# Restaurant Rules to Live By **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 18, 2011, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093 "2011-03-18T00:40:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/221 "2011-03-22T22:57:25Z")
> [@Zakalwe](#): > > Good general rule, but the best Maine lobster I have ever had was in Chicago. Maybe they caught it in Lake Michigan? šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/222 "2011-03-22T23:18:32Z")
> [@dawson](#): > > ā€œMcFlour coated cock-strings.ā€ > This has to be the worst name for an edible product Iā€™ve ever heard. > What did they serve for dessert, Spotted Dick? Iā€™m guessing it was supposed to McDonalds chicken tenders kinda thing (chicken= cock, strings=strips, Mcflour=Mcdonalds). I really lolā€™d when I read it though- what a disgusting image! ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/223 "2011-03-22T23:24:50Z")
> [@dawson](#): > > ā€œMcFlour coated cock-strings.ā€ If the dipping sauce is white, donā€™t eat it. If the dipping sauce is red, donā€™t eat it. If the dipping sauce is brown, donā€™t eat it. If the dipping sauce is yellow, donā€™t eat it. Unless you are into that sorta thing (not that there is anything wrong with it!). ---
**Author:** ![Scubaqueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@Scubaqueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scubaqueen)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/224 "2011-03-23T12:54:38Z")
> [@Cub\_Mistress](#): > > My rule for judging unknown barbecue joints on the road in the South: Look at the sign. The more un-pig-like the behavior of the pig on the sign, the better the barbecue is likely to be. Pig dancing with a bottle of hot sauce in its hoof? Letā€™s stop! Pig standing in a field? Letā€™s keep looking. And donā€™t forget that the NUMBER of pigs shown is important, too. The more pigs in the sign the better the eats. Best BBQ Iā€™ve ever had was at some nameless joint in Tennessee not far from Chatanooga. We nearly ate ourselves unconscious (I think the hardiest of us went back for thirds. We \*\*all \*\*went back for seconds.). The complicated neon sign set-up had three pigs sliding down a slide: rinse, repeat. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/225 "2011-03-23T15:06:24Z")
> [@Zakalwe](#): > > Good general rule, but the best Maine lobster I have ever had was in Chicago. > Another good rule (and green key lime pie is a personal peeve), but funnily enough neither of those ingredients specifically mentioned is really local anymore. Key limes have been all but wiped out in Florida commercially (citrus canker - they were particularly susceptible - and they werenā€™t really key limes but persian limes - key limes have been limited to backyard growing for decades). Almost all commcercially are now from Mexico/Central America. On the other hand, taking conchs hasnā€™t been legal for YEARS. There may be some small aquaculture operations in Florida, but for the most part conchs are harvested overseas (there is at least one major conch aquaculture operation in the Turks, I believe. Right. While my examples may have not been the best possible, itā€™s still a general rule. Kinda mushy now that I think about it. Because crab legs are cooked on the boats and flash frozen, you cannot get ā€œfreshā€ crab legs anywhere. Except possibly on that Worldā€™s Most Dangerous Catch show. Previously frozen crab legs are delicious and are a gift from the gods. Garlic butter optional. Most conch you get in Florida was imported from the Bahamas. This violates the 50-mile rule, but I sort of think of the Bahamas as Florida East. Itā€™s the same ocean with the same critters in it. But yeah, shrimp from Thailand? Ermā€¦ no. ---
**Author:** ![fjs1fs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9e8a1a/32.png) [@fjs1fs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fjs1fs)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/226 "2011-03-23T18:57:56Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > We found ourselves at Chiliā€™s, home of the baby back ribs some time back - with - surprise! - a fanatical vegetarian who would not suffer one fleck of bacon on his appetizer. Watching him for 10 minutes ordering something was a trip. I must say, though, the waitress was a real pro. She and veg-o had a long discussion about veggie patties, beans, rice, and various modifications that could be had off-menu. She told us that she had served a party of vegans the week before. She got a nice tip for her pains, believe it. I would make one of my rules ā€œGO TO CHILIā€™s.ā€ Itā€™s very reasonably priced, and Always really good. Great, cheap cocktails, awesome nachos (they took the ground beef nachos off-menu, but usually will still make them for you) and even healthy dishes, if thatā€™s your game. Service is always good to. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/227 "2011-03-23T20:56:03Z")
> [@Spiny\_Norman](#): > > European addendums: > > In France, the truck drivers know where to find good food at good prices. > In Italy, the clergy. > In Denmark, the taxi drivers. Calvin Trillin once said that the number of calendars on the wall of Mom & Pop restaurants was a measure of good food. "Oh, look, Honey ā€“ thereā€™s a 4 calendar shop. Letā€™s eat there! ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/228 "2011-03-23T22:06:06Z")
