# Rewrite a well-known movie by first subtly altering the title... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 1, 2003, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906 "2003-11-01T23:15:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/41 "2003-11-02T16:14:32Z")
**To Live and Dye in L.A.** Two hairdressers try to track down an evil hairdresser who did a bad dye job and blamed them and ruined their reputations. One is killed by the hairdresser and the other vows revenge at any any cost. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/42 "2003-11-02T16:23:26Z")
**Lovely Are The Brave** Kirk Douglas as a transgender cowperson in the modern west trying to adapt to a changing lifestyle of mobile massage parlors and hair salons. Walter Matthau in a breakout role as his/her pimp. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/43 "2003-11-02T16:39:02Z")
**Closet Encounters of the Third Kind** … Richard Dreyfuss leaves his family behind when he is abducted by interior decorators. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/44 "2003-11-02T16:47:22Z")
**Supperman - The Movie** Starring Emeril LaGasse as an alien chef from a dying world on a mission to feed the people of Earth. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/45 "2003-11-02T17:03:30Z")
**The Gods Must Be Lazy** A story about a hapless explorer and his teacher girlfriend, a bushman and his Coke bottle, revolutionary buffoons, and Nobody upstairs giving a damn about any of them, or any of us, for that matter. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/46 "2003-11-02T17:06:51Z")
**Jailhouse Rack** Dolly Parton does the Elvis role. Has trouble with the slide down the pole part. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/47 "2003-11-02T17:20:23Z")
**Deliveries** Burt Reynolds, Jon Voight and friends decide to get the jump on competition by arranging canoe delivery of Southern cooking delicacies to rural customers before the flooding of bottomland to make a lake in Georgia farm country. Ronnie Cox provides musical entertainment by forming the first Southern Rock band with one heredity challenged banjo player. Ned Beatty runs into problems securing barbecue pork supplies. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/48 "2003-11-02T17:22:49Z")
**Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Hack** Blaming the destruction of the Death Star, not on the Rebel Alliance, but poor computer security, Darth Vader kills Bill Gates and installs Linux on all of the Empire’s computer systems. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/49 "2003-11-02T17:27:18Z")
**Star Wars VI: Return of the Jed** Mountain man Jed Clampett uses his millions to finance a new Emperor into the see-ment power generator. Granny makes Ewok stew. ---
**Author:** ![KeithT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@KeithT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KeithT)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/50 "2003-11-02T17:29:14Z")
**Bill Kill** Quentin Tarantino pays off his debts. **Oh Bother, Where Art Thou** Winnie the Pooh’s Homeric quest to be reunited with his wife and children in the 1930’s South. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/51 "2003-11-02T17:33:11Z")
**Rebel Without A Case** James Dean as a teenage Perry Mason trying to break into the law game. Natalie Wood as a young Della Street helps find a few potential clients at a car rally. Sal Mineo learns the tricks as wannabe detective Paul Drake by shooting puppies and finding the locations of secret mansions in the Hollywood hills. Meanwhile, William Hopper who later plays the older Paul Drake once Raymond Burr develops a reasonable case load, plays Della Street’s father in a marvelous blend of incest and swapped identity. Jim Backus does a credible job as Mr. Magoo while imitating Perry’s (Dean’s) father. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/52 "2003-11-02T17:39:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mr. Blue Sky \* > \*\ ***Star Wars VI: Return of the Jed** > > Mountain man Jed Clampett uses his millions to finance a new Emperor into the see-ment power generator. Granny makes Ewok stew. \*\* :smack: What the hell happened to that post? Try this instead: Mountain man Jed Clampett uses his millions to finance a new Rebel Alliance to defeat the evil Darth Drysdale. Jethro throws the Emperor into the see-ment power generator. Granny makes Ewok stew. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/53 "2003-11-02T17:49:19Z")
**The Wind Bunch** William Holden, Ernest Borgnine and assorted hardcore character types, after a heavy dining on spicy local foodstuffs, lead Robert Ryan and his followers on a merry chase through the burrito fields of Old Mexico, leaving fragrant clues as to their whereabouts. (Based on the campfire scene in **Blaring Saddles** ). ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_B.Phart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc29f/32.png) [@Capt\_B.Phart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_B.Phart)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/54 "2003-11-02T18:13:22Z")
**The Mattress** Keanu has a nice lie-in ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/55 "2003-11-02T18:13:44Z")
**Oklahomo!** Rod Steiger steals the show, as a sinister Leather Queen who stalks Twinkie cowboy Gordon Macrae. Shirley Jones gives a memorable performance as the “beard.” Includes the must-see climactic slave auction, in which we discover why Macrae’s character is named “Curly.” ---
**Author:** ![Tarrsk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/97f17d/32.png) [@Tarrsk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tarrsk)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/56 "2003-11-02T18:14:44Z")
**Traumalie** : A young French girl changes the lives of the people around her by scarring them emotionally. **Casa-blanka** : The story of a big green man and his _electrifying_ love affair with Ingrid Bergman. Special appearance by Dhalsim as an extremely limber Victor Laszlo. **Crouching Lager, Hidden Flagon** : A bunch of famous martial artists get really drunk. While flying. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/57 "2003-11-02T18:28:28Z")
**The Wordman Of Alcatraz** Burt Lancaster as the father of the game show. After getting parts of a dictionary smuggled into his cell at The Rock, with the help of Telly Savalas (in his pre-lollipop days), Burt manages to create the concept for Jeopardy! Alex Trebek has a minor role as a prison bitch, but is rarely seen on camera. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/58 "2003-11-02T18:29:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by panache45 \* > \*\ ***Mush, Mush, Sweet Charlotte** > > A southern husky bitch races in the Iditerod, tormented by one of her long-lost litter mates, as the locals try to confiscate her sled. \*\* Boy, did I read this wrong! I read it as “A husky, Southern bitch” :smack: ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/59 "2003-11-02T18:36:03Z")
**High Cousin Vinny** A faux lawyer smokes some really good dope. Hears rumors of miraculously quick-cooking grits. Siezed by outrageous munchies, offers to drop the whole thing in exchange for a big bowl of said grits, as long as plenty of butter and syrup are included. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/60 "2003-11-02T19:25:34Z")
**A Lien** The crew of a space freighter discover that the corporation they work for is bankrupt, and struggle to survive when a murderous repo man boards the ship. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906.md?page=4)