# Rich Little Ensuckens Dead Donkey Balls **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 22, 2007, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-little-ensuckens-dead-donkey-balls/401150 "2007-04-22T04:03:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-little-ensuckens-dead-donkey-balls/401150/1 "2007-04-22T04:03:55Z")
Couldn’t fucking believe it. Morbid curiosity, only way to explain it. The Washington Correspondents Dinner, ya know? Last year, Colbert. You remember, or you can look it up. Minor fooforaw, not respectful, too nasty, ill tempered sarcasm, you know the drill. (The voice from Zappa’s _My Guitar Wants to Kill Your M_amma, querulous and neutron density unhip, “Don’t you boys know any nice songs?”…) So this year they play it safe, nothing too edgy…Rich Little. You heard me. Rich Little. And, God, was it awful. Camera crews adjusting their lenses as he sucked the light out of the room. He was billed as a comedian, so he told jokes. Old jokes, jokes found in cuniform on clay tablets in pre-Semitic languages. The one about the guy in the bar screams that lawyers are assholes and a guy is offended because (thuda_bump_!) he’s an _asshole_! Yeah, _that_ joke! Christ, _Jesus_ told that joke, is how old it is!! Pharisees, but same basic joke. I’m not making this shit up, its on tape, they’re gonna repeat it! As he lay dying, he even sulked into the cringing “The Audience Doesn’t Get My Jokes” jokes! If Bobcat or Payton Oswald had been there, they would have torn out his throat with their teeth. Roadkill armadillo is funnier, leprosy more witty, he lofted a joke like a dead baby tied to a bowling ball… But he was surpassed. Even as he was the unfunniest comedian ever in the history of the Universe, he was surpassed. GeeDubya gave the buzzkill intro of all time, nobody ever set up a comic for certain death like that. GeeDubya talks about how he isn’t gonna try and be funny because of how heavily the tragedy of VT weighs on him and surely all our prayers are for those suffering tonight in dark despair and now here’s the comedy stylings of Rich Little…! And the crowd chilled to mortuary room temperature. I urge you to check this out when it repeats, for your edification and stuff. 'Cause I don’t blame you a bit if you think I’m exaggerating here. Worst evah? Imploded burning dogs bad, galactically lame beyond human ken? Yes. I swear. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-little-ensuckens-dead-donkey-balls/401150/2 "2007-04-22T04:17:39Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] If Bobcat or Payton Oswald had been there, they would have torn out his throat with their teeth. [/QUOTE] Did you mean Patton Oswalt? Rich Little was the douchebag judge on Last Comic Standing who lambasted Gary Gulman for doing a roast challenge blue, IIRC. What a dumbass, those roasts are supposed to be utterly and completely profane. At least the ones done during this geological epoch are. ---
**Author:** ![Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c4cdca/32.png) [@Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quiddity_Glomfuster)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-little-ensuckens-dead-donkey-balls/401150/3 "2007-04-22T04:19:48Z")
But he didn’t make Dub look like a fool, now did he? They must’ve been hard pressed to find any comic who would promise not to. Forgot to add; anyway Little never was a standup comedian. His thing is impressions. He tries to add jokes but it’s not the main part of his act. ---
**Author:** ![Clockwork\_Jackal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5e925/32.png) [@Clockwork\_Jackal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clockwork_Jackal)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-little-ensuckens-dead-donkey-balls/401150/4 "2007-04-22T05:28:44Z")
There was an article in the Ottawa Citizen a little while ago about him. (He was born in Ottawa.) He said he never gets asked to perform in Canada and he finds his hometown unwelcoming. And I thought, “Well, Duh…Rich Little sucks! I’d rather watch paint dry.” ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-little-ensuckens-dead-donkey-balls/401150/5 "2007-04-22T05:54:32Z")
Rich Little? Wow, Henny Youngman is cutting edge compared to Rich Little. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-little-ensuckens-dead-donkey-balls/401150/6 "2007-04-22T06:02:47Z")
**elucidator** Good pitting there. (jokes told in cuneiform, by the Pharisees, etc). 😃 I believe there was a thead about Rich Little’s being chosen for this a few weeks ago, but then I never heard anything further. It’s good to know someone found out about this funfest. I wonder if he imitated anyone that is still alive? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Hildo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@Johnny\_Hildo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Hildo)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-little-ensuckens-dead-donkey-balls/401150/7 "2007-04-22T06:19:58Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] (The voice from Zappa’s _My Guitar Wants to Kill Your M_amma, querulous and neutron density unhip, “Don’t you boys know any nice songs?”…) [/QUOTE] I think you mean _Joe’s Garage._ ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-little-ensuckens-dead-donkey-balls/401150/8 "2007-04-22T06:28:37Z")
[QUOTE=Clockwork Jackal] There was an article in the Ottawa Citizen a little while ago about him. (He was born in Ottawa.) He said he never gets asked to perform in Canada and he finds his hometown unwelcoming. [/QUOTE] I regret to say that the playbill for the Orpheum Theatre here in Vancouver shows _Rich Little and Friends_ at the end of April. I don’t know how that’s expected to be a draw. Maybe the “friends” are half a dozen dogs dying of cancer. ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-little-ensuckens-dead-donkey-balls/401150/9 "2007-04-22T10:46:31Z")
