# Restaurants that should be nuked from orbit. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 20, 2007, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurants-that-should-be-nuked-from-orbit/416206 "2007-08-20T02:15:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurants-that-should-be-nuked-from-orbit/416206/1 "2007-08-20T02:15:58Z")
Here’s your chance, Dopers! TPTB have given you carte blanche to wipe on restaurant or chain from the face of the Earth forever. Who do you chose? The faux Italian chain that gets all its food prepackaged? The faux Aussie steakhouse that serves meat that lost at Santa Anita? The clown? **Ronald?** Pick your target and tell us why it must be obliterated. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurants-that-should-be-nuked-from-orbit/416206/2 "2007-08-20T02:43:40Z")
Boston Pizza. Christ, what a shithole. The first time Mrs. RickJay and I went we ordered a spaghetti for me and a pizza for her. Our drinks were delivered in ten minutes. A full half hour later my spaghetti arrived, with assurances that the pizza would soon follow. Now, you have to understand the place wasn’t unusually busy. Every five minutes we’d ask where the pizza was. We were told, every time, “Just another five minutes!” One hour after we’d ordered was the point at which we demanded to see a manager. “Just another five minutes, sorry it’s taking so long.” Okay. Ten minutes after that I actually got up and tracked the manager down. Just another five minutes. Ten minutes after that a pizza was finally delivered. What was funny about it was that the sun dried tomatoes that were supposed to be on the pizza… well, they were on the pizza, but they were frozen. Frozen solid. My wife took the pizza over to the manager and demanded to know what the fuck was going on. Her actual, honest-to-God response: “Uh. Uh, ummm. Uh. Uh… oh, they’re SUPPOSED to come that way!” Mrs. RickJay: “That’s ridiculous. Let me see the recipe.” Manager: “I don’t know where it is.” We left and refused to pay. Christ knows why we stayed as long as we did. That was six years ago. Since then I’ve had to go to Boston Pizza three more times, all involuntarily (twice on business, once with my parents because my mother wanted to go.) EVERY time, the place was half full or less, and EVERY time it was amazingly slow and they forgot or fucked up at least two or three items. Sorry, but at this point I just don’t believe it’s a coincidence. ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurants-that-should-be-nuked-from-orbit/416206/3 "2007-08-20T03:08:57Z")
Just be grateful you didn’t actually eat at BP. Ehhhhhhccc ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurants-that-should-be-nuked-from-orbit/416206/4 "2007-08-20T03:15:01Z")
My first choice would be The Cheesecake Factory. I love their cheesecake but [their service sucks](http://shadowkat.livejournal.com/2140.html). (Okay, I admit that I haven’t been back to the restaurant since then. I guess things can change in 6 years.) Second choice would be Applebee’s. I made the mistake of ordering steak there once. Once! I ordered it rare, got it well-done, sent it back, got another one well-done, sent it back and asked it to be taken off the check, and ended up eating a plate of donations from other people’s meals (the people I came with, not other people from other tables). The manager came near the end of the meal to apologize and say that the type of steak I’d ordered was difficult to cook rare (so difficult, apparently, that not a speck of pink can be left anywhere, no matter how hard they’re trying). :rolleyes: I _have_ been to Applebee’s since then, I just never order steak. They shouldn’t offer things they can’t cook. Either take it off the menu, hire competent cooks, or put a note on the menu that it’s only available well-done. ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurants-that-should-be-nuked-from-orbit/416206/5 "2007-08-20T03:24:43Z")
[QUOTE=Kat] My first choice would be The Cheesecake Factory. I love their cheesecake but [their service sucks](http://shadowkat.livejournal.com/2140.html). (Okay, I admit that I haven’t been back to the restaurant since then. I guess things can change in 6 years.) Second choice would be Applebee’s. I made the mistake of ordering steak there once. Once! I ordered it rare, got it well-done, sent it back, got another one well-done, sent it back and asked it to be taken off the check, and ended up eating a plate of donations from other people’s meals (the people I came with, not other people from other tables). The manager came near the end of the meal to apologize and say that the type of steak I’d ordered was difficult to cook rare (so difficult, apparently, that not a speck of pink can be left anywhere, no matter how hard they’re trying). :rolleyes: I _have_ been to Applebee’s since then, I just never order steak. They shouldn’t offer things they can’t cook. Either take it off the menu, hire competent cooks, or put a note on the menu that it’s only available well-done. [/QUOTE] I also made the mistake of ordering a steak at Applebee’s. I sent it back because it was still mooing, it was brought back slightly more done, and tough as ever. I couldn’t even get through half of the New York strip. The combo I ordered also had riblets with it, I had never had them before, but I’d heard that they were good. The ones I got _had_ to have been made the day before. I’ve had gas station beef jerky that was twice as tender. I’m usually loathe to complain, but this time I made a point of it, politely. The manager took my meal off the bill, but didn’t seem concerned about the shit food he was serving to his patrons. I still have a $25 gift certificate there, I’m not sure if I’ll ever use it. ---
