# Restaurant Rules to Live By **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 18, 2011, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093 "2011-03-18T00:40:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/41 "2011-03-18T11:49:55Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > When on the road, if there are several restaurants close to each other: pick the one with the trucks parked out front. > > In Spain this is known as the “follow the experts rule”. Note that it doesn’t apply to cities, only to “on the road places”. One caveat: they might be parked there because it’s the only place with room for the truck. ---
**Author:** ![dawson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@dawson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dawson)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/42 "2011-03-18T12:11:50Z")
> [@dalej42](#): > > Try to avoid eating on a Sunday. > > 1.The afternoon will be filled with the after church crowd. This means lots of large parties and kids. > > 1. The restaurant is likely to be short staffed due to people calling in hung over or waiters not wanting to deal with the after church crowd. > > 2. The restaurant is likely to be out of several items after a busy Friday/Saturday night. > > 3. At night, the after church crowd is gone, but the restaurant is likely to be even more short staffed if they use a Monday-Sunday workweek. The managers are likely to send staff home once they’ve reached their 40 hour limit. This goes double for a chain with a ‘No overtime, ever’ unwritten policy. A couple more things to add to this; Don’t order fish on Sunday or Monday. Most restaurants are busiest on the weekend and therefore get their fish order on Thursday so they have a chance to prep it for the weekend. There’s a good chance any fish to be had on Sunday and Monday has been sitting around for three or four days or pulled out of the back of an industrial freezer. A corollary to this last rule is don’t order the overly seasoned fish unless it is an example of the house specialty. Ie: if an Italian joint is offering a Cajun fish fillet they’re probably trying to hide an “odiferous” piece of fish in lots of herbs and spices There’s a good chance the head chef is not working on Sunday. After a busy Friday and Saturday night a day off is welcome, and the top dog usally gets first pick, so if your going to eat out on Sunday keep it simple. ---
**Author:** ![Sakuma\_Drops](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sakuma\_Drops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sakuma_Drops)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/43 "2011-03-18T12:20:57Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Just because a lot of Asian people are there does not mean that an Asian restaurant is good. I know my Chinese food, and I’ve been to some incredibly inauthentic slophouses that still have plenty of Asian clients. YMMV, I guess. In particular I can think of two really terrible Chinese buffet places near where I live, and the local Chinese tend to steer clear of them. That being said, there’s “formula” Chinese and then there’s bland, rubbery, over-salted “formula” Chinese. I don’t tend to have a problem with the former as long as it’s prepared well, even if it isn’t quite as authentic. > [@](#): > > That said, daily specials on the wall in Chinese are a sign of a good Chinese restaurant, but there is probably a special menu you have to get to get the good stuff. Either that, or the authentic dishes will be put in willy-nilly with the American “lemon-chicken” stuff and people unfamiliar with real Chinese food won’t know what to pick. Good call, I forgot to mention about the “special” menu. I’ve had good luck ordering from these but it’s usually a good idea to ask the waiter what’s good. Still, at the places I’ve been locally where they have two menus, they usually take a little more care in making the “special” dishes. ---
**Author:** ![Ichbin\_Dubist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ichbin\_Dubist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichbin_Dubist)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/44 "2011-03-18T12:26:39Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > 1. The Core Competency Rule: eat what the restaurant is known for. The pizza joint might have fish & chips on the menu for the person that doesn’t like pizza, but it’ll suck. The pizza at the fish camp will also suck. Northeast Addendum: Unless you have been given a recommendation for a particular dish, don’t order anything in a diner for which you would need to a consult a recipe to cook yourself. For this _güero_, the Mexican food rule would be: Mexican food gets better as the cheese gets less familiar-looking and is used more sparingly. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/45 "2011-03-18T12:29:12Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > One caveat: they might be parked there because it’s the only place with room for the truck. Maybe in the US, in Spain I’ve seen spots where you had four similar-sized restaurants with similar-sized lots, one of them was at 90% capacity and the rest empty. And no, the empty-lotted restaurants were not closed. ---
**Author:** ![Sakuma\_Drops](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sakuma\_Drops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sakuma_Drops)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/46 "2011-03-18T12:45:33Z")
The “Dive” Rule: If you see a very small restaurant and there is either a line to the door or people waiting outside, that may be an indication of a good “dive” that the locals frequent. ---
