# rewrite Governor Sanford's love letters! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 26, 2009, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-governor-sanfords-love-letters/501081 "2009-06-26T16:09:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-governor-sanfords-love-letters/501081/1 "2009-06-26T16:09:13Z")
Folks, in following the Governor Sanford affair, I have noticed something rather disturbing. True, he abused public funds, abandoned his duties as Governor, and betrayed his family - these things are unfortunate. Far worse, however, is the fact that the man can’t write worth a damn. His love letters to “Maria” are posted [here](http://www.thestate.com/sanford/story/839350.html). And they are _terrible_. Go on, take a look. I’ll wait. It occurs to me that we cannot rescue Sanford from the end of his political career. We cannot save his marriage, or even salvage his relationship with his mistress. However, there is one thing the Teeming Millions _can_ do - we can teach Sanford to write. I propose that we rewrite Sanford’s letters, as posted on the above site. We should try to keep the content more or less the same, but otherwise feel free to make whatever changes are needed to make these letters genuinely solid pieces of writing. Posters can choose new letters to edit, or revise earlier postings - this is all about helping, after all. 🙂 Anyone want to kick it off? Here’s an original letter: > [@](#): > > From: Mark Sanford > > To: Maria > > Date: Fri, 4 Jul 2008 03:09:44 +0000 > > Dearest, > > You are glorious and I hope you really understand that. You do not need a therapist to help you figure your place in the world. You are special and unique and fabulous in a whole host of ways that are worth a much longer conversation. To be continued … > > Have been having a few email problems as I am getting email through an aircard at the farm, where access to computer world is more than tough. Please let me know if you have gotten my last two eamils (sic) so I know it is working in getting to your part of the world … > > Another glorious day outside. Hope you are doing well, and am anxious to hear about your week. Know that I miss you. Unbeleivably (sic) hard to imagine it has been a week. Please also send your mailing address as I want to send you an insignificant something next week when I am back in civilization that I think you might find interesting given our conversation. > > Want to write an indepth note with some thoughts on our visit when I know you are getting these emails. Hugs and much love. M Not the worst example of Sanford’s writing, but it clearly needs work. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2009, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-governor-sanfords-love-letters/501081/2 "2009-06-27T04:43:43Z")
Dear Maria: You are so intoxicatingly wonderful that I think I’ll sacrifice my political career, and quite possibly the Presidency, for you. Hugs ‘n’ kisses, Mark P.S. Please don’t tell my wife. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2009, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-governor-sanfords-love-letters/501081/3 "2009-06-27T23:08:28Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Dear Maria: > > You are so intoxicatingly wonderful that I think I’ll sacrifice my political career, and quite possibly the Presidency, for you. > > Hugs ‘n’ kisses, > > Mark > > P.S. Please don’t tell my wife. Hahaha - I think that about sums it up. Well done, sir! ---
**Author:** ![Other\_Dreams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Other\_Dreams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Other_Dreams)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2009, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-governor-sanfords-love-letters/501081/4 "2009-06-28T00:01:25Z")
Would you terribly mind if I remain with the melodramatic feel of these letters in my rewrite? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2009, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-governor-sanfords-love-letters/501081/5 "2009-06-28T06:55:17Z")
> [@Other\_Dreams](#): > > Would you terribly mind if I remain with the melodramatic feel of these letters in my rewrite? Not at all - melodrama can be not-inappropriate for love letters, I think. Just, ya know, try and write with more skill than Governor Sanford. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2009, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-governor-sanfords-love-letters/501081/6 "2009-06-28T08:31:59Z")
Glorious.