# Rewrite a famous line using modern language **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [November 29, 2008, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959 "2008-11-29T19:20:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/1 "2008-11-29T19:20:59Z")
Rick Blaine: Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful bromance. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/2 "2008-11-29T19:27:18Z")
Darth Vader: I’m your daddy! Luke: What? No!!! Darth Vader: And Padme Amidala was my baby mama! Luke: Who? No!!! ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/3 "2008-11-29T20:07:33Z")
It was Christmas Eve and the apartment was quiet. Mommy was mad (always is one her diet) The kids weren’t asleep but they were in bed. The new game for Xbox still danced in their heads. Along with the dream of new helmet and bike. Praying that Daddy would buy what they like. Bedroom door was closed shut, but they heard Mommy fussin’. “Directions in Chinese”, now Daddy was cussin’. “These pieces won’t fit” they heard Daddy say. “How do I place object D into A?” Mommy admonished him, “honey cool down” flicked the station to _Santa is Coming To Town_. From down hall they heard quite a clatter. Mommy looked through the peephole to see what was the matter. I’m tired of trying to do this parody - I don’t remember the original. I’ll come back later. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/4 "2008-11-29T20:29:09Z")
Rhett: Fuck you, Skank, I don’t give a shit. Scarlett: Whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/5 "2008-11-29T20:40:03Z")
Hamlet, Act III scene I: HAMLET: This blows. (_Exeunt_) ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/6 "2008-11-29T20:42:40Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Rhett: Fuck you, Skank, I don’t give a shit. > Scarlett: Whatever. Scarlett: Tomorrow, when the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars, is another day when my karma is better and the goddess will be more aligned with my biorhythms. Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you tomorrow. You’re always a day away. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/7 "2008-11-29T20:57:13Z")
Oh for fucks sake Brutus, I thought we were mates, you bastard ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/8 "2008-11-29T21:08:05Z")
I finally cracked the window then, and with a ruckus he came in Gynormous bird they used to think was very cool back in the day He didn’t smile or shake my hand, he didn’t even stay on land Just looked at me like, he’s the man, and flew above the door to stay Flew up to a hunk of statue just above my door, to stay And the birdie said, “No way.” ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Parker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/35a633/32.png) [@Richard\_Parker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Parker)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/9 "2008-11-29T21:51:03Z")
Black Friday We few, we happy few, we gang of consumers; For he today that swipes his card with me Shall be a consumer; no longer lacking fancy gadgets, This day will totally up his cred; And dudes at home still in bed Will think themselves crazy for not driving to Best Buy, And wish for deals so cheap while any speaks That bought with us upon this Black Friday. Sorry Will. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/10 "2008-11-29T21:54:56Z")
I met this dude who’d just got back from Egypt, and he said he saw the remains of a big honkin’ statue out there - just the legs and the head, with a nasty-looking face too. Oh, and some writing: “Take a look at this and cry like a girl”, something like. But there’s nothing left but rubble and sand all the way to the horizon, so who’s crying now, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/11 "2008-11-29T22:10:06Z")
Dude, Darcy, say something. I was, like, talking ‘bout the club, so now you talk about the size of the joint, or ‘bout the crowd, jus’ sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![Nunavut\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e95f7d/32.png) [@Nunavut\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nunavut_Boy)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/12 "2008-11-29T22:36:36Z")
Times were OK, but also kinda sucked. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2008, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/13 "2008-11-30T01:44:23Z")
I love the smell of counter insurgency techniques in the morning. It smells like victory. Tennis balls? What the fuck is this, do I look like Federer to you! Tell the Dauphin he best recognize fo’ i bust my foot off in his ass! I’ll go **Dark Age** on that mutha fucka, all the bitches in France best break out their mourning gear and start pouring colt forty-five’s on the ground but now. I’ll bring such a ruckus down on yo punk-ass kingdom niggas ain’t even born will regret this shit. No get the fuck out my grill 'fore I mess you up too! -Henry 5 in the Hood ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2008, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/14 "2008-11-30T05:04:42Z")
Discredited versions of this play show the lines: _Give me my robe, put on my crown; I have Immortal longings in me._ Experts now believe Shakespeare meant to write: _Where’s my hat and coat? I’m going to top myself with a snake._ ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2008, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/15 "2008-11-30T06:00:54Z")
Rick to Sam: “Pump out some phat beats” Caesar to assorted bad chaps “You gonna cap my ass? Get it over dawgs!” ---
**Author:** ![critter42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ba0ec/32.png) [@critter42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/critter42)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2008, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/16 "2008-11-30T12:27:40Z")
OMG!! I can haz liberty or I can haz deth! LULZ ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2008, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/17 "2008-11-30T13:03:38Z")
My vision is of a f_ck_ng freezing holiday. I’m dreaming of a White Xmas ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2008, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/18 "2008-11-30T16:10:52Z")
Scrooge: Oh, bullshit! ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2008, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/19 "2008-11-30T16:32:33Z")
Looking at digital watch, “Where the hell are you Romeo?” ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2008, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/20 "2008-11-30T18:44:41Z")
> [@jali](#): > > Looking at digital watch, “Where the hell are you Romeo?” I thought it was, “Why the hell are you Romeo?” Anyway. Hamlet’s Mother: Hammy, you seem still upset about your daddy’s death? Hamlet: Well more than fucking “_seems_!”, Aunt-Mommy. More like _is_, bitch! Hamlet’s Mother: Oh, no you din’t! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959.md?page=2)