# Revenge is Mine **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 2, 2000, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-is-mine/27882 "2000-08-02T18:34:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-is-mine/27882/21 "2000-08-09T10:05:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by DRY \* > > \*\* > > ::leafs through Hayduke books:: > > > > “Hmm…how to deal with scary female cyberstalkers who can’t take no for an answer…” > > > > 😃 \*\* > > Oh, don’t you WISH! \*\* Res ipsa loquitor. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Crusoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-is-mine/27882/22 "2000-08-09T10:12:37Z")
- Post the person’s email address in several popular newsgroups - Carefully stretched clingfilm over the toilet seat ---
**Author:** ![broys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5e9695/32.png) [@broys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/broys)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-is-mine/27882/23 "2000-08-09T10:56:55Z")
Here’s how I get even… Take a picture of your enemy…post it on one of those online personals ads under the transsexual or gay section for example (if they’re straight). Then put their email address down and write in the subject of the ad, “Send me your weirdest sex pictures, animal felching and other acts WELCOME.” Well…when your enemy goes to work and hits the GET EMAIL button…WHOAH…he’s got mail alright…or should I say…MALE? lol ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-is-mine/27882/24 "2000-08-10T02:12:31Z")
The best revenge? Introduce them to DRY. ::fleeing:: ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-is-mine/27882/25 "2000-08-10T08:07:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > \*\*The best revenge? Introduce them to DRY. > \*\* And (assuming you’re an attractive female) when he just hangs around, looking like a lovesick, lonely puppy (he’d never harm you because, while he’s a loser, he’s also a nice guy), you may not feel too threatened, as pitiful as he is. HOWEVER, when his pathetic, thinks-she’s-his-SO, shrew-of-a-wanna-be-girlfriend shows up (I can’t name names but she lives in Hawaii and her initials are “AK”), she’ll start nagging him incessantly, asking when he’s going to marry her and why he has to flirt with other women (not realizing that her behavior is driving him into the arms of other people), your victim will get ABSOLUTELY NO PEACE. 😃 And rest assured, wherever DRY goes, AudreyK will follow him, from thread to thread. It’s inevitable. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-is-mine/27882/26 "2000-08-10T08:55:31Z")
:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-is-mine/27882/27 "2000-08-10T21:39:41Z")
Use [Mr.Wakeup.com](http://www.mrwakeup.com) and request a 3:00 am call, 3:25, 3:45, 4:17, etc. for your victim’s phone number. In my experience, people will answer only 2 or 3 times before they unplug their phone, so space them well. ---
**Author:** ![Danielinthewolvesden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Danielinthewolvesden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danielinthewolvesden)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-is-mine/27882/28 "2000-08-12T05:12:54Z")
if you do this, it will be bad for your karma. “Revenge is mine, sayeth the Lord.” All this stuff is petty and childish, and you won’t fell better later, and remember- “what goes around, comes around”. So you have my advice as a VERY experienced person. You must make your own moral choice. ---
**Author:** ![Gomez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d78d45/32.png) [@Gomez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gomez)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-is-mine/27882/29 "2000-08-12T11:17:43Z")
O.K. If you want revenge then try this: Get some latex gloves. make sure you have an extra pair just in case something happens to the first pair. Dress in a thin jumpsuit that wouldn’t be too hard to conceal and to bury later on. Make sure your entire body is covered, you don’t want any hair or blood or whatever to get on the scene. You will also need about 4 rolls of duct tape. Also make sure you have a way to get into his house. You will also need a large duffel bag. make sure you wear another jumpsuit beneath the one you are wearing on the outside because you will be throwing the outside one away with the body. First, find out when whoever you want revenge on gets home from work. If it is at nighttime just go to their house and wait in a bush or on the side of the house for him and when you see him coming grab him and clamp round his mouth very tight. you don’t want him to scream at all. Drag him into him house and dispose with anyone posing a threat to you within the house. put him in a chair and use the duct tape to tape his entire body into a cocoon on the chair. Make sure it’s tight so he can’t move. You can now use this time as he won’t be talking or doing much of anything to talk to him about why your doing this, if it’s a noisy neighbour, explain that this is the price you pay for playing Led Zepp on maximum volume in the early hours of the morning. Talk about the concept of natural justice and why you are his rightful judge, jury, defence attoruney, prosecution attourney, court stenographer and executioner. You can now proceed to slit his throat. A gun isn’t a very good idea as it can be expensive and loud if you don’t have a silencer. Don’t worry about spilling his blood on the ground as it won’t matter. Un-tape him and throw the gloves, knife, and shoes, and jumpsuit into the bag with his body. Now simply drive him to a secluded area, dig a hole about 5 feet deep and throw the body in and fill it back up. There, that should do it. (ducks and runs) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-is-mine/27882.md?page=1)