# Revenge of the SonoftheWifeofthePlanetofthe Limericks **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 20, 2002, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-of-the-sonofthewifeoftheplanetofthe-limericks/109912 "2002-05-20T05:30:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-of-the-sonofthewifeoftheplanetofthe-limericks/109912/21 "2002-05-21T14:08:40Z")
A lesbian trucker named Pike Had a job that she just didn’t like. “I am, as my Jill knows, Delivering dildos - Which makes me a fake-dick van dyke.” ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-of-the-sonofthewifeoftheplanetofthe-limericks/109912/22 "2002-05-21T14:28:48Z")
correction: _There once was a fellow from Tripoli Who liked to make love rather nippily. Complained one young lass (While rubbing her ass): “Less **teethily** , please, and more **lippily**!”_ . . . . . I must say that I’m truly impressed. 'Mongst writers, y’all rank with the best Of lim’rickal skill (Be it poetry or swill)… The readers are cursed, but you’re blessed. * * * Love to All, TN\*hippie ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-of-the-sonofthewifeoftheplanetofthe-limericks/109912/23 "2002-05-21T14:37:03Z")
I sent this in email to **galen ubal** , but far be it from me to let him get the last word publicly: Forsooth, fellow user, you test me. My fingers still strain to divest me Of rhythm and rhyme Nearly all of the time With restraint, my good parents have blessed me. With this follow-up… **Chef Troy** , **TN\*hippie** and all It’s good that you’ve answered the call. Though **TN** done made it And **Cheffie** done slayed it The gold goes to **galen ubal** ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-of-the-sonofthewifeoftheplanetofthe-limericks/109912/24 "2002-05-21T14:40:39Z")
A side note to beloved **Chef Troy** Whose antics I always enjoy: That last contribution Of skilled elocution Had a pun that made me groan “Oy!” * * * Peace, TN\*hippie ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-of-the-sonofthewifeoftheplanetofthe-limericks/109912/25 "2002-05-21T19:14:43Z")
I have some more puns here for you - A dozen, in fact, minus two… I thought at least one might make people run But **no pun in ten did** , so whew! ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-of-the-sonofthewifeoftheplanetofthe-limericks/109912/26 "2002-05-21T21:47:53Z")
This thread is infested with crazies. The lim’ricks are sprouting like daisies. My poor tortured mind Has fallen behind And lagged in the back with the lazies. But still you can’t say that I’m shirking Or skirting the issue by lurking. I work from a truck So I’m just out of luck, 'Cause I can’t be online when I’m working. And thus, it turned out, **Hamadryad** And **galen** both went somewhat “rhyme mad.” They hijacked this thread With lim-er-icks dread And forced me to write this lame triad. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-of-the-sonofthewifeoftheplanetofthe-limericks/109912/27 "2002-05-21T21:50:45Z")
Spring’s lovely, with this no one can’t agree, When buds and shoots on every plant are free And birdlets are squawking, So let’s spoil it by walking On foot all the way out to Canterbury. -G. Chaucer, _Prologue_ ---
**Author:** ![jawdirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df705f/32.png) [@jawdirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jawdirk)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-of-the-sonofthewifeoftheplanetofthe-limericks/109912/28 "2002-05-22T00:40:15Z")
There once was a woman named Kate, Who had a date with the coroner at eight, But on the way to the lab, She was hit by a cab. The poor girl arrived doublely late. ---
**Author:** ![galen\_ubal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galen_ubal/32/4440_2.png) [@galen\_ubal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galen_ubal)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-of-the-sonofthewifeoftheplanetofthe-limericks/109912/29 "2002-05-22T05:53:41Z")
There once was a lady named Venus, Who had a strap - on - able penis. She played with her toys, On both girls and boys, (I hope no one’s seen us!) ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-of-the-sonofthewifeoftheplanetofthe-limericks/109912/30 "2002-05-22T10:17:10Z")
