# Rewrite a well-known movie by first subtly altering the title...

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [November 1, 2003, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906 "2003-11-01T23:15:17Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 12\
**Page:** 7

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**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\
**Post date:** [November 6, 2003, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/121 "2003-11-06T15:55:50Z")

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**Light Club**

Disenchanted collectors of the schlockmeister painter/marketer Thomas “Master of Light” Kinkaid wage an underground anarchist war against the franchisers and, finally, Kinkaid himself.

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**Author:** ![flonks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3ab097/32.png) [@flonks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flonks)\
**Post date:** [November 6, 2003, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/122 "2003-11-06T16:19:48Z")

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**Whom the Toll bells**  
Ingrid Berman introduces road pricing in Spain’s mountain passes

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**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\
**Post date:** [November 6, 2003, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/123 "2003-11-06T16:51:17Z")

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**Jeremiah’s Johnson**  
A man goes into the mountains to touch himself.

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**Author:** ![Jpeg\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/4bbf92/32.png) [@Jpeg\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jpeg_Jones)\
**Post date:** [November 6, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/124 "2003-11-06T19:41:47Z")

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**Old Gellar**  
Buffy gets put down, the humane way.

**The Magnificent Steven**  
Steve Gutenberg dispenses vigilante justice, with hilarious results.

**Groundho G’day**  
An aerophobic Australian prostitute with an attitude problem learns a valuable life lesson by reliving the same day.

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**Author:** ![Jpeg\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/4bbf92/32.png) [@Jpeg\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jpeg_Jones)\
**Post date:** [November 6, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/125 "2003-11-06T19:57:17Z")

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**Moltergeist**  
An angry parakeet returns from the dead to terrorize his former family.

**The Honey Pit**  
Shelley Long and Winnie the Pooh go in on a fixer-upper, with hilarious results.

**Doogie Nights**  
Neil Patrick Harris stars as the precocious teen doctor with a difference.

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**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\
**Post date:** [November 6, 2003, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/126 "2003-11-06T20:55:04Z")

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**Rastamon**  
During a rainstorm in 12th century Jamaica, a priest, a wigmaker and a bandit discuss the death of Haile Selassie and smoke ganja. At least that’s how I remember it.

**The Manchu Wasn’t There**  
Fu Manchu hypnotises a barber into funding his drycleaning venture.

**The Texas Chainsaw Massachusetts**  
George W., fed up with criticism from uppity Bostonians, cuts Massachusetts out of the Union. One word sums up this film: strategery!

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Jpeg\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/4bbf92/32.png) [@Jpeg\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jpeg_Jones)\
**Post date:** [November 6, 2003, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/127 "2003-11-06T22:03:30Z")

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**The Sound of Muzak**  
Easy listening, live from Austria.

**Back to the Suture**  
A surgeon travels back in time to tie up some loose ends.

**The Hose Whisperer**  
Robert Redford heals a young girl and her gardening implements.

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**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\
**Post date:** [November 6, 2003, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/128 "2003-11-06T22:23:23Z")

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**X Men Behaving Badly**

Wacky times as three mutants try to live together.

**Star Trek: Deep Throat Nine**

See what Odo can morph into!

**Cool Blade Runners**

It’s Miami. 2019. Six, no , five, THERE ARE FIVE, Rastafarian replicants trying to enter the Olympics illegally.

**Evil Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid**

A group of friends staying in a mountain cabin discover a detective novel…FROM HELL!!!

**Ferris Bueller’s Independence Day Off**

Fun loving teen and his friends take the day off from destroying a planet and eating it’s inhabitants. Hilarity ensues.

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**Author:** ![Elmer\_Snerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/91b2a8/32.png) [@Elmer\_Snerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_Snerd)\
**Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/129 "2003-11-07T00:17:57Z")

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**Minor Report**  
In the future, psychics will be able to foresee that the presentation you worked on for a month won’t make any difference. Managers will be sent to cancel your meeting in advance.

**Panic Rum**  
Jodie Foster’s character keeps a closet full of booze for emergencies.

**Cruel Runnings**  
The Jamaican S&M team struggles to be worthy to compete in the Winter "O"lympics.

**Dye Hard**  
Disgruntled textile workers take over an office building.

**For Whom The Bell Trolls**  
Revolutionaries fight to keep blogs and message boards from being overwhelmed by flames and spam.

**The Trix**  
The Silly Rabbit discovers that he is an animated character in a simulation, and that he can break the rules of the system. He uses his superhuman abilities and martial arts skills to finally vanquish the kids who denied him cereal for all those years, only to find out that There Is No Spoon.