> [@Spiny\_Norman](#): > > European addendums: > > In France, the truck drivers know where to find good food at good prices. This is commonly said of U.S. truck drivers too. Unfortunately truck stops and other places catering to truckers often serve crap. It may be that the likelihood of truckers eating well on the road is inversely proportional to the degree of pressure they face to get goods delivered on time (if youā€™re behind schedule you probably wonā€™t want to drive into town to eat at the good barbecue place, youā€™ll stay on the interstate). ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/229 "2011-03-23T22:07:52Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > It may be that the likelihood of truckers eating well on the road is inversely proportional to the degree of pressure they face to get goods delivered on time (if youā€™re behind schedule you probably wonā€™t want to drive into town to eat at the good barbecue place, youā€™ll stay on the interstate). In that case, the rule might hold better for French truckers since they stereotypically arenā€™t worried too much about pressure for delivery šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![typoink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@typoink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typoink)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/230 "2011-03-24T00:34:09Z")
Two fundamental disagreements with the OP: > [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > 1. The Interstate Restaurant Rule: Always eat at chains within a half-mile of the interstate. Non-chain restaurants within a half-mile of the interstate donā€™t need to rely on repeat business, so they will probably be gruesome. I disagree, heavily. The chain stops along highways donā€™t need to rely on repeat business, so theyā€™re often the worst run ones. When Iā€™ve stopped at chains along highways, theyā€™re always far worse than, say, the ones in cities / suburbs where thereā€™s competition. The non-chains, on the other hand, have to compete with chains and have also generally been in business for years. They will often have charm, decent food, occasionally VERY good specialty items (thereā€™s a truckstop diner along a highway near me that is mostly by-the-book generic diner food but has hand-battered mushrooms that are fantastic), and often appreciate the business. And youā€™re not giving money to the same old stupid chains. Just donā€™t do something idiotic like ordering Tilapia and a salad at a truck stop. > [@](#): > > 1. The Core Competency Rule: eat what the restaurant is known for. The pizza joint might have fish & chips on the menu for the person that doesnā€™t like pizza, but itā€™ll suck. The pizza at the fish camp will also suck. This is often true, but itā€™s worth your time looking for exceptions. Sometimes, those odd dishes are on there because theyā€™re really good, but theyā€™re not big moneymakers. Itā€™s always tough to tell, but thereā€™s clues ā€“ if something odd seems popular or the menu seems to be trying to draw attention, thatā€™s a sign. ---
**Author:** ![typoink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@typoink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typoink)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/231 "2011-03-24T01:02:25Z")
> [@fjs1fs](#): > > I would make one of my rules ā€œGO TO CHILIā€™s.ā€ Itā€™s very reasonably priced, and Always really good. Great, cheap cocktails, awesome nachos (they took the ground beef nachos off-menu, but usually will still make them for you) and even healthy dishes, if thatā€™s your game. Service is always good to. I now picture you as some sort of movie villain. Chiliā€™s is, to me, practically everything I dislike in food. Itā€™s not as bad as Applebeeā€™s, which is absolutely, 100% abhorrant. The food is always bland, hohum, and tastes vaguely of preservatives and way, way too much salt. Thereā€™s never any surprises, and I always leave feeling vaguely like I massively overpayed, but canā€™t quite quantify why. The cocktails arenā€™t bad, although syrupy drinks arenā€™t usually my thing. Not that I actually bear you ill will or think youā€™re bad for liking chain food. I just really, really donā€™t. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/232 "2011-03-24T01:36:04Z")
> [@typoink](#): > > I now picture you as some sort of movie villain. Chiliā€™s is, to me, practically everything I dislike in food. Itā€™s not as bad as Applebeeā€™s, which is absolutely, 100% abhorrant. > > The food is always bland, hohum, and tastes vaguely of preservatives and way, way too much salt. Thereā€™s never any surprises, and I always leave feeling vaguely like I massively overpayed, but canā€™t quite quantify why. > > The cocktails arenā€™t bad, although syrupy drinks arenā€™t usually my thing. > > Not that I actually bear you ill will or think youā€™re bad for liking chain food. I just really, really donā€™t. QFT [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093.md?page=11)