# Reveal Your Unattractive Celebrity Crush **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 23, 2002, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569 "2002-12-23T18:49:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/41 "2002-12-23T22:36:29Z")
Ralph Nader. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/42 "2002-12-23T22:46:01Z")
Oh my gosh. This is so bizarre, and twisted, but (work with me here) when he was young (_young_, I tell you!) Charles Durning had a way about him. Cute, a little bit. Not that I found him all that sexually attractive, necessarily, but I don’t know…he was _cute_. But now that he’s about 70 years old, those “cute” days are _waaay_ over. But there was a moment, a fleeting moment, when he was cute. ::hangs my head in shame:: Another rather obscure cutie (in his younger years) was George Dzundza. I can’t explain it. He was cute. (I don’t know what he looks like now, though.) So much for the theory some people have about fat guys not being cute, or that some of us women have a double standard about fat guys vs. fat chicks. George definitely qualifies as a fat not terribly attractive guy, and yet still, cute. Oh, and while we’re on the topic of fat not terribly attractive guys, Oliver Platt. He’s cute now. (Well, at least the last time I saw him in a film, which have been maybe a few years ago.) ---
**Author:** ![Dumbguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Dumbguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dumbguy)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/43 "2002-12-23T22:56:16Z")
[Jane Adams](http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/PersonDetail/personid-29835) [Beth Orton](http://www.beth-orton.co.uk/Discography/Covers/CentralAlbum-Front.jpg) [Kennedy](http://www.kepplerassociates.com/deletes/deleted_pages/kennedy.htm) [Carrie Brownstein](http://www.rollingstone.com/photos/bigphoto.asp?gid=1267&s=1&e=5&seq=4&cf=1267) It’s a stretch to call these women _unattractive_, but hell, someone said Michelle Pfeiffer. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/44 "2002-12-23T23:00:23Z")
Ed Begley Jr: I dream about this man. Dennis Franz: has turned me on through both the Blues (Hill Street and NYPD). **auntie em,** I’ve stood less than 10 feet from Stevie Ray in small clubs. That man’s arms made my panties sweat. Damn, he was a hunka. ---
**Author:** ![XJETGIRLX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9fc29f/32.png) [@XJETGIRLX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XJETGIRLX)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/45 "2002-12-23T23:13:38Z")
I dunno what it is, but there’s something about both Christopher Walken and Jeff Goldblum that do it for me. I guess it’s the whole tall & creepy thing. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/46 "2002-12-23T23:26:04Z")
Anna Nicole Smith really. ---
**Author:** ![malkavia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malkavia/32/5621_2.png) [@malkavia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malkavia)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/47 "2002-12-23T23:26:14Z")
Christopher Walken, totally. Also, I would give an ovary for a night alone with Trey Parker. His smile just does it for me. Count me in with Kevin Spacey, Tim Robbins, Jeff Bridges and I wouldnt mind making out with Joe Don Baker a la Mitchell. _hide_ ---
**Author:** ![malkavia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malkavia/32/5621_2.png) [@malkavia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malkavia)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/48 "2002-12-23T23:29:34Z")
Oh man, I used to have the raunchiest Anna Nicole Smith lesbian fantasies… …but everytime I catch her show… that part of me dies a little more. I’d definitely tumble around with Jeneane Garofalo though. And Ellen DeGeneres too. I think. But they all pale in comparison to the horrible things I’d do if left alone with Tori Amos for a night. And I suppose her beauty could be considered “unique”, but I don’t think she quite belongs here. ---
**Author:** ![Blibbleblabble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@Blibbleblabble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blibbleblabble)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/49 "2002-12-23T23:38:19Z")
I don’t know her name, but that chick that plays Tony Soprano’s sister. ---
**Author:** ![DemonSpawn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac8455/32.png) [@DemonSpawn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DemonSpawn)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/50 "2002-12-23T23:45:19Z")
I don’t know what exactly attracts me about her … but I really like Amanda Plummer. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/51 "2002-12-23T23:58:15Z")
Ryan Stiles. Billy Idol. (yeah, skeeves \*me[i/] out too, but he was very, very hot.) ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/52 "2002-12-24T01:45:04Z")
Heh. Jason Mewes or Bam Magera from Jackass. Sure, they’re not seemingly bright and probably smell funny but they’d keep you laughing. Besides, my guy always says I’ll leave him for someone less intelligent, just so I can win all the arguments… ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/53 "2002-12-24T03:08:17Z")
Richard Lewis ---
**Author:** ![Misha77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Misha77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misha77)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/54 "2002-12-24T03:20:27Z")
So I’m not the only one! I think Bam Margera is fine, but kind of scary. I think his father is a sad, TENSE man. Ok, admittedly I like emaciated, heroin-chic looking guys, but I think Twiggy what’s-his-face from Marilyn Manson’s band is, well, intriguing. Creepy, I know. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/55 "2002-12-24T04:14:43Z")
Iggy Pop. Please kill me. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/56 "2002-12-24T04:18:15Z")
Lamia: If I can admit to Charles Durning (granted, with many caveats) then you can live with Iggy Pop. Trust me. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/57 "2002-12-24T04:29:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Misha77 \* > \*\*So I’m not the only one! I think Bam Margera is fine, but kind of scary. I think his father is a sad, TENSE man. > > \*\* With Bam as a son, can you blame him? 😃 “I’m Bam Magera and I’m going to kick my dad’s ass, ALL DAY TODAY!” ---
**Author:** ![fizgig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f04885/32.png) [@fizgig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fizgig)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/58 "2002-12-24T04:45:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by XJETGIRLX \* > \*\*I dunno what it is, but there’s something about both Christopher Walken and Jeff Goldblum that do it for me. I guess it’s the whole tall & creepy thing. \*\* Oh yeah, Jeff Goldblum Also, Conan O’Brian, Dr. Drew, Tim Robbins, Kevin Spacey, Kevin Kline and sometimes Adam Sandler, though not so much any more. I’d take any of them over the Josh Hartnetts and Vin Diesels of the world any day. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shrew)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/59 "2002-12-24T04:53:18Z")
How can Michelle Pfeiffer possibly be categorized as unattractive? She’s one of the most beautiful women alive. Hm. I have to jump on the Kid Rock bandwagon. He’s attractive in that redneck hillbilly way…I find myself hoping he’ll take me for a ride in his pickup to go mudbogging in the field behind the K-Mart. I also lust after Jeff Bridges, Tim Robbins, David Bowie, Ellen Degeneres, Janeane Garofalo, and Nicholas Cage, but I think they are all attractive, so I don’t think they belong here. Who **does** belong here? Oprah Winfrey, (but only in her film roles). Every time I watch _The Color Purple_ I just wanna jump ol’ Sophia’s bones. When she goes marching up to Mr’s house saying, “Naw, I ain’t in no trouble. Just big’s all.” Mmm mm mm. Who else belongs here? Bob Dylan. Talent = sex appeal. Same goes for Kevin Smith. Sissy Spacek. I love watching _Carrie_ just to watch her say, “They’re breasts, Mama.” And last but not least, John Goodman. I watch _Rosanne_ or _The Big Lebowski_ and just drool over him. ---
**Author:** ![Kimmom2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Kimmom2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmom2)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/60 "2002-12-24T04:55:32Z")
I don’t know why…but Jon Stewart runs around in my dreams, and he’s usually naked! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569.md?page=4)