**Author:** ![stegon66](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@stegon66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stegon66)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/47 "2011-03-18T12:48:20Z")
> [@](#): > > Try to avoid eating on a Sunday. > > 1.The afternoon will be filled with the after church crowd. This means lots of large parties and kids. > > 1. The restaurant is likely to be short staffed due to people calling in hung over or waiters not wanting to deal with the after church crowd. > > 2. The restaurant is likely to be out of several items after a busy Friday/Saturday night. > > 3. At night, the after church crowd is gone, but the restaurant is likely to be even more short staffed if they use a Monday-Sunday workweek. The managers are likely to send staff home once they’ve reached their 40 hour limit. This goes double for a chain with a ‘No overtime, ever’ unwritten policy. Pretty much, although we get our delivery on Friday so we don’t usually run out of anything over the weekend. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/48 "2011-03-18T13:03:07Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > \*\*RealityChuck’s \*\*“guidelines” are \*far better \*than the OP’s, which I find pretty useless. Let’s see your list of dining rules then. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/49 "2011-03-18T13:21:11Z")
The interstate/truckstop rule is not for your own town, where you can get to know places. The interstate/truckstop rule is for when you are zooming off an exit, on the way to somwhere and want to increase your chances of getting good food, at good prices, quickly. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/50 "2011-03-18T13:21:35Z")
In one of his travel books, Bill Bryson posited the rule: “Never eat at a restaurant which has photographs of the food on its menu”. I think that’s a pretty safe one. Also, when in a touristy place (I’m chiefly thinking Mediterranean beach places, here), I will generally make a pass down the restaurant strip from one end to the other, then head back to any place that _doesn’t_ have a grinning proprietor standing outside next to the menu, beseeching people to come in and enjoy his wonderful food. ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/51 "2011-03-18T13:22:38Z")
I think it was in the book Blue Highways where the author correlated the quality of the food with the amount of local business calendars on the wall. A five calendar diner was a true find. Let’s see, mine would be - Consider the source when given a restaurant recommendation. If someone tells you where to get the best sushi or Indian, do they know f-all about food? I’ve had friends tell me about some great place and then realize they spend most of their time at Applebee’s. I agree with the Sunday rule. We avoid restaurants around here like the plague on Sundays. Not only are they jammed with rude people (don’t know what it is, but church seems to make people angry around here), but the attitude of the waitstaff is usually off, probably from dealing with churchies. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/52 "2011-03-18T13:33:25Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > 1. In a new city, never eat in a restaurant chain that you can eat at back home. It’s pretty silly to travel 1000 miles to eat at an Applebee’s. This. In my book, the whole point of traveling is to see and do things that you can’t see and do at home. This goes for eating too. And it goes double if you enjoy talking to people. At the local roadside diner, you’re likely be waited on by the owner or a relative of the owner. They grew up around here, and most of the other customers will be locals who will be happy to tell you about their town. The food is usually better than any chain, but even if it’s not, it probably won’t be awful, and you’ll have a unique experience that you’ll never get at a Denny’s. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/53 "2011-03-18T13:46:58Z")
I have to sort-of disagree with the ethnicity rule. True, never eat at a Chinese restaurant that Chinese people avoid. But I once went to a Brazillian restaurant where only Brazillian people ate. Mediocre. I went there a few years later, and it was disgusting. This leads to another rule: In a tourist town where every restaurant is turning away tourists, avoid the one place that’s doing no business at all. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/54 "2011-03-18T13:55:40Z")
I avoid restaurants that advertise themselves as being “family” places. The food is generally poor and they attract clientele that tends to resemble the Addams Family. It is not a good sign when there is obvious rancor between the staff and owner, and when you go into the men’s room someone has taken a large odorous dump in the sink (as in the case of a deli I no longer go to). Also on the do-not-eat-at list are places offering ethnic food where the staff is not of that ethnic group, i.e. “Mexican” restaurants where the manager and servers are Anglos. Ethnic places in small communities are often trouble because the food tends to get dumbed down to avoid offending non-adventurous locals (the worst Chinese food I’ve ever had was in Salina, Kansas; Millinocket, Maine; and most atrocious of all, a small town in Scotland. Blurggh.) ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Hamsandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4bbf92/32.png) [@Darth\_Hamsandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Hamsandwich)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/55 "2011-03-18T14:02:16Z")
ALWAYS check the menu to see if the gratuity is added in automatically for groups of x or more. Having been a server in the past, I knew a lot of co-workers who counted on the fact that their table of 8 would not realize this. Then the server would write the gratuity UNDER the total amount of the bill. When the customers saw this, 9 out of 10 times they would assume it was tax or drink price and then tip the server ON TOP of the gratuity already added in. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/56 "2011-03-18T14:16:46Z")
