# Return of The Princess Bride Jedi?? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 6, 2001, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/return-of-the-princess-bride-jedi/48698 "2001-01-06T05:25:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/return-of-the-princess-bride-jedi/48698/21 "2001-01-07T22:31:13Z")
\*Before entering the FireSwamp \* Buutercup: I have a bad feeling about this… \*Just before the Deathstar explodes \* No!!! Not to ten!!! ```auto 1953: An American B-47 accidentally dropped a nuclear bomb on South Carolina, however the bomb did not go off due to several safety catches, Walt Disney's "Peter Pan" premiered, The Crucible open son Broadway, Korean war ends, Audrey Hepburn was featured on the cover of Life Magazine, Ian Fleming published the first James Bond book: "Casino Royale." Playboy Magazine featured Marilyn Monroe as its first cover girl and nude centerfold in the premiere issue ``` ---
**Author:** ![Togepi\_no\_Miko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@Togepi\_no\_Miko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Togepi_no_Miko)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2001, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/return-of-the-princess-bride-jedi/48698/22 "2001-01-08T16:02:04Z")
Lol! Yoda. Yoda was just after stew. Darth Wesley? oh god… Someone who knows how to do links should tell the people on the What made you laugh today thread about this. Long ago, in a galaxy far far away-- No. There is too much. let me sum up. ---
**Author:** ![Melpomene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/0ea827/32.png) [@Melpomene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melpomene)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2001, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/return-of-the-princess-bride-jedi/48698/23 "2001-01-08T16:13:10Z")
OMG!! ROFLMAO!! I’m dying over here!! PB is tied as one of my all-time favorite flicks, so this is just too much for me to handle!! Breathe…1…2…3…4…5… ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2001, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/return-of-the-princess-bride-jedi/48698/24 "2001-01-08T16:17:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Togepi no Miko \* > \*\*Lol! > > Long ago, in a galaxy far far away-- No. There is too much. let me sum up. > > \*\* No. There isa no time. Let me sum up. ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2001, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/return-of-the-princess-bride-jedi/48698/25 "2001-01-08T17:16:04Z")
“Use the Force, Luke!” “You kip using that word; I do not think it mins what you think it mins…” “I did not say he was my love, and yes, he will come for me; he can track a Millenium Falcon across a cloudy sky, and he can find you!” ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2001, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/return-of-the-princess-bride-jedi/48698/26 "2001-01-08T20:01:37Z")
“OK, now _those_ have got to be ROUSs.” “Nope. Ewoks.” ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2001, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/return-of-the-princess-bride-jedi/48698/27 "2001-01-08T21:20:09Z")
You guys are awesome! Especially you, **Doc**! PB is my second all-time favorite movie. And I love the SW’s too. I am laughing so hard! Wish I could come up with one… ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2001, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/return-of-the-princess-bride-jedi/48698/28 "2001-01-08T21:29:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DocDaneeka \* > \*\*“Hello. My name is Luke Skywalker. You are my father. Prepare to die.” \*\* This is now a bumpersticker for my car. ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2001, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/return-of-the-princess-bride-jedi/48698/29 "2001-01-08T21:35:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DocDaneeka \* > \*\*“Hello. My name is Luke Skywalker. You are my father. Prepare to die.” \*\* “you must be that little Jedi brat I taught a lesson to all those years ago…” ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2001, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/return-of-the-princess-bride-jedi/48698/30 "2001-01-08T21:36:10Z")
“Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1!” “Astroids cannot stop true love. They can only delay it for awhile.” Nothing gave Yoda as much pleasure as ordering Luke around. “Farm boy, polish my walking stick. I want to see my face shining in it by morning. “Yes Master Yoda.” "Yes Master Yoda " was all he ever said to him. “Farm boy, let me ride on your back through the swamp-- please.” “Yes Master Yoda” That day, Yoda was amazed to discover that when Luke was saying “Yes Master Yoda”, what he meant was, “I love you.” And even more amazing was the day Yoda realized he truly loved Luke back. “Farm boy… fetch me that X-wing.” “Yes Master Yoda.” “Hold it, hold it! What is this? Are you trying to trick me? Where’s the light sabres? Where’s the space battles? Is this a kissing book?” “Wait, just wait.” “Well, when do we get to Vader?!” “Who are you?” “No one of consequence.” “I must know…” “I am your father.” “Nooooooooooooooooooooooo” “Emperor, you know how much I love watching you work. But I’ve got Luke to convert, a deathstar to build, some Ewoks to kill, and a galaxy to conquer. I’m swamped!” “Get some rest, Darth. If you haven’t got your force, you haven’t got anything.” ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2001, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/return-of-the-princess-bride-jedi/48698/31 "2001-01-08T22:21:13Z")