What’s wrong with our verse, **Hamadryad**? There’s no need to be quite so snyad! So what if our sport Falls a little bit short; At least we can say that we tryad! ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-of-the-sonofthewifeoftheplanetofthe-limericks/109912/31 "2002-05-22T14:49:22Z")
There once was a girl named **Canthearya** , Who’d run from you if she got nearya. She’d scream, “Go away!” But El Hubbo, he stayed. 'Cause smiling, she said, “I don’t fearya.” ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-of-the-sonofthewifeoftheplanetofthe-limericks/109912/32 "2002-05-22T19:40:06Z")
**Canthearya** , I know what you’re saying And it’s not a game that I’m playing. My honey, with pride Has stuck by my side And he claims that is where he is staying. It’s not that I’m swishy or girly It’s not that my hair’s really curly I think when I pass And I twitch my fine ass His brain simply goes ‘loopty-swirly!’ ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-of-the-sonofthewifeoftheplanetofthe-limericks/109912/33 "2002-05-22T20:23:21Z")
A **hippie** who now lives in the hills Smoked, drank, sniffed, shot up, popped pills. But he’s finally learning (Though his brain is still burning) That there’s no future in chemical thrills. * * * Love to All, TN\*“if it feels good, abuse it”\*hippie ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-of-the-sonofthewifeoftheplanetofthe-limericks/109912/34 "2002-05-22T20:53:45Z")
Hippy, How you been? There once was a tailor named Quade Who fashioned a doll out of suade But he could not resist The passive young miss He made sure that she was tailor-laid A viril young steed named DeGaul Would look for a meyer in each stall He said “if I don’t get stuck, And with any luck, I’ll be happy to service them all!” ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2002, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-of-the-sonofthewifeoftheplanetofthe-limericks/109912/35 "2002-05-23T04:14:51Z")
(an answer to **trade** ) The hipster is doing okay But his love life is still kinda gray. I had moments erotic With a bleedin’ psychotic… Would I do better if I just went and turned gay? * * * hard ‘n’ plenty, TN\*hippie ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2002, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-of-the-sonofthewifeoftheplanetofthe-limericks/109912/36 "2002-05-23T17:45:01Z")
This is an old one, but it _is_ original. I provide it for the amusement of newer Dopers. There once was a fun-loving fellow Who drank lots of booze to stay mellow. He got many a date But they rarely stayed late– His liver was hard, but his lover was Jell-O. * * * Love to All, TN\*hippie ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2002, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-of-the-sonofthewifeoftheplanetofthe-limericks/109912/37 "2002-05-23T17:47:12Z")
There once was a Hippy who claimed For his love life had turned rather lame 'Tis better my brother to be without another Than be with one who makes you insane So the Hippy decided one day That he may be better off gay Take a bloke, not a lass? On this I will ask: Just why is it better that way? ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2002, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-of-the-sonofthewifeoftheplanetofthe-limericks/109912/38 "2002-05-23T19:40:26Z")
Here’s one I came up with in high school… There was a young man named Armano Who decided straight sex was bird guano So he found a good friend And plugged up his end - Now they both prefer _mano a mano_. ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2002, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-of-the-sonofthewifeoftheplanetofthe-limericks/109912/39 "2002-05-23T20:08:24Z")
Good one, **Ham**. My answer to **trade** : Switching teams is not what I’ve planned, For I do find women quite grand– But I’ve known masturbation For such a duration, I’m used to the touch of male hand. * * * Love to All, TN\*hippie ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-of-the-sonofthewifeoftheplanetofthe-limericks/109912/40 "2002-05-24T09:35:09Z")
This morning I rose early from bed To rush off to work (get ahead). But I’m not at my job– This pitiful slob Is posting drivel on this thread. * * * Love to All, TN\*hippie [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-of-the-sonofthewifeoftheplanetofthe-limericks/109912.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-of-the-sonofthewifeoftheplanetofthe-limericks/109912.md?page=3)