Side note (and I don’t want to turn your thread into a “no, no, I saw someone unfunnier” contest, but I gotta get this out): I saw Jimmie Walker at a little shit-hole Chinese restaurant in Worcester, MA (called Aku-Aku, which is no longer. I am convinced that Jimmie’s appearance single-handedly put it out of business). The crowd was silent throughout. I mean, how bad do you have to be to not get a single laugh out of a crowd full of drunks (off Chinese restaurant drinks, nonetheless)? He actually opened up with, “Hih… hih… Worcester, Mass, you ready to partay? Well, dy-no-MITE!” He ended up getting pissed and walking off the stage. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-little-ensuckens-dead-donkey-balls/401150/10 "2007-04-22T13:35:52Z")
I parsed the thread title w/o recognizting ‘rich little’ as a name, but as a descriptor. it was probably funnier than his gig. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-little-ensuckens-dead-donkey-balls/401150/11 "2007-04-22T16:07:56Z")
[QUOTE=wolf\_meister] I wonder if he imitated anyone that is still alive? [/QUOTE] Wow, I didn’t know _he_ was still alive. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-little-ensuckens-dead-donkey-balls/401150/12 "2007-04-22T16:38:08Z")
This thread is proof positive, if proof were required, that _comedy_ and _humor_ are two entirely different things. BTW: if the words _roast challenge_ are preceded by the name of a food (eg: _pig_), you are probably tuned to a cooking show. Don’t expect yuks. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-little-ensuckens-dead-donkey-balls/401150/13 "2007-04-22T16:40:17Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] BTW: if the words _roast challenge_ are preceded by the name of a food (eg: _pig_), you are probably tuned to a cooking show. Don’t expect yuks. [/QUOTE] personal experience? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-little-ensuckens-dead-donkey-balls/401150/14 "2007-04-22T16:49:17Z")
If watching the toob can be counted as “personal experience,” yaa youbetcha hey. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-little-ensuckens-dead-donkey-balls/401150/15 "2007-04-22T16:55:03Z")
I’m gonna have to use that ‘dead baby tied to a bowling ball’ line as often as possible. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-little-ensuckens-dead-donkey-balls/401150/16 "2007-04-22T16:57:48Z")
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett] Side note (and I don’t want to turn your thread into a “no, no, I saw someone unfunnier” contest, but I gotta get this out): I saw Jimmie Walker at a little shit-hole Chinese restaurant in Worcester, MA (called Aku-Aku, which is no longer. I am convinced that Jimmie’s appearance single-handedly put it out of business). The crowd was silent throughout. I mean, how bad do you have to be to not get a single laugh out of a crowd full of drunks (off Chinese restaurant drinks, nonetheless)? He actually opened up with, “Hih… hih… Worcester, Mass, you ready to partay? Well, dy-no-MITE!” He ended up getting pissed and walking off the stage. [/QUOTE] Why in Og’s name was there a comedian in a Chinese restaurant? If you took the three funniest people in the history of comedy, sucked out their funniness when they were at their peaks, and crammed all the funny into one uber-funny comedian, he’d still get nothing from me but an icy glare whilst I pondered lethal uses of my chopsticks. Venue _matters_, dammit. ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-little-ensuckens-dead-donkey-balls/401150/17 "2007-04-22T17:01:27Z")
[QUOTE=Nametag] Why in Og’s name was there a comedian in a Chinese restaurant? If you took the three funniest people in the history of comedy, sucked out their funniness when they were at their peaks, and crammed all the funny into one uber-funny comedian, he’d still get nothing from me but an icy glare whilst I pondered lethal uses of my chopsticks. Venue _matters_, dammit. [/QUOTE] Sorry, I should have mentioned… the place doubled as a “Comedy Club” on weekends. In actuality, it was usually the end of the line for hasbeen funnypeople. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-little-ensuckens-dead-donkey-balls/401150/18 "2007-04-22T17:07:09Z")
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett] Sorry, I should have mentioned… the place doubled as a “Comedy Club” on weekends. In actuality, it was usually the end of the line for hasbeen funnypeople. [/QUOTE] Flashing on the Billy Crystal film _Mister Saturday Night_ (“It’s Lonely At The Middle”) – the aging Buddy Young booked to play a Chinese restaurant – the marquee says “Buddy Yung.” ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-little-ensuckens-dead-donkey-balls/401150/19 "2007-04-22T17:07:27Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] And the crowd chilled to mortuary room temperature. [/QUOTE] That’s to keep Little from decomposing. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-little-ensuckens-dead-donkey-balls/401150/20 "2007-04-22T17:19:18Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] GeeDubya gave the buzzkill intro of all time, nobody ever set up a comic for certain death like that. GeeDubya talks about how he isn’t gonna try and be funny because of how heavily the tragedy of VT weighs on him and surely all our prayers are for those suffering tonight in dark despair and now here’s the comedy stylings of Rich Little…! And the crowd chilled to mortuary room temperature. [/QUOTE] Yeah, best setup man _ever_. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-little-ensuckens-dead-donkey-balls/401150.md?page=2)