**Author:** ![some\_white\_dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b487fb/32.png) [@some\_white\_dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/some_white_dude)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurants-that-should-be-nuked-from-orbit/416206/6 "2007-08-20T03:26:18Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] The faux Aussie steakhouse that serves meat that lost at Santa Anita? [/QUOTE] Call me a Philistine, but I _like_ their steaks. Anyway, I also choose Applebee’s, simply for their insistence that they’re part of “the neighborhood”. Blech. Excuse me while I go look up what neighborhood that strip mall belongs to. On top of that, they lie pretty low in the hierarchy of tchotchke restaurants, so they’re not winning any points for food. Oh, and those stupid ads with that Bobby Flay lookalike. Whatshisface. Tyler Florence. Yeah, Applebee’s, you act like your stupid food is all gourmet and shit, but I know it’s all frozen garbage. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurants-that-should-be-nuked-from-orbit/416206/7 "2007-08-20T04:06:30Z")
[QUOTE=Kat] My first choice would be The Cheesecake Factory. I love their cheesecake but [their service sucks](http://shadowkat.livejournal.com/2140.html). [/QUOTE] Damn, you beat me to it. I’ve been there twice, both times to join a group who’d chosen to meet there. Both times it was jammed and deafeningly noisy and the service was inattentive and surly. On the plus side, they did offer grocery-store-quality defrosted cheesecake, and their mediocre entrees arrived on platters the size of a rowboat. I will never go there again. Nor will I frequent any restaurant whose name contains “factory” or “warehouse” or any other word reminiscent of heavy industry, suggesting that food travels down some sort of conveyor belt through a funnel into the distended gullets of their clientele. If you dine somewhere called “Café Bidet” and find unsavory contaminants in your _bouillabaisse_, don’t you really only have yourself to blame? ---
**Author:** ![flickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7bcc69/32.png) [@flickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flickster)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurants-that-should-be-nuked-from-orbit/416206/8 "2007-08-20T04:28:06Z")
Olive Garden - can’t even count the ways I hate this place McDonald’s - how many ways can you produce a mush burger Burger King - the King - nuff said Wendy’s - Used to like this place - no longer ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurants-that-should-be-nuked-from-orbit/416206/9 "2007-08-20T04:35:46Z")
Taco Bell - everything on there menu is made up of some combination of 5 or 6 basic ingredients. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurants-that-should-be-nuked-from-orbit/416206/10 "2007-08-20T04:47:04Z")
[QUOTE=beowulff] Taco Bell - everything on there menu is made up of some combination of 5 or 6 basic ingredients. [/QUOTE] Yep. Taco Bell and Domino’s would be the first to go in my perfect culinary world. ---
**Author:** ![Shamozzle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shamozzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shamozzle)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurants-that-should-be-nuked-from-orbit/416206/11 "2007-08-20T06:06:23Z")
How about some Pizza Shooters or X-treme Fajitas? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurants-that-should-be-nuked-from-orbit/416206/12 "2007-08-20T06:13:11Z")
Johnny Rockets, a fake fifties diner. The burgers are worse than McDonalds, and about twice as expensive. ---
**Author:** ![some\_white\_dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b487fb/32.png) [@some\_white\_dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/some_white_dude)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurants-that-should-be-nuked-from-orbit/416206/13 "2007-08-20T06:13:43Z")
> [@](#): > > How about some Pizza Shooters or X-treme Fajitas? Don’t forget the Shrimp Poppers! ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurants-that-should-be-nuked-from-orbit/416206/14 "2007-08-20T07:20:35Z")
