# Restroom Etiquette and Genders **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 1, 2009, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restroom-etiquette-and-genders/519621 "2009-12-01T20:32:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restroom-etiquette-and-genders/519621/21 "2009-12-01T22:02:49Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > I was at a place where they had a long horizontal window above the urinal trough, around eye level so when you were taking a leak you could look out at the other customers while all they could see was mirror. I thought it was clever. I remember seeing a description of a men’s washroom in a skyscraper in, I think, Hong Kong. The urinal was a slab of vertical glass with a thin continuous sheet of water running down across it, and a trough at the bottom leading to a drain. The urinal was also a window on the sixtieth floor, affording a spectacular view of the metropolis. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restroom-etiquette-and-genders/519621/22 "2009-12-01T22:05:23Z")
> [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Would that this were true. I’ve gotten toilet calls, and they’ve only ever been from men. Were these guys on their home toilets, or on cellphones from public toilets? My brother started calling me from the pot the moment cordless phones became available, but I don’t recall hearing any cellphone calls from public toilets. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restroom-etiquette-and-genders/519621/23 "2009-12-01T22:14:50Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > Were these guys on their home toilets, or on cellphones from public toilets? My brother started calling me from the pot the moment cordless phones became available, but I don’t recall hearing any cellphone calls from public toilets. Unfortunately, it was very obvious they were in public toilets. And I’ve had other male friends tell me about encountering guys yammering away in stalls or even at the urinals. I’ve not yet seen or heard a woman do it, although I’m sure I will eventually. Just wrong. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restroom-etiquette-and-genders/519621/24 "2009-12-01T22:18:46Z")
> [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Unfortunately, it was very obvious they were in public toilets. > > And I’ve had other male friends tell me about encountering guys yammering away in stalls or even at the urinals. I’ve not yet seen or heard a woman do it, although I’m sure I will eventually. > Just wrong. It’s such a grievous violation of guy etiquette - and there really isn’t a whole lot you need to remember about guy etiquette - maybe I’ve seen or heard it but mentally blocked it from memory. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restroom-etiquette-and-genders/519621/25 "2009-12-01T22:35:58Z")
> [@Juliana](#): > > Lucky. Women talk to everybody in the bathroom. I mean, I was in the bathroom one day, doing my business, when my boss comes in yelling my name. She said, “Can I talk to you for a minute while you tinkle?” I mean, damn. Oh dear God. First, how do you know I’m just going to “tinkle”? This makes me again thankful that we have one-person rest rooms. YAY! ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restroom-etiquette-and-genders/519621/26 "2009-12-01T22:36:21Z")
As a QA rep, I have heard flushing during calls. It’s not pretty. No one should make a call to a customer service line from the bathroom: at home or at work. One day, I also heard a horrible noise that sounded like a fart. I asked if the caller was okay: she said, “Oh, yeah. I just hit the rumble strips.” She was driving. > [@gigi](#): > > Oh dear God. First, how do you know I’m just going to “tinkle”? This makes me again thankful that we have one-person rest rooms. YAY! That was the worst part. She couldn’t see I had a book with me. When I take a book to the potty, it ain’t to tinkle. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restroom-etiquette-and-genders/519621/27 "2009-12-01T23:30:20Z")
> [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Unfortunately, it was very obvious they were in public toilets. > > And I’ve had other male friends tell me about encountering guys yammering away in stalls or even at the urinals. I’ve not yet seen or heard a woman do it, although I’m sure I will eventually. > Just wrong. He should hand in his man card for that. That’s just bad form. The home toilet is bad enough, but initiating calls in a public bathroom is a blatant violation of the Man Code and he should be stripped of his cell phone privileges until he learns to behave. