# Rich man's poor friend refuses to accept badly-needed gift. Admirable, stupid, or something else? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 25, 2011, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-mans-poor-friend-refuses-to-accept-badly-needed-gift-admirable-stupid-or-something-else/576010 "2011-03-25T21:48:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2011, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-mans-poor-friend-refuses-to-accept-badly-needed-gift-admirable-stupid-or-something-else/576010/41 "2011-03-29T17:47:35Z")
> [@Oy](#): > > **Skald** , if Kant said all lying was inherent unethical, he was living in a dream world along with Marx and other philosophers who insist that humans are rational and emotionless. Not necessarily true, dearest. You leave out the possibility that he was simply an asshole who needed to be beaten with two-by-four with nails stuck through it until he appreciated the essentially chimerical and selfish nature of his incredibly stupid ethical system. [Here’s a better analysis of Kant than I feel like writing this moment.](http://www9.georgetown.edu/faculty/ap85/papers/KantianMaxims.html) ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2011, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-mans-poor-friend-refuses-to-accept-badly-needed-gift-admirable-stupid-or-something-else/576010/42 "2011-03-29T19:24:44Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > … the possibility that he was simply an asshole who needed to be beaten with two-by-four with nails stuck through it until he appreciated the essentially chimerical and selfish nature of his incredibly stupid ethical system. That works for me. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2011, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-mans-poor-friend-refuses-to-accept-badly-needed-gift-admirable-stupid-or-something-else/576010/43 "2011-03-29T19:34:30Z")
Nobody wants to feel like they can’t take care of their own family. I don’t understand why people think Dave is wrong to want to be able to pay back the money. He’s not refusing it; he’s not putting his daughter in jeopardy. I think he’s proud in a _good_ way, not wanting to take handouts but willing to accept help when it’s offered. I hope Don lends him the money. I also think Don should either accept repayment, maybe donating it to charity or letting Dave donate it to charity himself. If he avoids collecting payment on the loan he is only going to be making Dave feel worse and deprive him of his need to feel like he can take care of his family. ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2011, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-mans-poor-friend-refuses-to-accept-badly-needed-gift-admirable-stupid-or-something-else/576010/44 "2011-03-29T23:14:14Z")
All of the above? Dave is admirable, in that he is willing to take responsibility for his and his family’s debts. Dave is foolish for being leery about accepting the help that this family needs. Dave is proud in a good way, in that his wants to stand on his own two feet. Dave is proud in a bad way, in that his pride is hurting his family. I think Don needs to be willing to let Dave make repayment as Dave is able to. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rich-mans-poor-friend-refuses-to-accept-badly-needed-gift-admirable-stupid-or-something-else/576010.md?page=2)