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip] On the plus side, they did offer grocery-store-quality defrosted cheesecake, and their mediocre entrees arrived on platters the size of a rowboat. [/QUOTE] 😃 Their cheesecake is really not impressive. I can get better cheesecake at the grocery store. So many crappy restaurants–it’s hard to choose just one. I think I’m going to go with McDonald’s, because their food is nasty and I’m really tired of “I’m lovin’ it.” I’ll miss the apple pies, but you have to make some sacrifices. ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurants-that-should-be-nuked-from-orbit/416206/15 "2007-08-20T07:25:45Z")
[QUOTE=MagicEyes] 😃 Their cheesecake is really not impressive. I can get better cheesecake at the grocery store. So many crappy restaurants–it’s hard to choose just one. I think I’m going to go with McDonald’s, because their food is nasty and I’m really tired of “I’m lovin’ it.” I’ll miss the apple pies, but you have to make some sacrifices. [/QUOTE] If McDonalds “restaurants” fell off the face of the Earth, I would only notice the lack of commercials. IMO the only thing they have that’s worth saving id the Egg Mcmuffin. One can make one of those at home easily enough. ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurants-that-should-be-nuked-from-orbit/416206/16 "2007-08-20T07:56:32Z")
Also, Yay! 3,000 posts. That makes me so special that I’m officially recognized in 13 other countries! Granted I’m known there for being an arms dealer and international assassin, but the leaders of these countries are also proud of my 3,000 mark. Kim Jong Il sent me some yellow cake uranium, Castro sent me a cigar made from infidels, and Putin sent me a link to his favorite LOLcats pics. That dude has issues. Bush sent me a list of his enemies, which I thought was odd. Hitler is dead, the Noid was fictional, and Jim J Bullock is not really a threat to anyone. I’m still wondering why he kept calling me Mrs. Esterhaus. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurants-that-should-be-nuked-from-orbit/416206/17 "2007-08-20T08:03:49Z")
I’d nuke Arby’s. It’s never impressed me, and they keep advertising their overpriced sandwiches like they’re these amazing deals. Five dollars for two sandwiches topped with meat _and_ fake cheese sauce? Wow! The whole chain is a waste of real estate and advertising airtime. Not to mention the perfectly good ingredients they use up. ---
**Author:** ![Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d9b06d/32.png) [@Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boozahol_Squid_P.I)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurants-that-should-be-nuked-from-orbit/416206/18 "2007-08-20T08:17:18Z")
[QUOTE=Max the Immortal] I’d nuke Arby’s. It’s never impressed me, and they keep advertising their overpriced sandwiches like they’re these amazing deals. Five dollars for two sandwiches topped with meat _and_ fake cheese sauce? Wow! The whole chain is a waste of real estate and advertising airtime. Not to mention the perfectly good ingredients they use up. [/QUOTE] Not my Arby’s! While the food is worthless, I love the horsey sauce. I’d drink that stuff by the quart, if I didn’t have to pass occasional drug tests. My vote goes with Tim Horton’s. While they have decent coffee, and their donuts aren’t that bad, I’d love to see an entire nation start weeping simultaneously. ---
**Author:** ![straykat23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@straykat23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/straykat23)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurants-that-should-be-nuked-from-orbit/416206/19 "2007-08-20T08:30:14Z")
> [@](#): > > The faux Aussie steakhouse that serves meat that lost at Santa Anita? For the price, I think the faux Aussie steakhouse is just fine. I recently ate at Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse (there’s an active thread about it going on) and although I really enjoyed RCS, it was at least triple (or more) the price that the Aussie place charges. RCS is wonderful but isn’t a place I can afford very often, whereas the faux Aussie place is. Denny’s just gets worse and worse and worse as does IHOP. ---
**Author:** ![Paladud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Paladud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paladud)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurants-that-should-be-nuked-from-orbit/416206/20 "2007-08-20T08:53:38Z")
There is no legitimate reason for Fatburger to remain in business in SoCal. Their burgers are vastly inferior to In-N-Out’s in every respect and cost close to six bucks. Pizza Hut and Domino’s should also be nuked. Little Caesar provides pizza of equal quality (i.e. occasionally edible) at lower prices, while Papa John’s is a few notches better at the same price. Only marketing keeps that crap afloat. Diner chains like Norm’s should not offer beef in any form. Most of the other items are okay, but their steaks would serve better as a budget protective layer over the Chobham armor on main battle tanks. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restaurants-that-should-be-nuked-from-orbit/416206.md?page=2)