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restroom-etiquette-and-genders/519621/28 "2009-12-02T00:11:48Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > What I never understood is the huge divergence in privacy between the sexes. Here we have women who are more capable of being social, they are afforded walls and usually doors on the stalls. > > Whereas men, typically unsocial, not only have no walls between urinals from time to time, but even large troughs to piss in. I’ll never understand it. Even at my office, no walls in-between the urinals. I think women would become suddenly less social in bathrooms if we weren’t afforded private stalls. I’d be more likely to cut the chitchat if I had to have my open girly parts peeing in front of everyone. There would be no talk, no eye contact, no acknowledgment at all of other people’s presence. Just pee, and we’ll all act like nobody’s groin is exposed. > [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > See, that’s pretty much my view on it, too, and I’m a female. If a friend and I are having a conversation, we may continue talking when we get into the bathroom, but it stops when we enter the stalls. I have on rare occasions talked to strangers at the sink. Once at a restaurant, a woman was trying to put her hair up, and her hair tie broke, so I lent her mine. But I can’t fathom making friends with someone in that situation, either. > > … > > I think it’s because there’s a stall. It adds an extra layer of privacy, thus making the sink area more public. Even women who chat by the sink generally shut up in the stall. We have Bathroom Talkers, too, but to me, it refers specifically to someone who talks when they or the person they’re talking to is in a stall. And it’s a bad, bad thing. > > … > > But the point is, that’s nuts, and in my experience, women who talk in the stalls (other than to ask for toilet paper or a tampon) are blessedly rare. > [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > As a woman (and thus not having to deal with urinal etiquette and the uncomfortableness about talking there), I’m OK with chatter as long as none of those involved are in a stall while it’s going on. I wouldn’t engage in long, drawn-out conversations unless you’re stuck in there for an extended time - say, a terribly long line at some event or other busy location. However, once you’re in the stall and thus down to business, that’s quiet time. I don’t want anyone talking to me when I’m in a stall, and I don’t want anyone in a stall expecting me to converse with them. I think these folks are on the trolley. I don’t want to talk over the sound of my pee hitting the water. I don’t want to talk to you while I’m dabbing piss off my womanly area. I suppose the reason so many women are comfortable talking in the bathroom is because all the peeing, ladies accessories changing, wiping, etc is happening behind closed doors. It’s almost like it’s happening in another room that’s technically in the same room. I talk by the sink all the time. But behind me is not a group of women with their pants down, letting it flow. ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restroom-etiquette-and-genders/519621/29 "2009-12-02T00:41:10Z")
Uh, no…I do not chatter while in the bathroom. That is just weird and I’ve never understood other women’s need to do so. I go in there, take care of business, wash my hands, and get the hell out. As to the privacy wall or stalls in women’s public restrooms, I think you’re all forgetting about a woman’s monthly visitor. No one wants to see that. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restroom-etiquette-and-genders/519621/30 "2009-12-02T04:47:56Z")
> [@Juliana](#): > > As a QA rep, I have heard flushing during calls. It’s not pretty. No one should make a call to a customer service line from the bathroom: at home or at work. Well, they probably were not in the bathroom when they made the call. But after waiting on the line for a few hours, they needed to go. And are not about to hang up, and have to start over again on that waiting! ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restroom-etiquette-and-genders/519621/31 "2009-12-02T05:07:19Z")
> [@Juliana](#): > > Do men use the stalls as their own personal phone booth? At work, I can’t seem to walk into the women’s restroom without someone being in there talking on a cell phone. I mean, what are you supposed to do if you have to make an embarrassing loud noise? Do you hold it or just let her rip? I flush repeatedly. Bathroom stalls are not personal phone booths; if you’re uncouth enough to treat a bathroom stall as your Superchattingroom, at the very least the person on the other end should know it. Another one for “the sinks area is treated as public, it’s the stalls that are private.” ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restroom-etiquette-and-genders/519621/32 "2009-12-02T06:57:25Z")
