticity-fails/838348/100 "2019-08-13T15:22:51Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Cheesesteaks do not work that way! > > But seriously, I’ve only ever found one place outside of the Delaware valley that makes a reasonable approximation of a Philadelphia cheesesteak (a sandwich shop in Bozeman, MT, just off of campus). Which is also the one place I’ve found outside of the Delaware valley that doesn’t call their steak sandwich a “Philly steak”. I asked the folks there about it once, and they said “Oh, no, we don’t make a Philly style steak. We don’t put lettuce and tomatoes and mayo on it.”. Yes, exactly. The actual Philadelphia cheesesteak is really, really simple, and yet everyone still manages to get it wrong. Word. To begin with, they never use Philly cream cheese (or even a store-brand/generic cream cheese). It’s always Cheez-Whiz, or something similar. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-authenticity-fails/838348.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-authenticity-fails/838348.md?page=6)