# Retail is a hoot! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 29, 2016, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/retail-is-a-hoot/775865 "2016-12-29T20:46:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/retail-is-a-hoot/775865/21 "2017-01-02T05:11:48Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Ah, yes. The customer who will ask you if you have something. “I’m sorry, we don’t carry that item.” So they go ask someone else. “No, we don’t have it.” Lather, rinse, repeat. I’ve done this as a customer. And I’ve sometimes succeeded in finding the product. Because there are retail employees who either don’t want to be bothered, or don’t know how to find something they don’t know. In short, they find it easier to “just say no”. One example: I asked a Target employee stocking the shelves where I could find the Woolite. He told me they didn’t carry it. What should I have done? I know that low-wage jobs are not pleasant (I used to work at them, and I’m pretty sure it’s worse now). I wouldn’t be surprised if there are greater consequences today for employees who admit they don’t know something, and higher workloads. I’m not one of those customers who yell or complain to the managers. But if someone won’t help me, I’ll find someone who will. Nothin’ personal. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/retail-is-a-hoot/775865/22 "2017-01-02T05:47:14Z")
I worked at Radio Shack (much to my shame and embarrassment), and one day this guy comes bursting through the door, waving something in his hand, visibly excited. In a stream of verbiage, "_Justfoundgreatwhatisitbatteryshelpwhatkind!"_ Positively quaking in agitation. He sets _his bible_ down on the counter (paying attention?), and opens his hand and shows me this little black key-fob looking thing with 4 colored buttons. I open it up, figure out what he needs, take him to the battery section, hook him up with the correct, modestly expensive batteries, and we walk back to the counter. He is so busy tearing into the little batteries, I eschew the normal protocol and move beyond “Phone Number, Name, Bullshit” and just ring him up. He’s standing there, like a kid on Christmas Morning, grinning and dancing, installs the batteries, pushes the red button, and the device says, _ **FUCK YOU!** _ The look on his face froze, than slowly drained from Sheer Joy to Abject Terror, he hit the second button, _ **YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!** _ Next, _ **FUCKIN’ JERK!** _ His Wheaties were totally shat! He was visibly ruined. That’s when I hit him, “That’ll be $6 bucks!”. He kinda stammered and shuffled, glazed eyed handed me some cash, tried to regain a little composure, gathering up torn open battery packs and thrusting them into his pockets with his change and the receipt, picking up his bible and staggering out the door. He came back, very sheepishly, and kind of “himed and hawed” about how he made a mistake, blah blah blah. I gave him his money back, no questions or hard time. I kept that little thing for years, till the little rubber buttons got too hot in my garage and turned to goo. It always made for a good story. I think the guts are out there in a box, to this day. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/retail-is-a-hoot/775865/23 "2017-01-02T05:52:05Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > I think I’ve shared this one before. > Got a call transferred to me from the appliance department from an irate customer who would only talk to a manager. Seems he bought a washing machine from us and when he got it home it was the wrong color. He said that there was no way in hell he was bringing it back and that we needed to drop everything, get a delivery truck, and bring him the right one right NOW! > I told him he needed to calm down if I was to help him and I needed some info from him. > “What color did you want?” > “WHITE!” > “Okay, what model number is on your receipt?” > “123456W!” > “Okay, what model number is on the box?” > “123346W!” > “Okay, and what color is the unit?” > “PINK!” > “…did you say pink?” > “YES, IT’S PINK! NOW WHEN THE HELL WILL YOU BRING ME THE RIGHT ONE!” > “…Sir, that’s just a protective film on the unit. Find the edge on it and it should peel right off.” > “WHAT! HOLD ON A SECOND!.. > … > … nevermind” (click) Back in July, I bought a pair of industrial ventilation fans to help out until the AC guy could track down what was causing our AC to blow warm. The metal blades for these fans were a very nice shade of blue rather than the bare aluminum look seen in the photos. Had no clue that the blue was a protective film until it started peeling! ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/retail-is-a-hoot/775865/24 "2017-01-02T06:02:04Z")
I had some folks complain about a TV picture that was kind of blurry. The man said “it’s almost like there’s a film over it”. When I pulled off the protective film for them, they were pretty embarrassed. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/retail-is-a-hoot/775865/25 "2017-01-02T14:09:18Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > Me: For your travels in Europe, you will need a set of plug adapters and this voltage converter. > Mom: Ok > Kid: You don’t need the voltage converter thing, remember that trip I took? I didn’t need one then. > Mom: We’ll just take the plug adapter set > Me: You really do need the voltage converter as well. > Mom: No, thank you, just the plug adapters > Mom to Kid: Say, was that the trip where your hairdryer caught on fire? > Me: _head explodes_ In all fairness: my wife’s hairdryer says very clearly that it is okay to use on 220V, so long as you use only the low heat setting. The blower motor works fine. And every laptop I have seen for the last 20 years can operate on any voltage from 100 to 240 and either 50 or 60 Hz. ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/retail-is-a-hoot/775865/26 "2017-01-02T15:39:56Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > I had some folks complain about a TV picture that was kind of blurry. The man said “it’s almost like there’s a film over it”. When I pulled off the protective film for them, they were pretty embarrassed. I worked in the cell phone business back when cameras were just becoming popular on phones, and when touch screens were becoming popular. I dealt with factory failures for both cameras and touch screens that I root caused to protective film…camera image quality, and unresponsive touch screens. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/retail-is-a-hoot/775865/27 "2017-01-02T16:00:53Z")
