Restaurant gives family "Well-behaved kids" discount

[lorene]

@even_sven

And it’s inevitable that there will be discrimination. Racial stereotyping is deeply imbedded in the food service industry (look up conversations on “Canadians”) and there is no doubt that to some wait staff, what is “adorably precocious” in, say, a white child, will be interpreted as “loud and inappropriate” when done by a child of another race.

Or perhaps what would be seen as absolutely adorable when done by a black child (oh, rapping, for example) would be seen as “white trash”-y when done by a white child.

[even_sven]

@lorene

Or perhaps what would be seen as absolutely adorable when done by a black child (oh, rapping, for example) would be seen as “white trash”-y when done by a white child.

Ok, sure. Do we need to extend this to Samoans and Laplanders, or can we trust that people can extrapolate from an example?

[eclectic_wench]

@lorene

In the cases where waitstaff or store clerks have wanted to reward my kids with something, they have always asked my permission first, making sure that the kids can’t hear in case I say no.

I appreciate the chance to grant or deny permission, but I can’t see being offended. That, to me, is along the lines of, “How dare you hold the door open for me? I have arms that work!” No good deed goes unpunished.

I wouldn’t be offended at all - they’d obviously be aiming to do something nice. But if they didn’t check with me or my husband first, just showed up with ice cream and gave it to my kid, then yeah, I’d be mildly pissed off.

[rowrrbazzle]

@even_sven

And it’s inevitable that there will be discrimination. Racial stereotyping is deeply imbedded in the food service industry (look up conversations on “Canadians”) and there is no doubt that to some wait staff, what is “adorably precocious” in, say, a white child, will be interpreted as “loud and inappropriate” when done by a child of another race.

And it’s inevitable there will be false accusations of discrimination.

[even_sven]

@rowrrbazzle

And it’s inevitable there will be false accusations of discrimination.

Okay. Both real and perceived discrimination is a good example of why it’s a little dangerous for businesses to base their pricing off of subjective off-the-cuff assessments of how amiable your staff happens to feel towards your patron’s kids.

(Again, I have no problem if this was a one-off thing by a nice waiter, but I’d be uncomfortable if it was an official policy).

[April_R]

My kids got free candy at a gas station once because the clerk (I suspect she was also the owner) thought they were so well behaved that they deserved a reward. I was grateful, but also realized that their behavior was even better than usual that one time, and for a few weeks afterwards they thought all gas stations gave out free candy. :rolleyes:

[lorene]

@even_sven

Ok, sure. Do we need to extend this to Samoans and Laplanders, or can we trust that people can extrapolate from an example?

I don’t know. Can we? You seemed more invested in making the point that white kids would benefit, so I felt it necessary to point out an alternate scenario.

[even_sven]

@lorene

I don’t know. Can we? You seemed more invested in making the point that white kids would benefit, so I felt it necessary to point out an alternate scenario.

I’m sorry, precious. Did I hurt your delicate feelings by implying that if we can’t fervently pretend to live in a post-racial world where all accusations of racism are false ploys, we can at least talk frankly about the most likely ways accusations of racism would play out?

It’s okay, darling, you are a special snowflake who can experience racism, too! (Of course, statistically it’s much less likely to happen and most likely won’t be accompanied power dynamics…but, it happens!)

[BigT]

I’d not appreciate the cost of my food being increased by that much. This $4 would go to 99% of all parents who bring in kids, since most are well-behaved, and we just notice those who aren’t. It would also seem to increase the number of kids being brought in so that people could get the discount.

And, as stated above, it’s a recipe for creating complaints. It seems to be a lose-lose proposition. I think an adults-only restaurant would work out better for those who want avoid bad kids.

[Rushgeekgirl]

@even_sven

Count me as another who would rather not feel like every rando on the street making a public display of how they judge my child raising skills.

This times ten. It’s not so much a discount for good behavior as a charge for what some server considers bad behavior. I am a paying customer. If my child makes whoop-whoop noises and has a little trouble staying still during a meal, it’s not because she has bad behavior it’s because she has autism and can’t help it. I have never taken her to a restaurant that wasn’t family-friendly so maybe that’s why I don’t get this. Plus children don’t bother me. They move. They make noise. That’s NORMAL. Expecting them to behave is not wrong, but giving parents a reward for what should have been the case in the first place makes no sense to me. How do servers know how to judge bad behavior from self-stimming. What if the server doesn’t like kids at all? What if the server gives the discount to every parent in hopes of a bigger tip?
I doubt this is a real policy anyway, but if it is, it’s wrong.

[Rushgeekgirl]

@rowrrbazzle

As I posted on Reddit, it’s inevitable that some parents who don’t get the discount will accuse the restaurant of discrimination due to race, religion, or some other factor.

Yes and the accusation may be founded in truth too.