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Captain D’s. If you think Long John Silver’s is bad, you haven’t eaten here. I can’t drive by one of those places without the smell of over-used grease making me ill.
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Applebees/Fridays/Chilis/Aussie steak place. Please god, make them go AWAY.
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McDonalds. 'Nuff said.
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Red Lobster. After being told that something I ordered there had “absolutely no crab or shrimp” in it, I had a bad allergic reaction after bite #1 of said entree. The waiter was called and yes, it has “seafood of some kind” in it. Graaahhh!!!
I’ve been to 2 LJS places; one in New Hampshire, and one in Northern KY. The batter, particularly in Kentucky, would never be said to be made with a “light hand”. My wife likes LJS, but will never eat at the local LJS again. So it could be local variance.
The local competition is Captain D’s, who is much better (at least here - apologies to the previous poster). Louisville has Moby Dick’s, which is even better.
More nukable restaurants:
Frisch’s Big Boy - The menu from Bob Evans, but without any semblance of taste or quality (and it’s not like I’m a Bob Evans fan). A lot like Shoney’s, but even worse.
Chipotle - This one is gonna get me flamed, but it is the only restaurant where we’ve ordered, got our food, took one bite, looked at each other, and got up and left. I hate cilantro but my wife doesn’t; however, she no longer loves it after that “meal”.
Not quite nukable, but why did Uno’s trash their menu? They used to make a good pizza (I loved the one with shrimp); but they got rid of most of their pizza specialties to turn into an Applebee’s wannabe! I tried to get a shrimp pizza and they couldn’t make it - like it was such a complicated recipe!
Chili’s has similarly wussified their menu in the last couple of years. I wouldn’t nuke them…yet.
You’ll hear no complaints from me. It’s not as actively offensive as Taco Bell, but I wouldn’t miss it. The only redeeming feature of Chipotle is you can get a bottle of beer there.
Seconded. “Olive Garden! For Crunchy Cold-spots, just like Momma used microwave.”
I’d nominate nuking Bickford’s Pancake Houses(from Hell ™) from orbit but even that wouldn’t put one full place setting per customer on the tables in front of them. That and the mutant regulars might grow to fantastic proportions. cue ‘Creature Features’ music
I will vote for Shoney’s, because of the time I ate a basket of chicken fingers, only to find that the last one in the basket was still raw in the middle. No, I didn’t eat the raw finger.
Even I know that chickens don’t have fingers. Why would you order a non-existent animal part? Stick to tried and tested cuts, like nuggets. 
I agree. I only ate there once, and I thought I was going to die of a heart attack afterwards. BTW, what’s the other ingredient besides 5 different types of lard?
Cracker Barrel must go. The last (and it will remain the last) time I ate there, I ordered a salad. My salad was greasy. Since when does lettuce contain grease? And if I want “home-style” food, I’ll cook at home.
I think this horrid place we went to in Myrtle Beach was a Johnny Rockets, that 50s-style diner. They brought the fries first, then the burgers 10 minutes later, and kept stopping table service to sing and dance on the counters and window ledges. Even my kids hated that place, and that’s saying a lot for starving toddlers and pre-schoolers.
I’m rather astonished that no one has yet mentioned Red Lobster. Almost everything on their menu is brought to the table swimming in nasty, yellow grease – it couldn’t possibly be butter.
The last time I went there, two years ago, I ordered the crab alfredo. It was so thoroughly smothered in cheese, I could not taste the crab, if, indeed, the dish contained any at all.
Not even their widely-praised garlic cheese biscuits (which I judged no better than “meh”) should spare them from the nuke.
Another vote for Cracker Barrel. I once had the “country ham” there, instead of the honey ham. After two bites, I realized what that nasty flavor reminded me of. Pee. I’ve never tasted pee, but I imagine it would taste like “country ham” from Cracker Barrel. I remarked about this to the other guys at my table, and one of them, brave soul that he is, tasted a bite. “Yep. That’s probably what pee tastes like.”
I second the Chili’s vote as well. I was gonna say it earlier but I couldn’t quite put into words what I disliked about it. Both times I’ve been there in recent memory, I could not decide what I wanted. I attributed that indecision to me not being a gourmand, and maybe too picky. It looks like the real reason I couldn’t decide what to have is that it’s all the same uninteresting crap.
I’ll put in a kind word for Friendly’s and Chilis – but only because when we had an ice storm last winter that knocked power (and since we have a well, water) out for much of the area; they were the only two places that were open where we could get warm, get a cup of hot chocolate, and something to eat. At that point, frankly, I didn’t care if it moo’ed or tasted like pee as long as it was hot.
My contribution: Cece’s Pizza. Take a buffet of hastily made crappy pizza, pack the pace with screaming children, and charge $3.99 for all you can eat. Between the din and the crappy food, it’s like Chuck-e-Cheese on drugs.
The last two times I was pregnant, I kept that place in business. Spinach alfredo pizza, cheeseburger pizza… I was in pregnant person heaven. My oldest son (who was 4) got so sick of it that he would just load up on salad and broccoli and carrots and skip the pizza. Even my husband would marvel at how many times I would reload my plate.
Now, I can’t stand it. But it was like crack for an expectant mommy; the place was always full of pregnant women. Wonder what they put in that stuff… Or maybe it was that we could eat 19 plates of pizza for $4.
Cici’s Pizza also got me through two degrees in Gainesville, Florida (along with Sonny’s Real Pit Barbecue, which is too awesome for anyone to ever consider nuking from orbit).
Sig line?
The Shoney’s around here aren’t much to write home about—and Charleston is where Shoney’s started! Our Cracker Barrels are pretty good; you’ll hit them on a bad day but overall, they’re not bad.
Second the motion (I can’t believe I didn’t include them on my list). What I can’t even begin to fathom is how any of them stay in business within 100 miles of the of any coast, but there they are. It’s like, “Honey, let’s have some fresh seafood tonight.” “No Dear, let’s go to Red Lobster instead.”
Cheesecake Factory don’t take reservations. No, not even for parties of 14. And no, you can’t call ahead to put your name and party on the seating list. They seat their guests in the order they arrive at the restaurant. Period.
Why do you think some of us showed up a half hour early?
And if they won’t take reservations, they have no call to be ill-disposed towards us for not making one.
Odd that I should see this thread…the shittiest Mexican restaurant I’ve ever eaten at was in Asheville, NC, where I pulled off the interstate for a bite a few years ago. It was a bad sign when the usual chips and salsa were Tostito’s–and I don’t just mean generic and full of preservatives, I mean I saw them shaking the Tostito’s chips out of an industrial-sized bag and filling a bowl from a big plastic Tostito’s bottle. And somehow, it was better than the rest of the food. It was like somebody learned about Mexican food from shitty 4/$1 frozen burritos and snack aisle chips and dip and built a restaurant around the concept. It was so awful that I wasn’t even upset about it, the same way you wouldn’t be upset if your 9-year-old did Burrito Night all by her little self and it didn’t turn out so good. I really felt bad for them.
We were in Asheville this past weekend, and it was gone. Wiped from the face of the Earth, with no trace that it was ever there.
Since the Universe is apparently taking my calls in this regard, I’ll agree with Domino’s and any place where the waitstaff sings or dances in the aisles.
Don’t they not?
C’mon, you had it comming