Google is your friend; if you’re making a planned trip and have an idea what area you’ll be stopping around lunch or dinner time, do a little research beforehand. I found a completely awesome BBQ joint in SC (admittedly not such a difficult thing)that I wouldn’t have noticed or known about if just passing through. Also, trust your instincts; I can sort of feel a vibe just by peeking into a place and tell if it’s good, and I’ve rarely missed. ---
**Author:** ![fusoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecccb3/32.png) [@fusoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fusoya)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/57 "2011-03-18T14:26:26Z")
In NYC (Manhattan especially), the more drab and run-down the outside of an independent eatery is, the better the food will be. This is a sign that the place has been there forever, and gets the repeat business (from locals in-the-know) to pay the outragious commercial rent/taxes. This rule has NEVER failed me. ---
**Author:** ![Sakuma\_Drops](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sakuma\_Drops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sakuma_Drops)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/58 "2011-03-18T15:21:26Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > Also, when in a touristy place (I’m chiefly thinking Mediterranean beach places, here), I will generally make a pass down the restaurant strip from one end to the other, then head back to any place that _doesn’t_ have a grinning proprietor standing outside next to the menu, beseeching people to come in and enjoy his wonderful food. Heheh, there are places like that in the States, too. In Monterey, CA there is an old pier with a bunch of restaurants on it, almost all of which are involved in a clam chowder turf war with people standing outside saying that _their_ joint’s clam chowder is the best. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/59 "2011-03-18T15:24:46Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > 1. In a new city, never eat in a restaurant chain that you can eat at back home. It’s pretty silly to travel 1000 miles to eat at an Applebee’s. Will someone please tell my parents this? Don’t go to restaurants with my parents. You’ll end up eating at a place that offers bland American food, most likely a chain where they know what’s on the menu. If not a chain, they will manage to find the only bad restaurant in a city full of good ones. I love them dearly, but they’re no good at picking restaurants. Try the local specialties, at least so far as they don’t conflict with your dietary requirements (allergies, religion, pickiness, whatever). If the restaurant has stuff you can’t get at home and stuff you can, order what you can’t get at home over what you can. > [@](#): > > 1. There are certain places where it’s impossible to find bad restaurant food. So far, my list includes San Francisco, Montreal, Paris, and the Lexington Market in Baltimore. But if you really want to _try_ to find bad restaurant food in these places, the restaurants near major tourist attractions are where it is. If a restaurant is convenient to somewhere people want to go, it doesn’t need to be good to stay in business, especially if it’s in a tourist area and doesn’t rely on repeat business. Restaurants pay higher rents to be near major tourist attractions, too, and guess where they recoup that money from? Just going a couple of streets away can make a difference, in terms of prices and quality. The restaurants will be less crowded, too. Win-win-win. If you’re at a theme park, any food they sell there will generally be overpriced, bad for you, not terribly good, and aimed at nonadventurous eaters. > [@tdn](#): > > In a tourist town where every restaurant is turning away tourists, avoid the one place that’s doing no business at all. This. 6.02 \* 10[sup]23[/sup] times this. There’s a chance that you’ll find the place that all the other tourists have overlooked. I suspect your chances of winning the Powerball are better. Also, you don’t get food poisoning from Powerball. In Italy, the restaurants with trilingual or quadrilingual menus are generally overpriced and mediocre compared to the ones that have menus only in Italian. There are menu reader books, if you don’t read Italian. Don’t order a Coke product with your meal in Europe, unless you really need the caffeine and your stomach won’t take coffee right now. It will be expensive, you won’t get much (a can, if that), and it won’t be any better than Coke is at home. Restaurants that advertise low prices or large portions generally don’t have very good food. If a restaurant doesn’t have more than one or two dishes on its menu that comply with your dietary requirements (whatever those are), you’re not going to have much luck trying to get them to modify another dish to suit your dietary requirements. You’re better off eating elsewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/60 "2011-03-18T15:37:41Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Why is it depressing? > … > When I’m on the road, I generally want to get to my destination quickly. Great food is not a priority at that point; it’s a time to settle for mediocre food. That’s why. I’ve done that, for the same reason, and invariably found it depressing. I agree with **RealityChuck** and **Wheelz** : traveling is an opportunity to get something different than what you have at home. And I believe that all trips worth making at all are improved by making the journey (not just the destination) a worthwhile experience. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093.md?page=4)