**Sines**  
A preacher/mathematician discovers an alien plot in his son’s trigonometry textbook.

**Hawkers**  
After their dotcom business fails, computer experts get jobs at a souvenir stand.

**The Punicsher**  
A retired Roman Legionnaire becomes a vigilante after his wife and children are murdered.

**The Story of O. Henry**  
A dramatic interpretation of the famous short story writer’s experiments with B&D.

**First Bud**  
Vietnam veteran Rambo is arrested by a small-town sheriff, escaping into the woods after attacking several policemen. He escapes by setting fire to a marijuana field, causing his pursuers to lose interest in chasing him.

**Ramen In Black**  
Flashy packaging causes you to forget that they are actually Dehydrated Argillian Slime Worms and to believe that they are ordinary ramen noodles.

**The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzi**  
A lovable purple gorilla struggles against attempts to destroy him.

**Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragunov**  
A Soviet sniper kills martial artists from a distance.

**Lord of the PINGs**  
A programmer finds the long-lost Token Ring of SySauron.

**Resident Evel**  
Retired stuntman Evel Knievel’s fun-loving antics at a nursing home.

**Spied Her, Man**  
Our hero develops the ability to climb walls after being bitten by a radioactive cockroach. He then uses this power for voyeurism.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Elmer\_Snerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/91b2a8/32.png) [@Elmer\_Snerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_Snerd)\
**Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/130 "2003-11-07T00:23:31Z")

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**Minor Report**  
In the future, psychics will be able to foresee that the presentation you worked on for a month won’t make any difference. Managers will be sent to cancel your meeting in advance.

**Panic Rum**  
Jodie Foster’s character keeps a closet full of booze for emergencies.

**Cruel Runnings**  
The Jamaican S&M team struggles to be worthy to compete in the Winter "O"lympics.

**Dye Hard**  
Disgruntled textile workers take over an office building.

**For Whom The Bell Trolls**  
Revolutionaries fight to keep blogs and message boards from being overwhelmed by flames and spam.

**The Trix**  
The Silly Rabbit discovers that he is an animated character in a simulation, and that he can break the rules of the system. He uses his superhuman abilities and martial arts skills to finally vanquish the kids who denied him cereal for all those years, only to find out that There Is No Spoon.

**Sines**  
A preacher/mathematician discovers an alien plot in his son’s trigonometry textbook.

**Hawkers**  
After their dotcom business fails, computer experts get jobs at a souvenir stand.

**The Punicsher**  
A retired Roman Legionnaire becomes a vigilante after his wife and children are murdered.

**The Story of O. Henry**  
A dramatic interpretation of the famous short story writer’s experiments with B&D.

**First Bud**  
Vietnam veteran Rambo is arrested by a small-town sheriff, escaping into the woods after attacking several policemen. He escapes by setting fire to a marijuana field, causing his pursuers to lose interest in chasing him.

**Ramen In Black**  
Flashy packaging causes you to forget that they are actually Dehydrated Argillian Slime Worms and to believe that they are ordinary ramen noodles.

**The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzi**  
A lovable purple gorilla struggles against attempts to destroy him.

**Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragunov**  
A Soviet sniper kills martial artists from a distance.

**Lord of the PINGs**  
A programmer finds the long-lost Token Ring of SySauron.

**Resident Evel**  
Retired stuntman Evel Knievel’s fun-loving antics at a nursing home.

**Spied Her, Man**  
Our hero develops the ability to climb walls after being bitten by a radioactive cockroach. He then uses this power for voyeurism.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\
**Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/131 "2003-11-07T01:59:21Z")

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**The Double Post Man**  
Kevin Costner is the last man on earth with a dial up Net connection resulting in unwanted extra posts. Pitting ensues. 😃

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**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-a-well-known-movie-by-first-subtly-altering-the-title/210906/132 "2003-11-09T18:28:22Z")

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**Enter the Dagon**  
Martial artist infilrates elder gods lair.

**Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dagon**  
An elder god becomes a martail artist.  
Or: Two martail artists vie for sword which summons elder god.

**The Two Flowers**  
Another Andy Warhol movie.

**The Two Tiffany Towers**  
Tiffany Towers stars as herself and her twin sister in this incest filled porn movie. The only porn movie ever to spend more than a thousand dollars for special effects

Warning the following entry is in extremely bad taste:

The Two Towering Infernos  
Movie about events on 9/11 starring Charleston Heston, directed by Irwin Allen.

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