# Restaurant Rules to Live By **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 18, 2011, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093 "2011-03-18T00:40:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2011, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/121 "2011-03-19T16:47:52Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > Seconding this rule. My favorite Chinese takeout place has had the kids taking orders for years. The oldest went off to college now so it’s a little sad to see real employees in there, but the Szechun Beef and Sesame Tofu are as good as ever. Ditto here. We moved across town, and started checking out all the local hole in the wall Chinese take-out places close by. The third one we tried had the most adorable little girl (maybe 10?) taking people’s orders and payments. We looked over the counter and a teenage boy and an ancient old lady were arguing over a set of steaming woks, and there were homework papers on one of the dining-room tables, and a baby-chair off to the side. My husband and I just looked at each other and grinned like idiots. We eat there ALL the time - it’s fantastic. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2011, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/122 "2011-03-19T17:14:35Z")
Look for a restaurant with local business vehicles in the parking lot - things like cable companies, florists, plumbers, lawn and pool services, etc. These are people who know the area and eat in restaurants on a regular basis. They know where the best meals are. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2011, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/123 "2011-03-19T18:02:58Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Any food on a menu (or any restaurant, for that matter) in any country outside the US that has the word “American” in the description will likely not resemble anything you ever had in the states, and probably should be avoided. When I was living in Japan I noticed that corn dogs are known as “American dogs” there…but I never had one and have no idea if they actually taste like American corn dogs. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2011, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/124 "2011-03-19T18:06:22Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > When I was living in Japan I noticed that corn dogs are known as “American dogs” there…but I never had one and have no idea if they actually taste like American corn dogs. I tried an “American burger” in a Belgian frituur. I don’t know what the hell was in it, but I don’t think beef was high on the ingredient list. Serves me right for violating my own rule. I have to admit that a hot dog in Marseilles isn’t bad. The sausage is kind of odd-looking, but they stuff a bunch of fries into the sandwich, which makes it edible. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2011, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/125 "2011-03-19T22:10:54Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > Got a question for you: Let’s say I step into a random restaurant off the street in Korea or Japan and ask for some wasabi on the side. Am I more likely to get authentic wasabi, or will I get “Western Wasabi” (Horseradish). I don’t mind western wasabi, in fact, I eat it all the time with my sushi, I’m just curious if I’ll get that or the real deal, and what the difference will be. So far, I’ve never seen a sushi place west of the Mississippi mix up wasabi and horseradish. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2011, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/126 "2011-03-19T22:35:10Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > So far, I’ve never seen a sushi place west of the Mississippi mix up wasabi and horseradish. Cue Deep South accent. Sorry mister. We don’t got no we saw bee. But we got’s some katsup. Or how’s about some Tea bass co sauce? ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2011, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/127 "2011-03-19T22:50:48Z")
Superhal’s Tips for Reading Customers: 1. Fat people go to places with large portions. 2. Thin people go to places with good salads. 3. Tourists go to places with food that looks good or is famous in some way. 4. College students go to places with cheap food and/or let you sit around without spending a lot of money. 5. Elementary school children go to places that serve garbage with sugar on it. 6. Retirees go to places with discounts for the elderly. 7. Single guys go to places where the grease is inversely proportional to the amount of clothes the servers wear. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2011, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/128 "2011-03-20T00:39:57Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > Superhal’s Tips for Reading Customers: > > 1. Fat people go to places with large portions. > 2. Thin people go to places with good salads. > 3. Tourists go to places with food that looks good or is famous in some way. > 4. College students go to places with cheap food and/or let you sit around without spending a lot of money. > 5. Elementary school children go to places that serve garbage with sugar on it. > 6. Retirees go to places with discounts for the elderly. > 7. Single guys go to places where the grease is inversely proportional to the amount of clothes the servers wear. Generally all true. But I think you missed on #5. 1. Elementary school children go to places that offer the best promotional toys. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2011, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/129 "2011-03-20T01:33:45Z")
> [@Sakuma\_Drops](#): > > One time I attended an office potluck where one of my co-workers, who was ethnic Hawaiian, brought in some Spam sushi which she called “[Spam musubi](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spam_musubi)”. Apparently it’s very popular in Hawaii - it probably came about due to the combination of the local Japanese population and the fondness that Pacific Islanders have for Spam. I’ve only ever seen it offered at one restaurant in the mainland U.S., though. You can come by my place if you’re in the neighborhood. I believe I make the best spam musubi in Atlantic Canada. Hell, possibly all of Canada. I’d say the Continental US, except I have a niece in Boston who may give me a run for the money. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2011, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/130 "2011-03-20T02:20:11Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > So far, I’ve never seen a sushi place west of the Mississippi mix up wasabi and horseradish. Are you sure about that? Most wasabi I’ve ever seen in North America and Hawaii was in fact green-colored horseradish paste. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2011, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/131 "2011-03-20T02:29:49Z")
