# Restraining Orders **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [December 16, 2008, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restraining-orders/477434 "2008-12-16T18:47:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restraining-orders/477434/1 "2008-12-16T18:47:44Z")
DISCLAIMER: This concerns a short story I’m writing. I am NOT seeking legal advice. Let’s say a young person (age 23) wants a certain family member out of his life, but she’s too thick-headed to understand he really means it. Therefore, he wants to file a restraining order against her, just to get her attention. Questions: (1) How much does it typically cost? (2) Does there have to be a specific reason for the order, or can they be filed by anyone at will? (3) Does it complicate things if the person’s in a separate state? (The locations in the story are West Hollywood, CA and Golden, CO.) ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restraining-orders/477434/2 "2008-12-16T19:11:55Z")
> [@KGS](#): > > DISCLAIMER: This concerns a short story I’m writing. I am NOT seeking legal advice. > > Let’s say a young person (age 23) wants a certain family member out of his life, but she’s too thick-headed to understand he really means it. Therefore, he wants to file a restraining order against her, just to get her attention. Questions: > > (1) How much does it typically cost? Filing fee is 320. [http://www.lasuperiorcourt.org/fees/pdf/fee-schedule.pdf](http://www.lasuperiorcourt.org/fees/pdf/fee-schedule.pdf) There could be additional costs, service and mailing, for example. Also, that doesn’t include any legal fees. > [@](#): > > (2) Does there have to be a specific reason for the order, or can they be filed by anyone at will? Yes. [http://www.kinseylaw.com/freestuff/selfhelp/civilharassment/freecivilharassmentforms.html](http://www.kinseylaw.com/freestuff/selfhelp/civilharassment/freecivilharassmentforms.html) Moreover, as you can see from the fee list, some kinds are free. And yes, in order to get a restraining order. > [@](#): > > (3) Does it complicate things if the person’s in a separate state? (The locations in the story are West Hollywood, CA and Golden, CO.) Yes. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restraining-orders/477434/3 "2008-12-16T20:47:05Z")
> [@Gfactor](#): > > Filing fee is 320. [http://www.lasuperiorcourt.org/fees/pdf/fee-schedule.pdf](http://www.lasuperiorcourt.org/fees/pdf/fee-schedule.pdf) Are you sure? According to your link, that seems to be a general civil suit filing fee. If you scroll down, a domestic violence petition is free. And I would assume the OP is talking of a domestic violence petition since they are family members and mentioned a “restraining order”. Hell, the law encourages DV protective orders in FL; they pass them out like free candy at a kid’s Halloween party.. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restraining-orders/477434/4 "2008-12-16T20:53:53Z")
Well, no. I’m not sure, because the OP doesn’t say. I’m assuming that they don’t have grounds for a free restraining order and merely want the family member “out of their life,” lack a “specific reason” for the order, and are filing “at will.” I mentioned that some kinds are free in my earlier post. ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restraining-orders/477434/5 "2008-12-16T21:14:41Z")
> [@jtgain](#): > > And I would assume the OP is talking of a domestic violence petition since they are family members and mentioned a “restraining order”. The story involves a young gay man who moves to California to care for his dying ex-lover. The mother (who’s in Colorado) naturally disapproves of the relationship, but only harasses them in subtle ways – such as helping pay medical bills, claiming it’s a gift at first, then demanding repayment. Would that count as “annoying or harassing”, or “causing the victim substantial emotional distress”, as shown in the Civil Harassment Form **GFactor** linked to? Also…could the mother contest the order, despite living in a separate state? (She could cite the young man’s history of psychiatric treatment, or claim the ex-lover had sexually abused him in the past, for example.) ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restraining-orders/477434/6 "2008-12-16T21:31:53Z")
> [@KGS](#): > > The story involves a young gay man who moves to California to care for his dying ex-lover. The mother (who’s in Colorado) naturally disapproves of the relationship, but only harasses them in subtle ways – such as helping pay medical bills, claiming it’s a gift at first, then demanding repayment. Would that count as “annoying or harassing”, or “causing the victim substantial emotional distress”, as shown in the Civil Harassment Form **GFactor** linked to? Probably not. Unless she’s being fairly aggressive in her attempts to collect. See > [@](#): > > Civil Harassment is either: > > 1. Unlawful violence, such as assault or battery; > 2. A credible threat of unlawful violence; or, > 3. A course of conduct (a series of acts) that seriously alarms, > annoys or harasses you and which has no legitimate purpose. > This could include, among other acts, repeated following, > stalking, or repeated harassing phone calls, mail or visits. > > Reasonable efforts to collect a debt, complaints to you or to the > police or others or rude conduct alone are not civil harassment. [http://www.ci.long-beach.ca.us/civica/filebank/blobdload.asp?BlobID=3371](http://www.ci.long-beach.ca.us/civica/filebank/blobdload.asp?BlobID=3371) Regarding fees in cases like that, see: [http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp/protection/civharassqna.htm#fee](http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp/protection/civharassqna.htm#fee) > [@](#): > > Also…could the mother contest the order, despite living in a separate state? Yes. ---
**Author:** ![ivn1188](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e480ec/32.png) [@ivn1188](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivn1188)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restraining-orders/477434/7 "2008-12-16T21:44:51Z")
> [@KGS](#): > > … only harasses them in subtle ways – such as helping pay medical bills, claiming it’s a gift at first, then demanding repayment. Slight hijack - If she claims its a gift when she pays, it’s a gift. It’s nearly impossible to retroactively take back a gift. ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restraining-orders/477434/8 "2008-12-16T22:26:29Z")
> [@ivn1188](#): > > Slight hijack - If she claims its a gift when she pays, it’s a gift. It’s nearly impossible to retroactively take back a gift. I had a feeling that was true. Thanks for the input, everyone…my main character knows how to proceed now. 🆒