# Reveal Your Unattractive Celebrity Crush **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 23, 2002, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569 "2002-12-23T18:49:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![I\_am\_Sparticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@I\_am\_Sparticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_am_Sparticus)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/61 "2002-12-24T05:01:43Z")
Michelle Pfeiffer is one of the ugliest women on the planet! What are you guys talking about? But I have a thing for her anyway. Hey, any of you women, Marty Feldman? Now that’s unattrative. Ahem, triple nipple is what we used to call the Delta, Delta, Deltas in my youth, because the Greek letter for Delta is an equalatteral triangle. ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/62 "2002-12-24T05:22:56Z")
Ruth Underwood. Not that famous, not that attractive (by conventional standards.) ---
**Author:** ![Diff\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@Diff\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diff_T)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/63 "2002-12-24T05:36:23Z")
Mary Lynn Rajskub! But I think she’s attractive too… just no model. ---
**Author:** ![Wordy\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d2c977/32.png) [@Wordy\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wordy_One)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/64 "2002-12-24T06:15:53Z")
Oh, god, I have a whole list. Jon Stewart, Conan O’Brien, and yes, Dr. Drew. Also, Chris Martin (lead singer of Coldplay) and Dan Wilson (lead singer of Semisonic). …off to look for my standards… ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/65 "2002-12-24T06:38:09Z")
Dr. Drew is a tool. ---
**Author:** ![NightRabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbce88/32.png) [@NightRabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NightRabbit)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/66 "2002-12-24T06:43:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MyFootsZZZ \* > \*\*Dr. Drew is a tool. \*\* Yeah, he could tool me anytime… I don’t know if Michael Douglas is considered unattractive, but my roommates give me flack about that all the time. Also, Anthony Hopkins in his Hannibal stage. Mmmmm. ---
**Author:** ![Raini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@Raini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raini)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/67 "2002-12-24T06:47:43Z")
Danny Bonaduce!!! OMG…ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Do people even know who he is??? ---
**Author:** ![Wordy\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d2c977/32.png) [@Wordy\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wordy_One)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/68 "2002-12-24T07:01:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MyFootsZZZ \* > \*\*Dr. Drew is a tool. \*\* You’re just jealous of all the action Dr. Drew must be getting. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/69 "2002-12-24T07:04:54Z")
Well, kind of. Seeing he gets action by ways of toolitry. ---
**Author:** ![Emperor\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/70 "2002-12-24T07:20:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Raini \* > \*\*Danny Bonaduce!!! OMG…ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh > > Do people even know who he is??? \*\* I do! He’s is definitely one of those I would not tell anybody about, for fear of life long ridicule. I have dreams of him and his co-host from his show frolicking in the buff. And do you know who that is? The guy who played AC Slater on **Saved By The Bell**. He was so/so on the show, but he’s cut his hair and OMG… drool. I also have to add to the list: Unkle Cracker Andy Richter I love Andy. He is just cute and huggable. Like a big teddy bear. I love the picture of him wearing the business suit full of puppies. Every time I see it my cute meter explodes. Well, now that I’ve embarrassed myself thouroulghy… thouroghl…thouogh… a lot, I must go and unpack in penance. Such is life. [sub]man it’s nice to be back to the boards. I’ve been away for six months and I sure did miss it. I recognize hardly anyone. [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![spiro51](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@spiro51](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spiro51)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/71 "2002-12-24T07:53:41Z")
Louie Anderson. Heh heh, no, not really, but I had to knock the thread back in line with the OP. We’re listing predominantly good-looking people here, folks! Unattractive is like… Cagney and Lacey. In a later season. Mine’s Margaret Cho. Her looks don’t turn me on, but she’s got a whole lot more than looks going for her. ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/72 "2002-12-24T08:20:07Z")
David Duchovny. _slobber_ Omg, Mulder, the TRUTH IS RIGHT HERE, BABY. I’d also do Sean Connery, right now, Viagra and all. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/73 "2002-12-24T09:01:32Z")
On a purely physical level, Howard Stern makes me hot. Love the big nose, the long fingers, the skinniness, the height, the hair… just does it for me. Of course, then he opens his mouth and it all goes to shit. And kd lang. In a new york minute. ---
**Author:** ![Janx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Janx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Janx)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/74 "2002-12-24T11:13:02Z")
Brook Shields. Even today. ::Hangs head in shame:: ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/75 "2002-12-24T12:12:38Z")
I met Betty White about 15 years ago. I have been having fantasies ever since. Martha Stewart in a garter and stockings. Excuse me while I wipe the drool from my mouth. ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/76 "2002-12-24T13:03:48Z")
He’s not conventionally handsome, but I’d be a happy happy girl for just an afternoon of friendly conversation with Vincent D’Onofrio. And I don’t think he’s bound to be on anybody’s sexiest list any time soon, but David Hyde Pierce can put on his little Celebrity Jeopardy eyeglasses and come read good books on my sofa with me for, well, ever. My crushes are all very innocent and appropriate for a married woman. Isn’t that a bummer? Oh who am I kidding? I’d be a cheap slut sex poodle for either one of them in a heartbeat. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/77 "2002-12-24T14:29:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Homebrew \* > \*\*We seem to have similar tastes. Can we share Mr. Care Bear? \*\* Ironically, it took awhile for me to find _him_ attractive, so you might be in the same boat . . . 😛 Oh, and you should know that he doesn’t want children. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/78 "2002-12-24T15:00:04Z")
Helen Mirren. ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/79 "2002-12-24T15:37:22Z")
I mentioned to someone that I thought Jodi Foster was one of the hottest things alive, and she was horrified that I could find someone so hideous desirable. I would’ve thought that she was considered conventionally attractive as well as _je-ne-sais-quoi_-attractive, but this woman apparently didn’t agree. Does Jodi count for this thread? And does anyone here find Phillip Seymour Hoffman attractive? Considering that he’s kind of dorky-looking and yet he’s got this “cool” thing going on. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569/80 "2002-12-24T16:42:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cuauhtemoc \* > I mentioned to someone that I thought Jodi Foster was one of the hottest things alive, and she was horrified that I could find someone so hideous desirable. I would’ve thought that she was considered conventionally attractive as well as _je-ne-sais-quoi_-attractive, but this woman apparently didn’t agree. Does Jodi count for this thread? My husband thinks she’s a hottie too. We discussed our celebrity crushes, and at one time she was his “I’d forgive you if you went to bed with him/her” crush. (Mine’s Chow Yun-Fat, yummm…) My “unattractive” crushes are (duplicating a lot of previous answers) Oliver Platt, Ryan Stiles, Kevin Spacey, Tim Robbins, and Harold Ramis in his _Ghostbusters_ days. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Audrey Levins_ > I’d also do Sean Connery, right now, Viagra and all. I can’t drool over him at all - in his Bond days, he looked like my dad. Explains my mom’s crush on Connery, though. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reveal-your-unattractive-celebrity-crush/144569.md?page=5)