Indeed, I’ve never seen Japanese wasabi in any sushi place I’ve been to, including some mighty fine sushi places. ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2011, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/132 "2011-03-20T02:34:58Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Look for a restaurant with local business vehicles in the parking lot - things like cable companies, florists, plumbers, lawn and pool services, etc. These are people who know the area and eat in restaurants on a regular basis. They know where the best meals are. On a similar note, in the rural Midwest at noon look for the place with the dirty pick-up trucks parked outside. The trucks belong to the local farmers and they, of all people, know good food at a good price. They are eating out because the wives have regular jobs. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2011, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/133 "2011-03-20T02:42:49Z")
> [@Lamar\_Mundane](#): > > The “local is better than chain” rule does not apply in Utah (outside of SLC-Park City.) You’re much better off going to Chili’s than trying a roadside diner. Trust me on this. I distinctly remember reading a book by food writers Jane and Michael Stern, who travelled to every state looking for memorable regional specialties, and when they got to Utah, they were hard pressed to recommend ANY restaurant at all. They did mention a bakery selling things made with honey (Utah is the Beehive State) and…that was it. This is because of the Mormons peculiar diet restrictions and the fact that because of their huge families, they tend to stay home and cook. When we went to Niagara Falls a few years ago we stayed at a rather expensive hotel, and there were busloads of Japanese tourists staying there. The buffet restaurant there was dimly lit, and much to our surprise, many of the items on the serving table were dishes made from imitation crab. I forgot what the big center dish was made to resemble, but it was imitation crab. I LIKE imitation crab but I never saw so MUCH of it in once place. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2011, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/134 "2011-03-20T02:51:38Z")
From Dumb & Dumber. Don’t ask the waitress what the _soup du jour_ is. Instead, ask what the soup of the day is, or what soups are served. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2011, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/135 "2011-03-20T04:41:47Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > I distinctly remember reading a book by food writers Jane and Michael Stern, who travelled to every state looking for memorable regional specialties, and when they got to Utah, they were hard pressed to recommend ANY restaurant at all. They did mention a bakery selling things made with honey (Utah is the Beehive State) and…that was it. This is because of the Mormons peculiar diet restrictions and the fact that because of their huge families, they tend to stay home and cook. > > When we went to Niagara Falls a few years ago we stayed at a rather expensive hotel, and there were busloads of Japanese tourists staying there. The buffet restaurant there was dimly lit, and much to our surprise, many of the items on the serving table were dishes made from imitation crab. I forgot what the big center dish was made to resemble, but it was imitation crab. I LIKE imitation crab but I never saw so MUCH of it in once place. Stern’s Rules Of the Road! Great book! ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2011, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/136 "2011-03-20T05:04:59Z")
> [@Ronald\_C.Semone](#): > > And then there is the old standby: Never eat at a place called “Mom’s”. The full quote, and one of my favorites, from [Nelson Algren:](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nelson_Algren) > [@](#): > > Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom’s. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2011, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/137 "2011-03-20T05:06:11Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Indeed, I’ve never seen Japanese wasabi in any sushi place I’ve been to, including some mighty fine sushi places. Where are you located? In Chicago Mitsua has fresh wasbi root. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Woodhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@Miss\_Woodhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Woodhouse)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2011, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/138 "2011-03-20T05:22:12Z")
> [@](#): > > This is because of the Mormons peculiar diet restrictions and the fact that because of their huge families, they tend to stay home and cook. I’ll give you the stay home and cook part. Mormons are notoriously cheap. But the diet restrictions? Since when does good food require alcohol and coffee? The predilection for bad casseroles and potatoes is a preference. Not a diet restriction. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2011, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/139 "2011-03-20T05:28:34Z")
> [@Electric\_Warrior](#): > > Restaurants with gimmicks usually focus more on the appearance than the food. Which is why, if you are to believe the [commercial](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSw4-OtAbC4), you should eat at Wendy’s. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2011, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093/140 "2011-03-20T13:06:16Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > Where are you located? > In Chicago Mitsua has fresh wasbi root. Cool, but that’s a long way to drive for wasabi :). I’m in NC. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurant-rules-to-live-by/575093.md?page=8)