Many years ago I worked as a baker in a huge local Wal-Mart. This was before they went 24/7, and they actually closed on Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving. The latter holiday is important. We closed at 10:00PM then, and it’s 9:00PM, I’d been working with cakes all day. Other bakers had done dinner rolls, making three times, at least, the normal amounts because the next day was Thanksgiving. A lady approaches the counter, asking for dinner rolls, but still we are wiped out. “Will you be making any more?” 😕 Lady, you must not know anything at all about baking. Making the dough, letting it rise, baking it off, letting it cool, and wrapping it up takes _considerably_ more than an hour. I was nice to her, but she still walked away a little puzzled that she couldn’t get dinner rolls. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/retail-is-a-hoot/775865/28 "2017-01-02T16:31:47Z")
To be fair, if you’ve never baked bread or rolls, apart from those you whomp out of a refrigerator roll, you may have no idea how long the process takes. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/retail-is-a-hoot/775865/29 "2017-01-02T17:25:57Z")
Well, **Mom** , I did try to direct her to the refrigerator rolls that were left, but that’s not what she wanted. ---
**Author:** ![JHBoom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/13edae/32.png) [@JHBoom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JHBoom)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/retail-is-a-hoot/775865/30 "2017-01-02T20:17:14Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > He’s standing there, like a kid on Christmas Morning, grinning and dancing, installs the batteries, pushes the red button, and the device says, > > _ **FUCK YOU!** _ Holy resurrected memory… I remember those things being all the rage for several months in my mid-teens. There were local variants as well. One of the NJ beaches (Wildwood, specifically) had tram cars that ran along the Boardwalk for people to ride; the tram drivers had a “horn” button that played a woman’s voice that said “_Watch the tram car, please_”. Someone recorded, hacked, whatever… to make one of those fobs that said “_Fuck the tram car, please_”. They sold like hotcakes. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2017, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/retail-is-a-hoot/775865/31 "2017-01-03T14:19:13Z")
This one was a hoot. A customer is yaking very loudly on her cell phone while I’m ringing her up. I have to ask her twice for payment and then _SURPRISE_ she can’t find her credit card. (Why don’t they find it before they get on line?) The customer waiting behind her makes some very rude remarks. She goes out and tell her boyfriend that I cussed her out. He comes back in the store and yells at me for cussing his girlfriend out. There were cashiers and the head cashier at the registers. There are aisle workers who will come to the registers if there is any hint of trouble. The store manager and one of the owners who manages all the personnel are at the registers. There are video cameras recording my every move. _Yet nobody and nothing heard me cussing a customer out_. As all the above people are standing there with their jaws dropped, I reply in my hautiest Bostonian voice “I did _not_ cuss anyone out, and even if I did, you have _no_ right to come in here and yell at me.” He goes into the old idea that “the customer is always right,” and gets the two managers asking him to leave the store. They leave. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2017, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/retail-is-a-hoot/775865/32 "2017-01-03T14:54:47Z")
I once had a woman ask me if I know what short sleeves are. She then helpfully explained that they are the ones that only come halfway down your arm instead of all the way to the wrist, since because I was standing at a cash register I’m stupider than a brain-damaged paramecium… My favorite is still the “THOSE ARE NOT CLOTHES!!!” harpy from the little girls’ department. It was early July and we had just started getting fall/winter things in, so maybe one rack of sweatsuits and sweaters. TANC!!! Harpy came in and asked for girls’ school clothes, so I dutifully showed her the one rack of fall things. “THOSE ARE NOT CLOTHES!!!” she shouted at me. My reaction was basically :dubious:, because yes-uh, they so completely are clothes, neener neener. “THOSE ARE NOT CLOTHES!!!” she shouted again. “THOSE ARE JOGGING OUTFITS AND SWEATERS!!! THOSE ARE NOT _ **CLOTHES** _!!! I WANT _ **BLOUSES** _ AND _ **DRESSES** _ AND _ **SKIRTS** _!!! _ **THOSE ARE NOT CLOTHES** _!!!” getting louder by the second and hammering on her purse with her fist with each word. I just walked away from her. THe cake, however, is taken by the guy who was taking little boys’ gloves, using them to beat off in the dressing room, and putting them back on the display! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2017, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/retail-is-a-hoot/775865/33 "2017-01-03T16:07:35Z")
> [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](#): > > I worked in the cell phone business back when cameras were just becoming popular on phones, and when touch screens were becoming popular. I dealt with factory failures for both cameras and touch screens that I root caused to protective film…camera image quality, and unresponsive touch screens. :smack: So…for the purpose of this thread, based on all of the posts, can we all agree that the “shipping film on surface” issue is a universal problem that should be addressed in some way and is not a retail/stoopid-customer issue? ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2017, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/retail-is-a-hoot/775865/34 "2017-01-03T19:55:00Z")
