Rewrite Starfleet regulations!

[QUOTE=MacTech]
It’s tactically foolish to put the Bridge on the TOP of the ship, at the highest point of the Saucer Section, where it is easily targeted by even the dumbest foes (Pakleds?).

thanks to high speed optical relays and large screen displays, the Bridge can be located anywhere in the ship, there is no tactical need to put the Bridge at the topmost point of the ship, it’s not like you need a “windshield” to look out of

Utopia Planitia shipyards will be issued a standing order to put the Bridge in a different location on each starship , it could be deep in the secondary hull of the ship, it could be near one of the nacelle pylons, it could be anywhere, take a page from your most intractable foe, the Borg, and decentralize your Bridge locations

since the Bridge could be anywhere in the ship, enemies will no longer have a common targeting point on Federation starships
[/QUOTE]

See, there could be one (heh) logical explanation for that, which is as follows. Star Trek space battles use incredible amounts of energy, and basically, if your shields are down, it doesn’t matter where your bridge is, you’re pretty screwed, because the next phaser blast will tear your entire ship apart. This explanation, however, fails because they explicitly show (especially in Enterprise and Voyager) ships being taken apart bit by bit. Oh well.

[QUOTE=athelas]
See, there could be one (heh) logical explanation for that, which is as follows. Star Trek space battles use incredible amounts of energy, and basically, if your shields are down, it doesn’t matter where your bridge is, you’re pretty screwed, because the next phaser blast will tear your entire ship apart. This explanation, however, fails because they explicitly show (especially in Enterprise and Voyager) ships being taken apart bit by bit. Oh well.
[/QUOTE]

Substitute “photon torpedo” for “phaser” and and I think you have a winner–unless your ship if is of the Defiant class. ST-VI made it pretty clear that, once the shields are down, your enemy can obliterate you at will in such short order that the location of the bridge is irrelevant.

I also vaguely remember in one of the ST technical manuals a passing reference to the “fact” that the deflector shields are projected in such a way that the bridge, being centered on the top of the primary hull of Constitution- and Galaxy-class ships, is even better protected there as a “focal point” of the shields than if it were located elsewhere aboard the ship.

7 of 9 to be made available to anyone.

At any time

For whatever purpose :smiley:

All other rules and regs are ignored following wild Bacchanalian orgies and piss ups

The Blue Ribbon Commission will study Joss Whedon’s Firefly and formulate guidelines in order to implement a major paradigm shift in the Starfleet Culture. (If this had been done at the beginning, no end of trouble could have been avoided. Well–there’d still have been trouble. But it would been more interesting.)

“Mirror, Mirrow: A Parody” is Roxane Longstreet Conran’s contribution to *Finding Serenity: Anti-Heroes, Lost Shepherds and Space Hookers in Joss Whedon’s Firefly. * Apparently, it was inspired by the prospect of filing the DVD’s of Enterprise* next to* Firefly*.

Sign in to Amazon & use the “Search inside this book” option. Pages 169 through 171 will give you the idea… (The book is uneven, but I found it worth buying. For this essay alone.)

[QUOTE=chowder]
7 of 9 to be made available to anyone.

At any time

For whatever purpose
[/QUOTE]

Paint my house.

[QUOTE=Bridget Burke]
The Blue Ribbon Commission will study Joss Whedon’s Firefly and formulate guidelines in order to implement a major paradigm shift in the Starfleet Culture.

[/QUOTE]

They are the Maquis.

[QUOTE=carnivorousplant]
They are the Maquis.
[/QUOTE]

So, Chakotay was Mal? Sorry—ain’t buying that.

[QUOTE=Ranchoth]
So, Chakotay was Mal?
[/QUOTE]

No, but they may have gone to the same bars.

[QUOTE=carnivorousplant]
No, but they may have gone to the same bars.
[/QUOTE]

Do you think Chakotay can tell Fanty and Mingo apart?

  1. Officers from other planets (who have bashed-in skull structures) shall be required to have plastic surgery (to the point where their skulls resemble normal humans).
  2. female officers shall be required to wear 1970’s-style revealing uniforms
  3. all electrical damage (shorted cables, arcing power busses) SHALL be handled by the science offifer (by poking around with a screwdriver)
  4. burials in space shall be done by the transporter-all corpses will be trnasported to the surface of local stars (cremation)
  5. travel to earth-like planets (where people wear the fashions of 1930’s-era Chicago, and subscribe to the "Mob’ code of conduct) will be greatly encourages

Ugly aliens are to be treated with caution. Extremely beautiful alien women are to be spaced immediately (after measurements are taken for holodeck use), as thay lead to nothing but trouble.

[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir]
Do you think Chakotay can tell Fanty and Mingo apart?
[/QUOTE]

If he’s prepared.

[QUOTE=carnivorousplant]
No, but they may have gone to the same bars.
[/QUOTE]

Do you honestly think any of the bars Mal goes to would let a twerp like Chakotay in?

[QUOTE=Sweetums]
Do you honestly think any of the bars Mal goes to would let a twerp like Chakotay in?
[/QUOTE]

Not to mention–Jayne goes to those bars, too.

[QUOTE=Sweetums]
Do you honestly think any of the bars Mal goes to would let a twerp like Chakotay in?
[/QUOTE]

Sure, he’s pretty ugly.

No time travel will be allowed without Starfleet HQ’s authorization. The paradox risks are too great. This rule will be waived only in Federation-threatening emergencies (as in ST: First Contact.)

The goofy emergency-control joystick (shown in Star Trek: Insurrection) will be immediately removed from the Bridge of the Enterprise-E and all other Sovereign-class starships.

All viewscreens will have a three-nanosecond delay and automatic dimming so that explosions outside the ship won’t blind the Bridge crew.

[QUOTE=carnivorousplant]
Paint my house.
[/QUOTE]

Really? oh well it takes all sorts I guess

[QUOTE=chowder]
Really? oh well it takes all sorts I guess
[/QUOTE]

Are your ears pointed, son? :slight_smile: