# Rewrite a famous line using modern language **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [November 29, 2008, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959 "2008-11-29T19:20:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/41 "2008-12-03T18:44:59Z")
Old version of quote: “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife” New, improved version of quote: Ever’boddy but ever’boddy knows that a homie that’s got it made will be wantin’ a fine lady…" ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/42 "2008-12-03T19:30:38Z")
Let us pray, in the name of the parent or legal guardian, the pre-adult, and the corporeally-challenged. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/43 "2008-12-03T19:42:32Z")
Decorate the house with bundles of leaves! It’s the time of year to be happy! Now we put on our fun clothes! Sing the old Christmas song! ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/44 "2008-12-03T20:34:21Z")
One April, it was raining. It didn’t rain much in March. Well, so like it rained so much that all the pretty flowers started to bloom. Also, the breeze felt pretty good. The birds were chirping. People were gettin’ kinda restless. The weather was so nice that lots of people wanted to go on vacation. This is their story. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/45 "2008-12-03T21:38:53Z")
We were all bummed out, like it was freakin’ winter. But now that my bro is king, it’s like freakin’ July around here. Ain’t that teh awesome? -Richard III ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/46 "2008-12-03T21:42:53Z")
2b or [del]2b[/del] ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Haddock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce73a5/32.png) [@Captain\_Haddock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Haddock)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/47 "2008-12-03T22:06:59Z")
Soylant green is free from artificial colours, flavours and preservatives. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/48 "2008-12-03T22:23:27Z")
“All your base are belong to us” -General Ulysses S. Grant April 9, 1865 ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/49 "2008-12-04T00:07:29Z")
HAL: Hello, Dave, would you like to play some Halo? JULIET: Romeo? Romeo? Where thew hell are you Romeo? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/50 "2008-12-04T00:18:59Z")
Okay, that’s the second time for this. “Wherefore” does not mean “where”, it means “why”. “Why are you Romeo (a Montague)?” In modern parlance, it should be “Why the hell do you have to be a member of that family?” ---
**Author:** ![Skylark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Skylark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skylark)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/51 "2008-12-04T01:15:05Z")
[The Declaration of Independence in American](http://www.io.com/gibbonsb/mencken/declaration.html) by H.L. Mencken. > [@](#): > > WHEN things get so balled up that the people of a country got to cut loose from some other country, and go it on their own hook, without asking no permission from nobody, excepting maybe God Almighty, then they ought to let everybody know why they done it, so that everybody can see they are not trying to put nothing over on nobody. > > All we got to say on this proposition is this: first, me and you is as good as anybody else, and maybe a damn sight better; second, nobody ain’t got no right to take away none of our rights; third, every man has got a right to live, to come and go as he pleases, and to have a good time whichever way he likes, so long as he don’t interfere with nobody else. That any government that don’t give a man them rights ain’t worth a damn; also, people ought to choose the kind of government they want themselves, and nobody else ought to have no say in the matter. That whenever any government don’t do this, then the people have got a right to give it the bum’s rush and put in one that will take care of their interests. Of course, that don’t mean having a revolution every day like them South American yellowbellies, or every time some jobholder goes to work and does something he ain’t got no business to do. It is better to stand a little graft, etc., than to have revolutions all the time, like them coons, and any man that wasn’t a anarchist or one of them I.W.W.'s would say the same. But when things get so bad that a man ain’t hardly got no rights at all no more, but you might almost call him a slave, then everybody ought to get together and throw the grafters out, and put in new ones who won’t carry on so high and steal so much, and then watch them. This is the proposition the people of these Colonies is up against, and they have got tired of it, and won’t stand it no more. The administration of the present King, George III, has been rotten from the start, and when anybody kicked about it he always tried to get away with it by strong-arm work… ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/52 "2008-12-04T01:17:54Z")
> [@The New and Improved Superman](#): > > Old version of quote: “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife” > > New, improved version of quote: Ever’boddy but ever’boddy knows that a homie that’s got it made will be wantin’ a fine lady…" I’ve always taken the “want” to mean “in lack of” (an largely archaic at this point meaning of want) not “in desire of”. In other words: The homie’s got it made 'cause he don’t have a fine lady to spend the Benjamins on. ---
**Author:** ![PopeJewish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@PopeJewish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PopeJewish)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/53 "2008-12-04T01:27:23Z")
“once more into the fray!” - “here we go again” “cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war” - “bitch, shit be on now!” “four score and twenty years ago” - " hella days ago" “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness…But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.” - “fuck off, we’re doin shit our own way” ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/54 "2008-12-04T06:33:11Z")
> [@Hoopy\_Frood](#): > > I’ve always taken the “want” to mean “in lack of” (an largely archaic at this point meaning of want) not “in desire of”. > > In other words: The homie’s got it made 'cause he don’t have a fine lady to spend the Benjamins on. IIRC, this is in reference to Mrs. Bennet’s attitude, and she certainly is not of that opinion. If a man has a station in life, he must be looking for a wife. She needs to believe this, if for no other reason than to tell herself her daughters can marry up and take care of her later. ---
**Author:** ![straight\_man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/straight_man/32/3027_2.png) [@straight\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/straight_man)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/55 "2008-12-04T09:53:43Z")
> [@Cardinal](#): > > IIRC, this is in reference to Mrs. Bennet’s attitude, and she certainly is not of that opinion. If a man has a station in life, he must be looking for a wife. She needs to believe this, if for no other reason than to tell herself her daughters can marry up and take care of her later. I always thought it was an intentional pun. _That_ would be hard to translate. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/56 "2008-12-04T10:12:08Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Okay, that’s the second time for this. “Wherefore” does not mean “where”, it means “why”. “Why are you Romeo (a Montague)?” > > In modern parlance, it should be “Why the hell do you have to be a member of that family?” And this is a fine example of how Modern English is not _precisely_ the same language as Early Modern English, even for people close geographically to where Shakespeare lived. Linguistic change doesn’t occur suddenly or with fanfare, but gradually, word by word and idiom by idiom, until it becomes impossible for publishers to merely footnote unfamiliar usages and must commission a real translation to preserve the meaning of the original text. The sense of Beowulf is dark to us indeed. Chaucer’s work is in a dim twilight, and Shakespeare’s is well past the meridian. Eventually Twain will need, first, copious footnotes, then an outright gloss once the need for a translation becomes clear. This thread makes light of a fascinating topic indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/57 "2008-12-04T14:29:50Z")
Dorothy: Toto, we’re up Shit Creek here. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/58 "2008-12-04T15:42:06Z")
Dave: HAL! Let me in! HAL: Get Bent, Dave. * * * I AM SPARTACUS! No, I AM SPARTACUS! _guy is wrestled to the ground and arrested for identity theft._ ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/59 "2008-12-04T16:03:05Z")
> [@PopeJewish](#): > > “four score and twenty years ago…” …I used to weigh nine stone and fourteen pounds. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959/60 "2008-12-04T18:07:23Z")
> [@Hoopy\_Frood](#): > > I’ve always taken the “want” to mean “in lack of” (an largely archaic at this point meaning of want) not “in desire of”. > > In other words: The homie’s got it made 'cause he don’t have a fine lady to spend the Benjamins on. Given that the major thrust of the plot of the original novel is Elizabeth’s (and her sister’s) search for a good husband, and Mr. Darcy’s (and the other suitor’s) search for a proper wife, I would be inclined to disagree. It’s not that Darcy doesn’t want a wife, he just thinks that no woman he’s met is worthy of being his wife. Anyway… Old: “It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound & fury, signifying nothing.” New: “A Uwe Boll film.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-famous-line-using-modern-language/474959.md?page=4)