> [@Juliana](#): > > Do men use the stalls as their own personal phone booth? At work, I can’t seem to walk into the women’s restroom without someone being in there talking on a cell phone. I mean, what are you supposed to do if you have to make an embarrassing loud noise? Do you hold it or just let her rip? I let it rip, and am not embarrassed. After all, I’m using the room and area for its intended purpose, and I certainly try to avoid farting in other public areas. However, bathrooms are meant for elimination. I’ll chat at the sink, but as a general rule, if someone’s in the stall, or I’m in a stall, or both, I only talk to them to impart vital information, such as “Your kid is crawling under the partition to my stall, and I really don’t want or need the company” or “That stall’s out of tissue, I’ll pass some under the barrier to you”, or something similar. At home, I am Not Allowed to close the bathroom door all the way, or all three cats will have hissy fits. They want to keep Mama company and two of them want sink drinks while I do my business. But that’s in my home, and nobody else is affected by it, other than the housekeeper, because the cats also try to keep HER company when she’s working on the bathroom. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restroom-etiquette-and-genders/519621/33 "2009-12-02T07:26:22Z")
I certainly wouldn’t initiate contact with another man: not at the urinal, not at the sink, and preferably not outside the restroom either. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restroom-etiquette-and-genders/519621/34 "2009-12-02T12:45:19Z")
> [@](#): > > High-class joints I know post the day’s sports pages above the urinals. 1.) Not just high-class joints 2.) Not just the sports – some have the Front Page 3.) Back when I was an undergrad, one of the rows of urinals at a men’s room at MIT had a blackboard (and chalk) above the urinals. _That_ was clever. I haven’t been back to that one in quite a while, so I don’t know if it’s still there. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restroom-etiquette-and-genders/519621/35 "2009-12-02T13:45:20Z")
> [@Taters](#): > > Uh, no…I do not chatter while in the bathroom. That is just weird and I’ve never understood other women’s need to do so. I go in there, take care of business, wash my hands, and get the hell out. > > As to the privacy wall or stalls in women’s public restrooms, I think you’re all forgetting about a woman’s monthly visitor. No one wants to see that. Don’t men have stalls/walls, too? ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restroom-etiquette-and-genders/519621/36 "2009-12-02T14:02:39Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Don’t men have stalls/walls, too? Men’s latrines do have stalls for the potties, but a row of urinals along the wall may or may not have a little divider wall between them. Very often, not. If the urinal is a long trough, then of course no privacy anything and if it’s busy, you’re literally peeing shoulder to shoulder with other guys. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restroom-etiquette-and-genders/519621/37 "2009-12-02T14:05:39Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > Men’s latrines do have stalls for the potties, but a row of urinals along the wall may or may not have a little divider wall between them. Very often, not. If the urinal is a long trough, then of course no privacy anything and if it’s busy, you’re literally peeing shoulder to shoulder with other guys. Well, if you wanted privacy, you _could_ just go into the potty, whether you were pissing or shitting. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restroom-etiquette-and-genders/519621/38 "2009-12-02T14:12:27Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Well, if you wanted privacy, you _could_ just go into the potty, whether you were pissing or shitting. No. Peeing in a stall shows weakness. You never show weakness in a room full of men with their junk out. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![LiveOnAPlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@LiveOnAPlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveOnAPlane)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restroom-etiquette-and-genders/519621/39 "2009-12-02T14:13:30Z")
Yeah, men chatting at the urinals is just not proper man behavior. I did hear this intriguing bit in an airport restroom once, though: Man 1: “Whew…I just made this.” Man 2: “Damn! Can you make me one just like it?” ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restroom-etiquette-and-genders/519621/40 "2009-12-02T15:38:03Z")
My male coworker at an old job used to tell me when our boss would bark on his phone while taking a dump. I never socialized there, just the opposite – nervous smiles and eye rolls while waiting in line then desperate attempts to disguise whatever sounds we were making (ripping open tampons, bathroom farting, etc.) The only friends I’ve made have also been waiting in line, but at clubs or bars or that sort of thing. Usually I sort of knew them before. But when you’re young and clubbing you just want someone to dance with. Or who has an extra tampon. Or drugs. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restroom-etiquette-and-genders/519621.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/restroom-etiquette-and-genders/519621.md?page=3)