> [@Azeotrope](#): > > THe cake, however, is taken by the guy who was taking little boys’ gloves, using them to beat off in the dressing room, and putting them back on the display! :eek: It didn’t happen to me, but to my co-worker. We worked the fitting room…you know, counting the clothes, giving you a tag, putting back what you don’t want, etc. This guy came in to try on bathing suits, then handed them back to her with a smirk. I would have quit right then and there. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2017, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/retail-is-a-hoot/775865/35 "2017-01-03T20:37:03Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > Many years ago I worked as a baker in a huge local Wal-Mart. This was before they went 24/7, and they actually closed on Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving. > > The latter holiday is important. We closed at 10:00PM then, and it’s 9:00PM, I’d been working with cakes all day. Other bakers had done dinner rolls, making three times, at least, the normal amounts because the next day was Thanksgiving. I’m amazed at the idea that Walmart had a store with an in-store bakery with multiple bakers who made dinner rolls from scratch. Today, they’d only sell bags of ready-to-eat dinner rolls. And from other threads, I’ve learned that in many supermarkets, the sheet cakes come pre-baked and are cut to size and iced at the store. (Usually in the supermarket or Costco, I might only see one or two people in the back of the bakery.) But I suppose at one point the supermarket meat department had Sam-the-Butcher (as in The Brady Bunch) behind a counter ready to cut whatever you wanted. Today, you can usually get someone to cut you something special but most meat department sales are the stuff that comes from a distributor already in shrink-wrap on foam trays. And at one point, Woolworth stores had lunch counters where the food was actually made from scratch and served on actual dishes. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2017, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/retail-is-a-hoot/775865/36 "2017-01-03T20:38:13Z")
From a former job: Miss Anna Cephaly: “Do you carry Vanderbilt perfume” Me: “Yes, ma’am.” Miss Anna Cephaly: “What sizes do you carry?” Me: “1.7oz and 3.4oz.” Miss Anna Cephaly: “Which is bigger?” I was glad it was a phone call ,because my facial expression would have gotten me fired.:smack::eek::dubious:😕 ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2017, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/retail-is-a-hoot/775865/37 "2017-01-03T21:22:34Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > I’m amazed at the idea that Walmart had a store with an in-store bakery with multiple bakers who made dinner rolls from scratch. Multiple bakers are a rarity nowadays unless you work for a chain which does enough business to warrant more than one baker. What usually happens is that a PT person is trained to _do_ a basic bake, say breakfast items, standard bread, maybe rolls. Everything else is saved for the actual baker (note singular). > [@](#): > > Today, they’d only sell bags of ready-to-eat dinner rolls. And from other threads, I’ve learned that in many supermarkets, the sheet cakes come pre-baked and are cut to size and iced at the store. (Usually in the supermarket or Costco, I might only see one or two people in the back of the bakery.) It’s because of labor costs, pure and simple. The higher COL in a given area, the chances are slimmer that a store will have a dedicated scratch baker. It’s cheaper to have frozen product shipped in and have PT (read lower-cost) people divvy up that product. Because of the production/labor costs vs. the actual cost of product (flour, sugar, and yeast are cheap), the less employees you have working the more payroll will be saved. The corollary is that you have to bake a ton of product to make a little $, so economically it makes sense to have frozen product shipped in. Bonus for payroll: You don’t _need_ a dedicated scratch baker on staff which would otherwise cost you $$$. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2017, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/retail-is-a-hoot/775865/38 "2017-01-03T21:50:10Z")
Believe me, I understand _why_ things have changed. It’s just the changes are so gradual that generally you don’t think about how it used to be. ---
**Author:** ![Balthisar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/balthisar/32/2825_2.png) [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/retail-is-a-hoot/775865/39 "2017-01-04T12:37:09Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Believe me, I understand _why_ things have changed. It’s just the changes are so gradual that generally you don’t think about how it used to be. I guess I’m old enough to finally worry about showing my age, but “how it used to be” was grocers like Kroger et al didn’t have butchers or bakeries at all; you would go to a butcher or bakery separately if you needed something that wasn’t pre-packaged. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/retail-is-a-hoot/775865/40 "2017-01-04T17:18:39Z")
> [@Balthisar](#): > > I guess I’m old enough to finally worry about showing my age, but “how it used to be” was grocers like Kroger et al didn’t have butchers or bakeries at all; you would go to a butcher or bakery separately if you needed something that wasn’t pre-packaged. Oh god yes, I remember this too. …why no, I’m not THAT old, am I? :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/retail-is-a-hoot/775865.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/retail-is-a-hoot/775865.md?page=3)