# "Revenge" spam. What. The fuck??!? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 11, 2003, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-spam-what-the-fuck/174482 "2003-05-11T12:15:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-spam-what-the-fuck/174482/1 "2003-05-11T12:15:23Z")
I just got this spam in my beleagured inbox: > [@](#): > > Hello, > > Have you really, really, really been hurt to the point where your live is a living hell? > > ~ Has somebody or something drastically altered your life? ~ > ~ Would you give anything to take back your stolen life? ~ > ~ What if there was a way to undo all done to you for $100,000? ~ > > What I am referring to is something which is well covered up from the general public! > I have access to the way, and need just one single person to work with. > > Who I pick will be determined on the severity of their situation. > This is your one and only chance to live life over, and take control over what was stolen from you. Mentally stable open minded individuals a must! Someone close to the Boston area is preferred. > > If you want your life back and would like for me to consider you, email a brief description of your situation to me at > [powercrystals@firemail.de](mailto:powercrystals@firemail.de) > Please do not reply directly back to this email as it will only be bounced back to you What. The fuck??!? Is this guy/lady offering to commit physical harm on a respondent’s perp of their choosing? Or, as the email suggests, are they going harness the awesome power of crystals to put a hex on them? I’ve received a few clearly paranoid delusional spams before (remember the “help, I need a time traveller!” one?), but this is the spookiest so far. Psychotic or a mentalist? Or both? Or neither - is it market research? You decide. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-spam-what-the-fuck/174482/2 "2003-05-11T12:21:45Z")
I’m guessing crystal bullshit. I actually opened this thread thinking it was going to be about getting an enemy’s email on spam lists as revenge. There was a guy I worked with whom I considered doing such a thing too. It would have been soooo easy… And I would have made sure he was on the vilest lists too, like ads for animals having sex with dead people, then vomiting on them. Or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-spam-what-the-fuck/174482/3 "2003-05-11T12:30:34Z")
I like that they’re only looking for “Mentally stable” individuals. Wouldn’t want any nutters to respond, now would we? > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Revtim \* > **I actually opened this thread thinking it was going to be about getting an enemy’s email on spam lists as revenge.** [aside] A friend of mine put my email address a gay singles site in 1996, before spam was a critical problem. To this day I get unsolicited personal emails containing pictures of chaps wanking themselves off. I’m straight myself, but I do think if I weren’t, I’d respond a lot better to a picture of chocolates or flowers or something, rather than the money shot of someone I’ve never met before. [/aside] ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-spam-what-the-fuck/174482/4 "2003-05-11T12:35:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jjimm \* > \*\*I like that they’re only looking for “Mentally stable” individuals. Wouldn’t want any nutters to respond, now would we? [aside] A friend of mine put my email address a gay singles site in 1996, before spam was a critical problem. To this day I get unsolicited personal emails containing pictures of chaps wanking themselves off. I’m straight myself, but I do think if I weren’t, I’d respond a lot better to a picture of chocolates or flowers or something, rather than the money shot of someone I’ve never met before. [/aside] \*\* _hands jjimm godiva chocolates and a bouquet of roses_ So… when can I schedule you for the money shot? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-spam-what-the-fuck/174482/5 "2003-05-11T12:42:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mockingbird \* > \*\*_hands jjimm godiva chocolates and a bouquet of roses_ > > So… when can I schedule you for the money shot? > > 😃 \*\* What - not even a picture of a candlelit dinner? ☹ Further to this hijack of my own thread, there’s some Spanish-speaking merchant seaman called Luis, who appears to have a girl in each port, to whom, for the past five years, he has been handing out _my_ hotmail address. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-spam-what-the-fuck/174482/6 "2003-05-11T12:48:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jjimm \* > \*\*What - not even a picture of a candlelit dinner? ☹ > > Further to this hijack of my own thread, there’s some Spanish-speaking merchant seaman called Luis, who appears to have a girl in each port, to whom, for the past five years, he has been handing out _my_ hotmail address. \*\* Okay. Candlelit dinner with my famous lasagna, a good Merlot, an after dinner scotch… and then we’ll negotiate.’’ 