# Rewrite the movie title to be more "honest" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 12, 2007, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-the-movie-title-to-be-more-honest/387650 "2007-01-12T02:34:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-the-movie-title-to-be-more-honest/387650/1 "2007-01-12T02:34:12Z")
On a whim, well, speculation really, I picked up the new **Samuel L. Jackson** vehicle, **“Snakes on a Plane”** , amazingly enough, the movie was _exactly_ what was promised in the title, it was about a bunch of Snakes, on a commercial aircraft, amazing, actual _honesty in advertising!_, _now?!?_, whoda’ thunk it (the real reason I picked up SoaP was because i was speculating that at some point there _will_ be a Rifftrax for it…) So, I got to thinking, "what if other movies followed the SoaP formula, and were titled _HONESTLY_, it’d sure make for interesting titles For example; “WORMS in your BRAIN” (Slither and Night of the Creeps) “BUGS in SPACE” (Starship Troopers) “GROWN MEN AND WOMEN IN SPANDEX” (any Superhero/Comic Book film) “George Lucas’s transparent attempt to milk the Star Wars universe for more “Moichandizing” " (the Star Wars Prequels) “‘Heavy Metal’…Without the Tits” (Titan AE) “Big Metal Robot Eats Cars and Goes Postal” (The Iron Giant) “Angst…with Fangs” (Interview with the Vampire” so, how would you retitle films to make them more “honest”? ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-the-movie-title-to-be-more-honest/387650/2 "2007-01-12T02:56:33Z")
_Cinderella_ (The Girl with the Glass Shoes) ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-the-movie-title-to-be-more-honest/387650/3 "2007-01-12T03:04:40Z")
**Eastwood Shoots People Volumes 1-infinity**. **John Wayne Kicks Ass, Volumes 1-infinity** **Frat Life (with Tits)**–for **Animal House** Note: I fully enjoy Eastwood and John Wayne movies…but the suggested title is ample for my purposes. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-the-movie-title-to-be-more-honest/387650/4 "2007-01-12T03:05:23Z")
_The Stupidest Movie Since The Village_ : The Lady in the Water ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-the-movie-title-to-be-more-honest/387650/5 "2007-01-12T03:54:59Z")
_The Stupidest Movie Since Signs:_ The Village ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-the-movie-title-to-be-more-honest/387650/6 "2007-01-12T04:04:33Z")
_The Matrix Betrayed_ ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-the-movie-title-to-be-more-honest/387650/7 "2007-01-12T04:05:10Z")
\*The Stupidest Movie Since Lady in the Water \* : The Black Dahlia ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-the-movie-title-to-be-more-honest/387650/8 "2007-01-12T04:41:11Z")
“Big, Dumb Guy with a KNIFE!”; the Friday the 13’th series “Wisecracking psycho with a hand full of knives”; the Nightmare On Elm Street series “An Inconvenient Truth, but with more expensive CGI”; The Day After Tomorrow “The Day After Tomorrow, but with more wooden acting”; An Inconvenient Truth “A Holodeck Episode stretched out to 2 hours, but without a coherent plot or storyline”; Star Trek - Insurrection ---
**Author:** ![teemingONE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b4bc9f/32.png) [@teemingONE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teemingONE)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-the-movie-title-to-be-more-honest/387650/9 "2007-01-12T04:51:15Z")
**Bomb on a Bus** ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-the-movie-title-to-be-more-honest/387650/10 "2007-01-12T04:53:33Z")
Really, i thought it was called “The Bus that Couldn’t Slow Down” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-the-movie-title-to-be-more-honest/387650/11 "2007-01-12T05:18:52Z")
**Stunt Tits** aka **Blue Lagoon** ---
**Author:** ![Meeko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Meeko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meeko)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-the-movie-title-to-be-more-honest/387650/12 "2007-01-12T07:34:40Z")
“Taking your money, for a plot that went nowhere” :: “Taking lives” (Bonus title: Kiefer Sutherland is in this movie, no really he is!) “Not in the least connected to the plot land” :: “Freedomland” “Satisfaction Zero” :: “Suspect Zero” ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-the-movie-title-to-be-more-honest/387650/13 "2007-01-12T08:19:38Z")
**Amazingly Bad Spandex/Tight Leather Wearing Blind Superhero Movie** – **Daredevil** ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-the-movie-title-to-be-more-honest/387650/14 "2007-01-12T08:33:25Z")
“An issue of MAXIM stretched to 90 minutes” - Coyote Ugly “Unbelievably, It’s Dumber Than the TV Show, And No One Cares” - Charlie’s Angels: The Movie. “Jack and Enis Get Laid” - Brokeback Mountain “Swarzenegger Gets $50,000 per Word” - Pretty much any Sarzenegger film, excluding “Kindergarten Cop” and “Twins.” “Brand Routh **≠** Christopher Reeve” - Superman Returns ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-the-movie-title-to-be-more-honest/387650/15 "2007-01-12T08:46:21Z")
UPPER CLASS WHINERS IN JAPAN (formerly LOST IN TRANSLATION) ABANDONED BUILDINGS FULL OF WHINING ENTITLED SUBURB KIDS AND PRETTY HEROIN ADDICTS (shortened to RENT for the play/movie) DICAPRIO: NAKED & HUMPING A GUY (formerly TOTAL ECLIPSE) KEVIN SPACEY: BALD AND WASTED (yet another title the new Superman) DEAD POETS SOCIETY II, III, IV, etc. to SCHOOL TIES, THE EMPEROR’S CLUB, MONA LISA SMILE, the O’Donnell scenes of SCENT OF A WOMAN, etc. CIDER HOUSE RULES: THE EXPURGATED VERSION [the one without the decades and decades of far more interesting backstory] for the Caine/Maguire CHR ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-the-movie-title-to-be-more-honest/387650/16 "2007-01-12T14:51:39Z")
Bruce Willys saves the World (parts 1-infinity) Mel Gibson destroys the world (parts 1-infinity) Mel Gibson films peope destroy each other in foreign languages (parts 1-3) Jar-Jar Binks destroys Star Wars ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-the-movie-title-to-be-more-honest/387650/17 "2007-01-12T15:02:32Z")
_No, actually, they will need a bigger boat_ - Jaws _Dumbass soluble aliens_ - Signs ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-the-movie-title-to-be-more-honest/387650/18 "2007-01-12T15:05:01Z")
**Such a Horrible Year for Filmmaking that it Won Best Picture** - _Ordinary People_ ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-the-movie-title-to-be-more-honest/387650/19 "2007-01-12T15:24:49Z")
A Series of Unbelieveably Trite and Synchronous Events (formerly Crash) The Never Ending (and Constantly Annoying) Story (formery Artificial Intelligence) Annoying Teens Dying (formerly Urban Legend) Occasional Tits (formerly Bolero) Imaginary Laws (formerly Double Jeopardy) ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-the-movie-title-to-be-more-honest/387650/20 "2007-01-12T16:00:10Z")
**Lots Of Mumbling By Somebody Who Looks Like The Burger King But Is Considerably Lamer But More Pretentious** - V For Vendetta **UltraBoring** - Ultraviolet [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rewrite-the-movie-title-to-be-more-honest/387650.md?page=2)