This is so funny! I haven’t enjoyed a thread this much in quite a while. Some of the best one-liners I’ve read in quite some time. I will be printing this thread out to enjoy over and over. I only wish I had something to contribute, but I’m a little too drugged out on cold meds to think of any at the moment. 😛 Dpr, my buddy, thank you so much for starting this thread. I have really been in need of some deep belly laughs, even if they did set off some coughing from this retched cold. 😃 DocDaneeka, I’m so pleased to make your acquaintance. Excellent posts! I shall enjoy looking for more of your wit. So many great posts here, I won’t name them all. Now I’ll have to go get Princess Bride to watch again. \ ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2001, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/return-of-the-princess-bride-jedi/48698/32 "2001-01-08T22:39:54Z")
It was one of the greatest kisses in the history of the world…but she would rather kiss the Wookie. ---
**Author:** ![DocDaneeka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c68b51/32.png) [@DocDaneeka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocDaneeka)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/return-of-the-princess-bride-jedi/48698/33 "2001-01-09T04:10:38Z")
Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I’ll tell you why; so that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness is yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman that cries out, ‘dear god what is that thing!’ will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever. On the other hand, you could cover your hideousnous in creepy black body armor and become a powerful dark overlord who can kill with a thought. Man, you guys are hilarious. And thanks for the words of encouragement 😃 I’m hurting my brain trying to come up with more. We should start a new thread for combining 2 books or movies or whatever. Maybe I’ll do that… ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Sang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ee7513/32.png) [@Le\_Sang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Sang)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/return-of-the-princess-bride-jedi/48698/34 "2001-01-09T04:26:14Z")
Threepeio: You are to be taken to the Great Pit of Carcoon, where you will be cast into the belly of the sarlaac. Here you will learn a new definition of pain and suffering as you are slowly digested over a thousand years. Westley: Oh, so it’s to be torture. I can take torture. * * * Han: You can tell that slimy piece of worm-ridden filth that he’ll get no such pleasure from us… Humperdink: That may be the first time that any man has dared insult me… ---
**Author:** ![relic\_11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/50afbb/32.png) [@relic\_11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/relic_11)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/return-of-the-princess-bride-jedi/48698/35 "2001-01-09T04:36:41Z")
> [@](#): > > It could be…I read it in the original Yiddish. _gasp!_ Oy gevalt! Where can I get some of that! ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/return-of-the-princess-bride-jedi/48698/36 "2001-01-09T04:52:55Z")
Right now I’m picturing Andre the Giant wearing a fur suit and growling a lot… “Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?” “Rooooar!” * * * “Never go in against a Sith when your destiny is on the line!” * * * “Are you the Miracle Max that works for the king?” “Miracle Max? Miracle Max… that’s a name I’ve not heard for a long time…” “Oh, so you know him?” “Of course I know him! He’s me! And the King’s stinking son fired me.” * * * “He’s only MOSTLY more powerful than you can possibly imagine…” * * * “You know what those are, Princess? Those are the Shrieking Sarlaccs! They grow louder as they’re about to feed on Mandalorian Armor!” ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/return-of-the-princess-bride-jedi/48698/37 "2001-01-09T14:15:40Z")
“Meesa give yousa my worda as Gungan you reacha palace 'live” Armidala: No good. I’ve known too many Gungans… “Kessels Run in six parsecs? I wonna if he’s using the same wind we are…” “Aren’t you a little short for a pirate?” Tarkin: “They got through the asteroid belt? Inconceivable!!!” Great job Doc - been meaning to compliment you. You’re now on my favourite new posters list. Oh and Ender re: “…Are you trying to trick me? Where’s the light sabres? Where’s the space battles? Is this a kissing book?”: **BWAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!** ```auto 1961: Bay of Pigs disaster , Diana - the Princess of Wales - was born, The Beach Boys band was formed, Soviet ballet star Rudolf Nureyev (d.1993) defected ``` ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/return-of-the-princess-bride-jedi/48698/38 "2001-01-09T22:02:40Z")
“Go kiss a Wookie!” “Of all the kisses in the history of the world, this was among the top five.” ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/return-of-the-princess-bride-jedi/48698/39 "2001-01-09T22:40:33Z")
In the garbage hold: Leia: “_Bow_ to the queen of putrescence!!” ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/return-of-the-princess-bride-jedi/48698/40 "2001-01-10T14:08:38Z")
Luke: Why are you wearing that mask? Were you burned by acid, or something like that? Vader: No, it’s just that they’re terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in a few years… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/return-of-the-princess-bride-jedi/48698.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/return-of-the-princess-bride-jedi/48698.md?page=3)