😃 :eek: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-spam-what-the-fuck/174482/7 "2003-05-11T12:52:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mockingbird \* > \*\*Okay. Candlelit dinner with my famous lasagna, a good Merlot, an after dinner scotch… and then we’ll negotiate.’’ > > 😃 :eek: 😃 \*\* Well, OK, I guess you’ve earned yourself the right to send me a picture of yourself wanking. Actually, please don’t. Really. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-spam-what-the-fuck/174482/8 "2003-05-11T12:55:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jjimm \* > \*\*Well, OK, I guess you’ve earned yourself the right to send me a picture of yourself wanking. > > Actually, please don’t. Really. \*\* ROFL! Trust me, I wouldn’t and won’t. I was hoping that in lieu of an appearance in person, I’d get the picture of _you_. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-spam-what-the-fuck/174482/9 "2003-05-11T13:01:18Z")
Querido Luis, Por favor me manda medicinas, tengo una infección. Necesito la penicilina muy fuerte. Todo mi amor, Maria. PS: Le pienso debo ver a un doctor también. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-spam-what-the-fuck/174482/10 "2003-05-11T13:10:34Z")
**Kal** , LOL - and I don’t use that abbreviation lightly. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Green\_Feather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e7dd6/32.png) [@The\_Green\_Feather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Green_Feather)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-spam-what-the-fuck/174482/11 "2003-05-11T13:51:43Z")
It seems clear the e-mail is from… [SNL Church lady’s voice] SATAN!! [/SNL Church lady’s voice] You don’t even have to pay the $100,000. Just sign this little contract, in your own blood of course. Don’t worry about the fine print. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![sc913](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@sc913](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sc913)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-spam-what-the-fuck/174482/12 "2003-05-11T13:55:49Z")
Hey, I got two of these today too. The “mentally stable” part made me chuckle. ---
**Author:** ![Gopher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gopher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gopher)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-spam-what-the-fuck/174482/13 "2003-05-12T01:05:51Z")
_eagerly checks email for Revenge spam_ Bah! Nothin ☹ ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-spam-what-the-fuck/174482/14 "2003-05-12T09:26:21Z")
Jjimm, perhaps someone misspelt Jizm on their business card. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-spam-what-the-fuck/174482/15 "2003-05-12T11:35:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \* > \*\*Jjimm, perhaps someone misspelt Jizm on their business card. \*\* Nah, it was just yoghurt. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-spam-what-the-fuck/174482/16 "2003-05-12T11:44:17Z")
I’ll hope you didn’t check what flavour? ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-spam-what-the-fuck/174482/17 "2003-05-12T11:50:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Revtim \* > **I’m guessing crystal bullshit.** voice-over: Today, we’re replacing **Revtim’s** ordinary spam with new Crystal Bullshit. Let’s see if he notices the difference… ---
**Author:** ![manwithaplan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f1d935/32.png) [@manwithaplan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manwithaplan)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-spam-what-the-fuck/174482/18 "2003-05-12T11:53:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \* > \*\*Jjimm, perhaps someone misspelt Jizm on their business card. \*\* My new business card: Manwithaplan - purveyor of the very finest mis-spilt jism. The best splash for your cash - guaranteed. Dial 1890 MAPOFCAVAN, or, if dialling from outside the Republic of Ireland, 555 SALTYJELLY Remember our motto - “A refund is a must, if you find a crust” ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-spam-what-the-fuck/174482/19 "2003-05-12T12:28:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by manwithaplan \* > \*\*“A refund is a must, if you find a crust” \*\* That’s a very spunky mission statement. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-spam-what-the-fuck/174482/20 "2003-05-12T12:56:30Z")
Shoot, all I got today was spam asking me “Are you sick of Spam” :dubious: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revenge-spam-what-the-fuck/174482.md?page=2)